A Merry Frelling Christmas Story

Ah, ‘tis the season. What can I say? It’s two weeks until Christmas break and this just kinda came to me. It’s different, but at least it’s short. At least for me.

Warnings: Not this time. Sorry. No sex. No violence. Not even real bad words. No dark, adult themes. This barely makes PG-13. Next time. I promise.

Rating: PG-13
Setting: Post BT
Spoilers: Hardly

Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. Belong to Henson, et. al. No copyright infringement intended. No money being made.

Thanks to ScaperRed for the beta and everything else and to kaz for the drive-by read-through and everything else.

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“Are you sure you’re all right?” John asked his very pregnant wife, trying to see through the small hands that were currently covering his eyes.

“Yes, John,” Aeryn sighed not so patiently. “For the third time in half an arn, let me tell you again. I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

John reached up to remove his son’s hands from in front of his eyes and resettled the squirming two cycle old more firmly on his shoulders. Turning his head as far as the boy’s bouncing legs would allow, he glanced at his wife.

“You don’t look fine,” he observed. Aeryn graced him with a glare, and with a diplomacy honed over the cycles spent living with her, he quickly backpedaled. “You just look a little…tired,” he finished lamely.

“Of course I look a little tired,” she ground out with limited patience. “Your child,” she gently rubbed her very extended belly, “does not let me sleep during the sleep cycle. And your child,” she smiled, reaching up to caress her son’s face before turning to glare again at her husband, “does not let me sleep during the rest of the day.”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” he corrected her gently, reaching out to take her hand. “I know how hard this is for you.”

And he did. He worried about her constantly, walked the tiers with her during her sleepless night cycle when she would let him. Made sure she ate properly and tried to make her as comfortable as he could. Helped with Evan whenever and however he could.

“It’s almost time for the baby to be born and you’re just a little cranky,” he said soothingly.

“I am not cranky,” she growled, yanking her hand from his.

Evan was bouncing on his shoulders again, drumming his little hands on John’s head in his excitement at all the activity going on in the village. Small grey furry beings rushed back and forth across the main village square, carrying branches and bags and strings of lights and decorations. A lot of them were singing or humming. When the boy’s heels kicked him again in the chest, John reached up to pull him off, sliding the little body onto his hip.

“Hey, little man, mommy’s cranky…erm, hungry. You wanna get something to eat?”

“Grolak, grolak, grolak,” the little boy chanted happily.

“Grolak it is, little man.”

John flashed his most charming smile at Aeryn. She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. Then she gave in and the corners of her lips quirked. John grabbed her hand again.

“Come on. There’s an inn up ahead on the left.”

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The inn’s dining room was quiet and dark. Rows of blinking crystal lights intertwined with strands of fresh cut bright blue branches and circled the large room where the walls met the ceiling. Two servers were stringing more strands of lights around the large window overlooking the activity in the square. Three more were stringing strange looking objects around a tall tree that matched the color of the branches.  

Pushing back his plate with a satisfied sigh, John surveyed the remains of their meal. There wasn’t a lot left, he realized, considering the amount of food they had ordered. His lovely wife must have been hungrier than she realized. He smirked to himself at the thought. Evan was building structures with the blocks Aeryn had produced from her bag before collapsing heavily against the back of their booth.          

“Is there anything else I can get for you gentlebeings? Was everything to your satisfaction?”

“Everything was fine,” John smiled up at the inn’s owner. “Looks like you guys are getting ready for a party,” he said, gesturing around at the decorations.

“It is our humble celebration of the winter solstice. Tomorrow is the shortest solar day of our cycle. Since the time of our earliest ancestors we have created light displays to push back the dark, decorated our dwellings, and given gifts, small personal tokens of affection really, to lighten our hearts in the dark time.

“Christmas!” John whooped, his face lit with joy as he made the connection. “Aeryn, it’s Christmas!”

“Christmas,” she said with a half-hearted smile. John froze at the realization.

“Ah, babe, I’m sorry. I know your last…only…experience with Christmas wasn’t the…best,” he stumbled over the words and the memory of their only real Christmas celebration back on Earth surfaced with a jolt. “But hey, we can…enjoy the experience here, right now.” He came up short with a sudden thought.

“We can stay and join the celebration, can’t we? Or is it only for the villagers?”

“No, anyone is welcome. There are always outsiders present at the celebration. It is a time for all in the village. At first light, our young ones wake and receive their Solstice Day presents from their parentals. Then everyone comes here to eat, drink, and be merry, and the rest of the villagers exchange their gifts.”  

“Can we stay, babe? Huh? Can we? I’ll comm Pilot. We weren’t going anywhere anyway. They won’t miss us for another day,” John said in a rush.

“I have a lovely suite available for your use, should you decide to join us in our celebration tomorrow,” the owner provided helpfully.

