Two Dogs and a Broken Bone

Notes: This is a prezzie written for Kaz because she asked so nicely, and because she makes me such lovely wallpapers and icons. LOL! The usual suspects provided the drive-bys. Kaz, Susan, and Agent_Rouka, a big thank-you for services rendered. As always, mistakes remain mine. This is one possible sequel to my fic Feeling This which is located in the archives here:

Warnings: Read and heed. Sex: No. Violence: Yes. Some. Language: Yes. Bad words. Dark, dark, adult themes: Yes. Yes. Yes. It’s dark fic. Surprisingly so. Consider yourselves warned.

Rating: R

Setting: Post BT and Feeling This

Spoilers: Not really

Disclaimers: Definitely not mine. Belong to Henson, et. al. No copyright infringement intended. There is definitely no money being made.

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Somewhere in the frenzied orgy of fury coursing through you, you find the knife again and run it blindly across her throat. You feel her still in death beneath you and laugh out loud at the pool of red against the false golden sheets.

You close your eyes for a moment, comfortably cocooned within yourself, envisioning what it will be like. When you’re finally away from her and with Aeryn. You want to be free of this for her. You raise your head and open your eyes.

And look straight into Aeryn’s wide open, unblinking ones.

Reality and realization coalesce in a moment of sickening, mind-numbing clarity. A searing stream of shock and guilt flows through you, radiating through your pain-tightened body. The ringing in your ears suddenly modulates, and you can hear something other then the beating of your own heart and the rushing of your own blood.

Pulse pounding, climbing its way out of your throat, you give voice to the terror that’s inside your head. Hoarse and strangled, it’s ripped from you like the high, keening sound of a dying animal. Unaware of anything but the monstrous torrent of bitter, burning pain rolling through you, you don’t recognize it even as it becomes the sound of your own screaming.

Screams that snap your last fragile hold on sanity even as hands roughly laid on you pull savagely. Desperate, you cling fiercely to her, pressing yourself over and into her body.

You will not be separated from her. You will not allow or accept that. Not now.

You will find a way to go with her to that place you’ve sent her.

She’ll wait for you.

Your hands are slick with the blood pooling around you and you can’t hang on. Howling like something damned, you’re ripped from her. You lash out, only to feel yourself thrown wildly and falling through the void until sharp, welcome pain drags you into blessed oblivion.

******************************

Softly muted images, shades of light and shadow, play along the vanishing darkness that cloaks your consciousness. You’re not quite sure, can’t quite understand, why you’re so cold when you wake. But as the blackness of unconsciousness fades to grey, slow realization flows through you.

You’re naked on the floor amidst the carnage of your life reflected in the red, wrecked bed and the crimson splattered walls. Hot, sudden tears scald your cheeks as you stare at your blood stained hands, and images suddenly flare to brilliant technicolor in the raw, naked terrain of your mind.

Her body shaking from your onslaught, sobbing through your raging assault as you came in a sea of stars. A knife in your hand, feeling her still in death beneath you as you laugh. Her body in the pool of red against the sheets of your bed.

When D’Argo finds you again, you’re laying slumped on the floor of the shower stall, your back against the far wall, legs splayed out in front of you, head dropped forward, head resting on your chest, rivers of red swirling in the water trailing your life fluid lazily from your mangled wrists.

The knife still clutched in your clenched fist.

*****************************

The first bloody red-black streaks of the rising twin suns slashed through the breaking dawn as shades of light and shadow played with the slowly vanishing darkness of night. The old, dingy, slate-grey facility was cast in dreary relief as it sprawled against the naked terrain just outside the still-sleeping city.

The interior was an eerie echo of the dimness outside. Dirty windows did not allow the meager light to enter. In the silence of the early dawn, quiet footsteps echo softly in the dimly lit interior corridor of the old facility, as the large male attendant and his smaller female partner on the ward work their way down past rooms filled with silent, unmoving occupants.

They are quiet and competent in their ministrations, rolling your body over onto its back and working quickly to remove the white gown covering it. And they don’t disturb you as hands begin to bathe you and you float in the warm, comfortable cocoon of blackness that is your universe. That is until that sensation of hands moving over you drags at your sense memories.

