Boy.

You hate it when I call you that. You try to hide it, but I can see the flare of anger in your eyes whenever I use it.

Poor little boy.

I confuse you, don't I? You grew up in a world of order, where things just fell in place for you. How the world was Supposed To Be. Who you were. What your place in the world was. Being in the Seikishidan only reinforced that world-view by protecting and sheltering you in its fold.

My coming to the Holy Order must have shaken your sense of How Things Are to its very core. Because that's what I am, boy. Chaos incarnate. Disorder follows me wherever I go.

Confused little boy.

I revel in it. After God knows how many years, the unexpected is the only thing that can thrill me now. And you were completely unexpected. You, with the face and soul of an angel, but the fierce fighting spirit of the Lord of Hell Himself. That strange duality is all around you. The regard you have for everyone, and the casual disregard for your own health and safety. I've been here less than a month and I can already see how every other Knight in this place makes sure you take care of yourself.

Sweet little boy.

You have no idea how much I want to sully your pristine, pure body and soul, do you? Beautiful as you already are, the imperfection I could tarnish you with would make you irresistible. Did you know that ten different Knights - including Undrsen - have already warned me to keep my hands and thoughts to myself?

Tch. Of course you haven't. The Knights of this order have kept you so sheltered from the real world that I bet you wouldn't even know desire if it walked up and bit you on the ass. Now there's a thought. Keep flaunting it during our sparring sessions and I will some day.

Lovely little boy.

But, no matter how much I may want to lose myself in you, in your body, I know how stupid that would be. If I did give in to my need to corrupt your innocence, I would lose myself in you. In your compassionate heart and sweet, friendly eyes. Your easy, ingenuous smile.

Tempting little boy.

You make me wish things I can't afford to even think of. I cannot hate you. It's impossible to hate you. So I make you hate me.

After I wrote this, I couldn't think of a title for the life of me. Then, I took a look at these lyrics, and it hit me how *perfect* it was for Sol. So, there you go. ^_^v

"Beast"
KMFDM

MY YOUTH IS WASTED- I'M EVASIVE AND VAGUE
I'M A HEADLESS BEAST- I'M A SUBTLE PLAGUE

I'M A CHEATIN' LIAR- I AM NAKED TERROR
I HURT- I WOUND- I'M A FATAL ERROR

I'M A NON-BELIEVER- I REFUSE AND RESIST
I DON'T PLAY NO MORE- I'M A TERRORIST

I'M A RADICAL PIG- I EXPLOIT AND ABUSE
I AM TOTAL CHAOS- STRANGE AND ABSTRUSE

I DON'T MAKE SENSE
I GOT MY PRIDE
DON'T NEED NO MEANING
I FEEL NO SHAME
I WILL NOT BELIEVE
I GOT NO CHOICE
I'M OUT OF CONTROL
AND I LOVE IT

I'M A MAN WHO'S SICK- BUT I GOT CLASS
'COZ YOU ONLY GET RESPECT- WHEN YOU'RE KICKIN' ASS

NON-COMPLIANCE, NON-AGGRESSIVE, NON-CONTAGIOUS, NON-INVOLVEMENT
NON-PRODUCTIVE, NON-RELIGIOUS, NON-RESISTANT, NON-SUBJECTIVE