“Well…”

“Great, babe. We’ll have a great time. You’ll see,” he said excitedly, grabbing Evan. “Come on, we’ll get you settled in our room and then Evan and I will go out and see the sights while you get some rest. That ok with you?”

“If you wish, I can settle your mate in your room if you would like to take your offspring now. There are rides and games for the little ones on the far side of the village.”

“That ok with you, babe?” John asked again, holding Evan upright.

“It’s fine,” she sighed heavily, leaning over to kiss her son. “Have a good time.”

John slid out of the booth, kissed Aeryn quickly and grabbed his son.

“Thanks, babe. Rest. We’ll see you when we get back.”

He took off for the door. Aeryn sighed again and looked at the innkeeper.

“Where’s the nearest gift shop?”

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“Ssssshhhhhh, Mommy’s sleeping,” John whispered conspiratorially to his son.

Evan giggled softly as they crept into the room and moved quietly to hide bags under the bed. Aeryn kept her eyes closed and breathing soft as she waited for them to finish. She had already hidden her purchases. When she was sure they were finished, she stretched leisurely to let them know she was awake.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy,” Evan yelled when he saw she was awake.

John snagged him in mid air as he launched himself at her. He swung the boy around in circles, high and low, while Aeryn leveraged herself to her feet. Evan screamed with delight.

“We took a ride in the forest,” he said as he came to a stop and deposited his son on the floor.

“How ya feeling, babe?”  John asked as came over and gave her a quick kiss.

“Much better, thank-you,” she smiled. “But hungry. Are you ready for Last Meal?”

“You betcha. Last Meal then bath time and bed,” John smiled, grabbing Evan and tossing him up in the air. “Whaddya say, little man?”

“Grolak, grolak, grolak,” Evan chanted happily. “Bath.”

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Aeryn stood looking out the window at the night sky as she listened to the gentle breathing of her husband and son. Even her unborn child was quiet. The new moon phase of the night sky was pitch black, letting the stars’ brilliance be seen in all their undiminished splendor. She loved looking at the stars.  

Last Meal and bath time had been remarkably uneventful. She thought that might have been because John and Evan had been tired out by all the outdoor activity that afternoon. Whatever the reason, Evan had fallen asleep soon after his bath and John had followed soon after, nodding off as he ran his fingers up and down her back as she lay curled beside him, noses and foreheads touching.

But now she was awake and restless. She thought that perhaps a walk through the brisk night air under the stars might settle her enough to go back to sleep, so she quietly went to pick up her clothes from her side of the bed. Dressing quickly, she checked again that John and Evan were both sound asleep before strapping her pulse pistol to her thigh and adjusting the belt. Then she let herself quietly out of the room.

Aeryn waited a microt to let her eyes adjust to the low level of illumination before walking down the corridor and negotiating the level risers. She reached the main level and began making her way carefully in the dim light of the sleep cycle to the main entrance. A noise off to the side in the primary dining room caught her attention. She thought briefly that it might be the owner or his wife and she headed over toward it, intending to let them know where she was going.

“What the frell?”

The little body bent over busily removing presents from the pile under the large tree in the corner straightened quickly and guiltily at the sound of her voice. There was a more than slightly terrified expression on the small being’s face as its mouth worked but no sound came out.  

“What the frell are you doing?” Aeryn asked again, drawing her pulse pistol.

“Ssssshhhhh, gentlebeing,” the little grey one said, voice squeaking and eyes widening.

It was dressed in a ridiculous bright red outfit to ward off the effects of the cold and had a large, oversized hat on its head that slid over its face. Aeryn thought briefly, distractedly, that it looked very much like something she had seen before but she couldn’t place where or when.

Shoving the hat back with a small, gnarled hand, it continued. “There is nothing for you to be concerned about here gentlebeing, nothing at all. I am only…counting the presents that will be given tomorrow.”

“That sounds a little suspect,” she said, eyes narrowing.

“Excuse me?”

“Why do they need to be counted?” Aeryn asked quite reasonably, waving her pulse pistol to indicate the presents.

The little grey face scrunched up in a moment of intense concentration before it replied.

“Uhhmmm, so that we are sure we have enough presents for everyone?”

“Riiiiiiight. And you have to do this…accounting in the middle of the night?” Aeryn asked, looking hard at the floor in front of the being before pointing her pistol at the huge sack laying there. “What is that for?”

“Oooohhhh, nothing,” the little grey one replied, reaching out a foot to drag the bag behind him.

“Admit it,” she challenged angrily. “You’re stealing these presents, aren’t you?”

“Oh, fine,” it growled disgustedly, still looking at her pistol. “I’m stealing these presents.”

“Why?”

“Why? You ask me why?”