They fail to notice the flickers of movement that were not the result of their ministrations.

******************************

You’re floating in the warm comfortable cocoon of blackness, the sensations of hands moving over you tugging at your consciousness. You remember her hands and how they’d made you feel when she’d touch you. Caressed you. Comforted you. You remember how much you loved her touching you.

Her long, strong fingers playing in the hair on your chest. Her cool fingertips tracing patterns, feather-light on your body, sending electric shocks of pleasure cascading through you. The smooth silk of her hand as it cupped your face when she kissed you.

You fall into the feelings and the images that was your lifetime with her. A flowing waterfall of midnight hair, sweet and silky in your hands. A radiant smile given only to you. The love in her incandescent eyes when she looked at you. The feel of her body, smooth and supple beneath yours as you claimed her with your hands, lips, and heart.

You want to stay here, safe and warm and happy, forever.

But these aren’t her hands and the warm feeling of comfort is slowly slipping away as other images begin flickering against the backs of your eyes. The feelings mutate as the images shift and the warm comforting sensations become something else.

Her body shaking from your onslaught, sobbing as you came in a sea of stars. Finding the knife and blindly running it across her throat. Feeling her still in death beneath you and laughing out loud at the pool of red against the golden sheets of your bed.

“Noooooooooo…” the keening syllable is ripped from you as you jerk upright in bed howling.

Hands grab your shoulders and push as you draw breath and scream your agony.

“Aeeerrrryyyynnnn…”

******************************

Hands push hard against your straining shoulders, trying to drive you back flat on the bed.

Not Aeryn. Aeryn’s gone.

You struggle against the sudden weight on your chest.

No. She can’t be gone…can’t be…can’t be. Gotta find her. Gotta save her.

You fight against the pressure, and suddenly you can bring both of your hands up between the arms holding you in an outward block which breaks their hold on you. Dimly, you hear a faraway alarm sound. It barely registers as your entire being focuses on escape, evasion, and finding Aeryn.

Automatically you pull back and drive a palm strike into the face in front of you, feeling bone shatter and cartilage snap under your hand. You roll roughly off the bed as the body drops in a heap at the side of it. As you stumble over the body, you feel other hands reach out, trying to restrain you. Over the sound of the alarms, you can hear footsteps pounding in the corridor.

Coming to get you. Keep you from Aeryn. They’ve got her. Gotta get her. She’s not dead. Gotta get her.

A quick outward block and a two-handed push to the chest sends the body trying to restrain you into the wall. Stumbling blindly, knowing you won’t be taken or kept from her again, you head toward the windows on the far wall of the room as reality batters your brain.

You killed her. You killed her. Oh, god. That’s real. You killed her.

There are others in here in the room now. Cocking back your fist, you push hard against the glass, shoving both hands through the break, shattering the pane. Pushing the inside of your wrists hard against the jagged edges of glass remaining, you barely feel the pain as you jerk back, slashing open skin and veins.

******************************

You’ve finally learned your lesson.

Rage and you’re restrained.

Howling and writhing, frustrated fury and screaming rages get you chemical sedation and/or full physical restraints.

Calm and you can move.

And so you are calm, collected, and in control.

You allow them to poke, prod, run their protocols, and perform their procedures. What can it hurt? You ignore the words they use.

Dissociative personality disorder. Brain damage. Lakka.

You draw pretty pictures. You give them the right answers. You say all the right things at all the right times.

You focus on what’s important.

Your lips are locked and your bodies fused. She’s lying on top of you, her breasts warm and soft against your chest, your hand fisted and twisting in her hair, your other hand pulling her more tightly to you. You’re aching for her. You want her so much. More than ever. Want to show her how much you love her and need her. You have to protect her.

D’Argo and Chiana come, smiling through their non-apologies, quiet tension, and festering pretenses. Rage, white-hot and burning, twists in your gut, but you listen to them tell you their lies about Aeryn and how sorry they are.

They think you don’t know.

It’s just a matter of time. You have a plan.

They want to keep her from you.

