"It's mostly, y'know, behavioral traits. Both the dog and Kouji jump on Izumi and slobber over him at inopportune moments. Both run about in the rain for no humanly good reason. Both depend on Izumi totally for their food supply (or at least until Kouji learns to cook, unleashing the metaphorical blood rain and locust swarms of apocalypse). Both follow Izumi blindly into Bad Traffic Situations. Both drive the poor boy from one apartment to another to another... Nanjou Kouji. One part Liam Gallagher, one part pound puppy, one part Stalker!Relena from the more OOC run of GW fanfic. Shaken not stirred - add cherries at will."
Play with Budweiser in honor of Kouji and Katsumi. Wine works too, but two Traffic Specials' worth of distilled spirit'd kill you faster than the actual Mack truck. So don't.
This is the way it works: whenever there's a traffic situation - accident, reckless driving or plain ol' damn-I-look-cool-on-this-bike - skip to the Special and take the shots prescribed there. When you're done, return to the reg'r section.
Anyone keels over.
Izumi scores.
Kouji scores (the other kind...).
Anyone bursts into tears (gulp if it ain't Kouji).
Kouji goes to Izumi's game.
Kouji glomps Izumi.
Anyone gets into a brawl.
Anyone is injured.
Takasaka spazzes out.
Kouji has a new single out (twice if it goes into heavy rotation
on the telly; gulp if you own the MP3 ^_^).
You get Izumi's Traumatic Parental Flashback ™.
You get Kouji's Chibi!Izumi Soccer Flashback ™.
Izumi wears the Shorts (you know the ones - twice if that's all
he's wearing).
Katsumi takes care of all the Finer Details.
Izumi's scar gives him gyp.
Hirose is tormented by feelings of inadequacy (hook up an IV...).
Akihito kvetches about what a bastard Kouji is and how much he
hates him.
Come to think of it, anytime any of the Nanjous vocally expresses
his dislike for any other member of the family.
Anyone turns out to be Kouji's fan.
Izumi's dog-person status is duly noted.
Izumi works his arubaito (part-time job).
Kouji works Izumi's arubaito.
Someone moves in or out of an apartment. (They're all Montrealers,
I swear...)
Hirose employs blackmail or intimidation tactics.
Kouji's demented backstage ladies make an appearence...
Kouji makes the tabloids.
Izumi makes the sports rags.
Kunihide lets Eri walk all over him.
Izumi sprouts picta-metaphorical wings.
Katsumi Lectures On Love ™.
Izumi whacks Kouji (twice if he uses an Akane-esque instrument
such as a wok).
Kouji puts on his temperamental rock star act.
It rains.
It... snows.
Kouji "disguises" himself in a way that attracts the
attention of crowds.
You spot Kurauchi lurking unobstrusively volumes before you actually
find out who he is.
The problem is with Kouji but it gets taken out on Izumi. >_<
Imouto-chan Mini Special: sip once for Serika's appearances,
twice for Nadeshiko (is that really her name?!) and thrice for
Madoka.
Optional Special: If you're really trying to get drunk fast,
sip once every time you see the Takurin Piyo. And ah don't wanna
hear ya dunno what the Takurin Piyo is. Think about it for a
second.
Katanas or bokkens are wielded.
A thought: add cutlery and Exacto knives to that.
You see Chibi!Kouji.
You see Takafumi (I like Takafumi... ^^)
Someone lands in hospital.
Katsumi mentions Madoka or any other personal detail.
Izumi goes to Kouji's concert.
Anyone gets raped or attempted-raped (sadly this happens so often
it doesn't even make it to the chug section...)
Kouji dreams about Izumi (twice if it's particularly perverted)
Kouji's hair changes.
Katsumi's hair changes.
Kouji scores with Izumi!
You get Bizarre Christian References.
Kouji attempts a hausfrau activity.
Katsumi - bless the boy! - moves or switches schools in order
to further his vocation of sticking his nose in his friend's
life.
It's demonstrated that Kouji's good at everything (add a sip
if he says he doesn't give a flying f***).
Kouji explains about how he's Not A Hentai, It's Just Izumi ™.
Kouji traumatizes his band.
Izumi's in a apron. ^_^
Either of the Two Incarnations Of Kyo (Katsumi no kanojo) makes
an appearence.
Akihito throws a tantrum.
Hirose feels guilty about Akihito (he does!)
It's That Most Wonderful Time Of The Year...
Anyone declares that Their Love Is Hopeless.
Anyone dies.
Anyone's seriously maimed.
You are again reminded of why you hide Minami Ozaki from your
Jewish neighbors.
Izumi puts the moves on Kouji.
The word "subdued" applies to Katsumi's outfit.
Kouji has a headache and doesn't want
to do it tonight.
Izumi scores... in own goal.
Hirose is seen driving himself anywhere (go out and buy more
if he speeds).
All sit down and solve their problems within the hour through
earnest discussion and compromise.
***
(All of the following are cumulative)
Any of the following vehicles are involved:
A Mack truck
A motorcycle
A Ferrari
A Porsche
A black, Yakuza-esque sedan
Any other ridiculous automobile with an RPM resembling Kouji's
libido and a 0 to 60 resembling Akihito's IQ
One of the Nanjou boys is driving/riding
He's speeding
Without a license
Or a helmet
Drunk or insane
Deliberately engaging in dangerous behavior apart from the last
four common, garden and unremarkable items
Anyone's mad enough to ride shotgun (sip twice)
The car actually belongs to some chick (gulp)
He causes an accident
An accident happens even when there's no Nanjou at the wheel
Anyone's injured in the accident
Anyone's seriously injured
Anyone's permanently disabled
Anyone dies
(This is one chug for every character that gets taken out!)
There's a ten-car pileup ending with all main characters brain-dead and on life-support, after which it is determined that the whole storyline is really a dastardly plot by the Shibuya conglomerate to force a hostile takeover of the Nanjou conglomerate, a revenge fomented since the time Akihito (in junior high) 'taxed' Takasaka for his new Nakajima Miyuki tape and a pair of running shoes. After an astonishing episode of bloody internal strife, Katsumi is pegged as the Director of the new mega-venture and proceeds - after mystically communing with Kouji and Izumi's wishes - to donate their bodies to congenital blood disorder research. Takafumi marries Serika and they live happily every after.
(A girl can dream! Can't she...?)