“Yes. I asked you why,” she repeated exasperated. “What didn’t you understand?”

“I had to find some way to stop this. I do not like this. I do not like it at all,” the grey one said, spreading its hands to encompass everything in the room. It stepped toward Aeryn, eyes wide.

“Every cycle it’s always the same,” it said, waving its hands and pacing back and forth. “All that singing and dancing and noise making and little ones running roughshod everywhere over everything. People coming and going. It gets so a body can’t sleep.” The grey being stopped pacing and fixed Aeryn with a disgusted stare.  

“And the day of the gift giving is the worst. They wake up and it’s noise, noise, noise. They squeak and they squeal, and they sing, sing, sing.” The being looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to agree with him.

“And you think that taking the presents away will put a stop to it?” Aeryn asked incredulously.

“Well…yes,” he said, as if speaking to a small child.

“But this isn’t the only place villagers give presents. They have them in their homes…you’re stealing all the presents in the village?” Aeryn’s voice rose with the accusation.

“Well, of course I’m stealing all the presents in the village,” he said, looking at her as if he thought no one could possibly be that slow.  

“And you think that if you steal all the presents you can stop this celebration from taking place?”

“Well, duh. If all the presents are gone when they wake up no one will sing or dance or be happy.”

“Did it ever occur to you that even without the presents maybe they won’t be sad?” Aeryn asked, struggling to remember what John had told her about the spirit of Christmas. “That maybe it’s about more? Maybe just being together is enough?”

“No. They’ll all just be crying boo-hoo.”

“That is not very…nice,” she said, sounding very much to herself as if she were chastising Evan. “You are not very…nice.”

“And I suppose you do…nice very well.”

“Better than I used to,” she indignantly replied with a shake of her head. “Put it back. Put it all back,” she commanded.

“Why should you care? You aren’t from here and in a solar day or two you will be gone.”

“I care because…this isn’t right. I think you’re wrong about the presents. But it’s still not right to steal. The villagers will be distressed if that happens.”

“Why do you care if the villagers are distressed? Your mate and child won’t be. I watched you all today. You have presents for each other. You won’t be distressed.”

“Look, I don’t have time for this,” she said, realizing she might have to use a bit more direct approach to end this conversation which was making her head hurt. She found herself wanting to shoot his hairy grey eema.

“This is the closest thing to Christmas my husband has seen in the Uncharteds. It would distress him greatly to see anything bad happen. I hate to see my husband distressed. You,” she said, stepping forward and pointing at the being, “do not want to see my husband distressed. You do not want to see me when my husband gets distressed.”

“So?”

“So, we are going to put everything back just the way it was before anybody finds out what you’ve done. I’m going to tell the innkeeper that we had such a great time we’d like to return next cycle. Before we leave I’m going to give him a beacon he can contact us with so that we will know if you try anything like this again.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” she said, her tone brooking no argument. “Now put that stuff back where you found it and hurry up. We don’t have all night.”

“You can’t make me do this.”

“Don’t make me hurt you,” she snarled taking a step forward and pointing her pistol at him.

“Ok. Ok.” The being took a quick step back and began shoveling presents back under the tree, muttering under his breath the whole time.

“How many houses have you visited?” Aeryn asked, putting on her jacket.

“Not many. I just got started.”

“You’re lucky. And if you want that luck to hold,” she warned him, “you’ll hurry up and never let me hear of you trying anything like this again.”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you always this cranky?”

“I am not cranky.”

“Riiiiiiight.”

She sighed. It was going to be a long night.

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The twin suns were only an arn from rising when Aeryn crept back into her room. She stopped just inside the door to listen intently for the sounds of any activity that might indicate either John or Evan was awake. Satisfied by the stillness that greeted her she silently slipped her jacket off, removed her clothes, and tiptoed to the bed.

She looked down at her husband’s sleep-filled eyes and smiling face.

“I thought you were asleep,” she whispered.

“I was,” he whispered back, “but then I woke up and you weren’t here. So I figured you couldn’t sleep.” He pulled the covers back, silently inviting her into their bed. “I’ve been waiting for you. Where’d you go?”

“You’re right, I couldn’t sleep,” she agreed quietly, sitting down, swinging her feet up, and rolling over to rest on her side.  

She settled herself as comfortably as she could against John, her head on his chest and arm draped across his midsection. He pulled the cover up over her and settled himself more comfortably. His hand came up to stroke her hair while the other one stroked softly up and down her arm.

“Sleep baby,” he murmured, kissing her forehead. “Evan will be up soon.”

“Uhhhmmmm,” she sighed, lifting her face for a proper kiss good-night.

She snorted softly as she settled again and a thought struck her.

“What?” John asked sleepily.

“We have got to come back here next cycle.” She snickered again at another thought. “And by the way. Merry frelling Christmas.”