You are in control.

“Reality rarely lives up to the possibilities of the mind, John.”

“Shut the fuck up and back the fuck off, Harve.”

“You should have taken better care of her, John. But you didn’t. You broke her and now she’s gone.”

You’d watched her cut herself to pieces. Yeah, you’d broken her, but you loved every splintered shard she’d so painstakingly put back together.

“Is it better now, John, or is it still broken?”

You know you’ve been careless with her. But that’s over now. You’re going to get her back. It’s only a matter of time.

One fucking moment in time.

You know where she is. You know what you have to do. You can’t number the lives lost at the John Crichton altar to wormhole technology, but her deaths have never been peaceful at your hands.

You will make no more sacrifices.

“You can’t fix this, John.”

You can hear her voice calling to you.

“Watch me.”

******************************

In the end it was all so very easy. They took you back to Moya. Smiled and pretended and welcomed you back. You smiled at them and waited. It was only a matter of time.

So very easy.

The undulating waves of blue still came to you. All you had to do was close your eyes and you could see her, feel her pulling you into her loving embrace.

“You are not meant to be here, John.”

“Neither are you, Harve. Now get with the program or get gone.”

“John?”

And then suddenly, she’s standing in front of you, more beautiful than you remember. You close the distance between you and take her into your arms. You fall into her eyes as your fingers trace the face that has graced your every moment and thought.

You close your eyes as your hand slides up to cup her skull and brings her face to yours. You crush her lips and body to yours and let the wonder that is Aeryn wash over you. You ignore the echo you feel resonating through and around you, the urgent press of time, as you break the kiss and gently rest your forehead against hers.

“Come on, baby,” you whisper, taking her hand and tugging.

You want whatever’s left of her back. You want to take her and run far, far away.

“Come with me.”

Runaway with your heart, your hope, your love.

She laughs and falls into step with you.

You’ll run away with her by your side. You love her. You want her. You’ll protect her.

You love the fit and feel of her against you.

Your perfect fit. With you. Beside you.

Things start to go south at the junction of the next corridor. You turn the corner and run into…him.

“John?”

“What the hell?”

It’s nothing you can’t handle though. You came prepared. You had a plan. Your arm tightens on Aeryn’s waist and pulls her closer even as your other hand goes into your pants pocket. When it comes out, you blow the contents into Aeryn’s face and spin her away from you.

He’s only an instant too late in his response as you pantak jab him and he drops to the floor.

Damn. You really have always been a sucker for that.

You turn to Aeryn and find her glazed eyes looking off into the distance at something only she can see. You’ve always wondered what you’d looked like after a hit. Now you know.

She’s dazed and disoriented, swaying slightly on her feet. But it’s all right, because you’re here. You’re going of take care of her. You’ll never let her go alone again. You take her hand again gently, pulling her close to you.

“It’s all right, baby,” you whisper, burying your face in her hair. “Everything’s gonna be just fine.”

But you can feel the fire raging beneath her skin, her sweat soaked shirt, and she’s trembling in your arms even as you hold her closer. When you pull away to look into her face you can tell that she can barely focus. Her lips are moving, making inaudible, strangely incoherent sounds as she sways.

You reach to steady her, but she bats your hand away and turns away, stumbling and almost falling to the deck. You grab her upper arms, but she’s twisting and fighting even as you try to soothe her.

Time presses in on you. She won’t be able to move quickly. He won’t be out for long.

Your hand rises of its own volition to stroke her hair, fingers tracing the shell of her ear. You lean forward to rest your forehead against hers before gently nuzzling her cheek with yours. One endless moment you allow yourself to feel her, before pulling slowly away, fingertips gently trailing across her cheek. Pulling her close again, you brush your lips against hers.

“I love you baby,” you whisper, just before you step back and cold cock her.

Gathering her up in your arms, you step over his inert body.

You’re going to have to hurry.

*****************************

The warm, softly scented breeze blowing in from the water tickled your nose the way nuzzling in Aeryn’s hair did. You’re sitting in the backyard of your lovely little white colonial, surrounded by the lovely little white picket fence, sitting in the swing, watching Harvey play in the sandbox.

