Spark (An Abandoned Tape)

Ichigo doesn't smoke. Yuzu thinks it's a filthy habit, and any image he might want to project would be undercut in his own mind by the handwashing and gargling and consumption of breath mints necessary to keep his little sister from (literally) sniffing him out. So he figures there isn't any point to it. Other people might not realise, but who cares what other people see?

Here's the thing: he can't lie to himself. His reaction time is too fast.

Of course he's tried it. Enough to know what the fuss is. For about a year in junior high he went through a pack every three weeks, one cigarette a day. Chad would wait for him on the legal side of the hole in the chain-link fence, ostensibly on the look-out though there was never anyone, cops nor guards nor even yankees from self-styled rival gangs; he would light up with a match, take two puffs to make sure it burned and stand the cigarette carefully in an indentation on one of the concrete blocks. When it rained he propped a piece of corrugated plastic board over it so it wouldn't get wet. That's how shrines come about, he thinks, not wanting something to get wet. He remembers the way smoke coiled thinly in the cool, humid air, and the taste of fresh tobacco intermingled with rain.

The man had died in a freak accident. He had taken a shortcut through the construction site and a board had fallen on him, had driven a six-inch nail into his skull. It's the sort of horror story someone's mother might tell when lecturing on behaviours to avoid. Afterward he hung around because he couldn't find his way. He had a theory, that man: he couldn't get to the afterlife because he had no one to meet. No pressing urge. There was no one he wanted to stay close to on earth either. Cigarettes and newspapers were the old friends who had kept him company in life, but the latter no longer seemed so important.

This was certainly not true of all or even most of the spirits Ichigo encountered, but maybe it was true for that man. He has no way of saying. The man himself disappeared at the turning of the year, from one day to the next, so probably he found a way after all.

Ichigo likes to think he remembered an appointment.

— Montreal, March 2006