You sigh deeply when you see the freak turn to face you, just knowing he’s going to ruin your mellow.

Bastard.

“You can’t keep her, John,” he begins aggressively, pointing his shovel at you. “You know that, right?”

“Back off, bitch,” you warn genially, pushing back and starting to swing. “You are so not giving me relationship advice about Aeryn.”

“Relationship? Do you listen to yourself? You blow granny’s special mix into her face, kidnap her, and keep her so dusted with that stuff she doesn’t even know her own name. That’s hardly a relationship.”

“Thank you, Dr. Phil.”

“John…”

“Look. I may not have been as careful with her as I shoulda been. Or taken as good care of her as I should’ve. But that’s all over now. Once she gets over…this…you know…all the bad stuff that’s happened…everything’s gonna be fine. Everything is gonna be all right.”

“You have to put her back, John.”

“I’ll take that under advisement.”

“You’re going to get us all killed,” he says, glaring at you sullenly before throwing down his shovel and sinking down into a pout. “You have to give her back, John.”

“Let him get his own girl,” you suggest reasonably on the upswing.

“He had his own girl, John,” he reminds you loudly, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, Harve,” you suggest on the downswing. “And mind your manners. Remember. You’re playing in my sandbox.”

“If I know John Crichton…”

“If I know John Crichton,” you growl, digging your feet in suddenly and jerking to an abrupt stop, “and I do, I really, really do, the arrogant prick is gonna come looking for her.”

Two dogs and a bone. Fuckingratbastard.

“You have to put her back, John. I understand…”

“You understand nothing. You still don’t speak the language. Nothing is going to hurt her or take her away from me again,” you rage, covering the distance between you to stand staring down at him. “Not the chair, not neural chips, not neural clones, not neural bleeds. Not that psychotic freakazoid bitch with her boob juice, or that scary Scarran bitch with the big hat.”

You pause for a moment in your tirade to breathe deeply. When you speak again, your voice comes low and dangerous, harsh and guttural.

“And most definitely not him,” you growl deep in your throat.

“You can run, John, but you can’t hide.”

You hunker down beside him and give the half-breed freak your most unpleasant smile.

“You’d be surprised at how well I hide.”

“Einstein is going to be pissed,” he complains, pulling his cell out of his pocket, flipping it and beginning to dial.

“Fuck Einstein,” you snarl. “And who the hell are you calling?”

“My realtor.”

******************************

She stirs from her slumber beside you in your bed and you shift to gather her in your arms. She is everything you ever wanted and she is here, despite everything.

You’ve waited, bound and bleeding, broken and blind for her. It’s all been worth it. The pain inside is fading and having her here with you now is as good as having Halloween on Christmas.

Despite every bad thing, despite anyone or anything that ever tried to hurt her or take her away from you.

You’re the one here. With her.

Your fingertips trace her brow, her nose, her cheek, her lips. Your lips follow the same path, holding her close to your body. Her eyes flicker open and you allow yourself to fall deeply into them, glazed over as they are with the love she feels for you. She shifts gently beneath you.

“John?”

“Shhhh, baby,” you soothe, crooning to her and reaching under your pillow. “God baby, I love you so much.”

“John?”

“Everything is fine, baby,” you murmur into her hair. “I love you.”

You open your hand and softly blow into her searching face. She jerks suddenly and her body twitches as granny’s magic dust hit and then she settles, soft and pliable in your arms.

“Everything is gonna be fine baby.”

Perfect.

“I love you baby,” you whisper again, settling down beside her.

Everything was just perfect.

******************************

You feel the cold rush of wind grab you, pulling you as the bed spins. You try to stand but before you can you see stars behind your eyes and feel yourself slip into an endless fall as blackness swallows you whole.

You come to and find yourself stretched out on an unfamiliar bed. Your head throbs and your limbs are numb. Keeping your eyes closed and moving cautiously, you flex your hands and feet until the tingling sensations running up your limbs tell you that your blood flow is being reestablished.

When the pounding in your head recedes, you open your eyes and find yourself staring at a bright white ceiling. Gathering your strength, you pull yourself upright into a sitting position and swing your legs around and off the bed. White walls and a white floor stare back at you.

Sterile cell. Check.

You lean back against the wall, flexing your hands and feet, and wait for your host to arrive.

Pretty sure you know who that’s gonna be.

“What do you think you are doing?”

The cold, flat voice asking the question carried quietly in the tiny room, an underlying tone of anger coloring it. You open your eyes again at the sound and turn your head slightly to the left.

Einstein. Check. And, yep, he’s pissed.

“We have gotta quit meeting like this,” you suggest softly, leveraging yourself off the bed. “You couldn’t find someplace else? You know what they say about variety. Harve at least keeps me amused.”

“I am not here to keep you entertained.”

“Yeah. Well as much as I’d like to stay and chat, this really is just a quick drive-by to take care of some odds and ends. Think of it as a courtesy call.”

“I’ll ask you again. What do you think you are doing?”

“I would think that’d be kinda obvious,” you drawl, moving closer to the old man. “Protecting what’s mine.”

Yeah, you’ve been careless and risked her, killed her, and lost her. You’d broken her as surely as she’d broken your father’s glass coffee table. But that was over now.

Because you remember love and you remember happiness with her and you remember the alternative.

You’ll never be careless with her again.

“That is not the way this works.”

“I don’t care about how it works,” you say, slowly circling the Ancient. “I only care about one thing.”

You stop circling when you come face to face with the old man. He looks older and more frail than you remember.

“That…is…not…the…way…this…works,” he says slowly, enunciating each word carefully and clearly as if you are slow and defective.

“I don’t care about how this works,” you repeat again slowly. “I only care about one thing.”

“The knowledge given to you is not to be used for your personal…agenda. You know that. The potential for irreparable damage is great,” he trails off, pausing to take a breath.

“You know, we’ve had this conversation before. We’re not having it again.”

“He’ll come for her.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“This is unacceptable.”

“Not your call.”

He steps further into your personal space and becomes more challenging.

“Put her back,” he commands.

“No,” you reply, stepping forward and forcing him back a step as you jab him in the chest with your forefinger. “I did not ask for this knowledge. I did not want this knowledge. I protected this knowledge through the shit storm of bad karma that followed it like a plague.”

You’ve backed him up against the bed with hard jabs to his chest that punctuated each of your points and now you stand glaring at him.

“Put her back.”

“See, I’ve got a problem with that. You still don’t get it, do you? This shit’s just gone way too far. It’s all one big clusterfuck. I mean it’s taken everything,” you trail off, losing yourself in your memories for just a heartbeat. “I just can’t give anymore.”

“Put her back,” he says reasonably, voice low and calm.

“No. You’re getting weaker, aren’t you? You gave me this…gift for a reason. You need me. To watch your back. I’m your go-to guy. And all I ask in return is one thing. One.”

“Put her back,” he screams, pushing you violently in the chest with both hands.

The force makes you step back a pace, but the recoil pushes him in the opposite direction and he sits heavily, ungracefully on the bed. One look at your face and he scoots back against the wall, shrinking into himself.

You step forward and with the heel of your hand on his forehead, force his head back against the wall so that he is looking up at you as you place your hands on either side of his head.

“Make me.”

******************************

Eyes closed, you breathe in her scent as lights filled with numbers and equations dance before you. You know the answer is here. The answer to everything.

You will keep her safe and protect her. Keep her from anyone and anything that would ever harm her again. That would keep her apart from you.

You know he’s coming.

Tunnels and voids open and close, and you smile softly as you adjust your trajectory, heading home. Soft, swirling waves undulate through the starlight at your call. Your hands move of their own volition as forces push and pull and you twist and turn through the ocean of blue that sails in and past you.

You’ll keep her from him.

Smiling triumphantly, you finally exit at your destination. You are home. You undo your restraints and turn to the woman strapped into the seat next to yours.

“Hey, baby,” you whisper, leaning in to give her a gentle kiss. “We’re home.”

Everything is fine. Everything is gonna be all right. Everything is gonna be just perfect.