Harbinger of Sorrow

Summary: What if Scorpius didn't know the location of Trilask? How far would John go to find Aeryn?
Rating: NC-17
Author Notes: This started out as a short story inspired by a line in a song, and then mutated beyond anything I've done. I want to the thank FBF, Reefrunner, ScaperRed and that little plot bunny clone of mine Ixchup for all the help keeping the voices in my head in line.
Story Notes: Spoilers for BHTB, CoD, Prayer, and WSS
Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was, we'd have a Farscape Channel.


 

It started out with a question. A simple question, "What about the baby?" He stared at her when she gave him a small questioning smile. He continued to look at her; searching her eyes as his heart dropped into his stomach. He asked again, the question becoming less simple, more urgent with each repetition, the fear growing until he thought it would swallow him whole.

He drew is gun on Aeryn, Aeryn of all people. He still couldn't believe it. Some instinct deep inside screamed at him that it wasn't her. When she reached for her weapon, that instinct took control and he pulled the trigger. He felt as if his whole body went numb as he watched half of her face disintegrate before his eyes. He sat next to the bioloid body for arns after Sikozu removed the beacon from the remains, not letting anyone near it as his own body alternated between vibration and numbness.

Days passed as if caught in permanent fast-forward with nothing to show for their efforts to find Aeryn. He found himself continually watching a piece of trash television program that Pilot had intercepted and recorded. That same instinct that made him pull the trigger was telling him it held the answer to Katratzi. Sikozu had been the key or rather the catalyst for the memories to fall into place. Einstein...Einstein had known this would happen when he was sent into that twisted reality.

He knew what he had to do.

His stomach clenched at the very thought, his instinct screaming for him to turn around before it was too late. He tried to quiet the voice, after cycles of living with Harvey; the task was a simple one. Standing outside of that cell, his mind flashed to the image of Sikozu/Stark's last word...Suddenly he thought of Einstein stating, 'Almost your reality...forever.' Aeryn had died in that reality, he'd be damned if he allowed it to happen in this one as well.

He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the rush and hum of his blood in his ears. The Ancients had begun this dance, it felt as if a lifetime ago. Then Einstein had known it was going to happen, that Aeryn was going to be taken. He would never know peace trying to protect this knowledge, especially without his one piece of sanity left to him, his center. He focused one last time on the image of Einstein; "You set me up...not that I care." He opened the door to his change in destiny as his eyes shifted to Scorpius. He stepped further into the room with more focus than he had ever felt before, knowing he had found a solution to both of his problems in the figure lying before him.

"I don't care about much...war...death...wormholes...I don't care about the things you care about." He moved to the side of Scorpius' bed. "Peacekeepers rule the Scarrans, the Scarrans rule the Peacekeepers...let them rule together and put your ass in a cage. I care about one thing...One."

He felt a stab of fear pierce his chest; pushing it aside as he looked upward, "God have mercy on my soul." Turning his focus back, he locked his eyes onto Scorpius'.

Kneeling down, he said the words he never thought he would say, "I'm going to need your help, Mr. Scarran half breed...to get Aeryn back. Help me get her, and I will give you wormholes." He searched Scorpius' face for a reaction, when there was none, he continued.

"I have an idea of how to find the Scarran base. Aeryn...for wormholes...that's the deal."

He stood without another word, never taking his eyes off of Scorpius until he left the room. His chest felt tight as he walked towards his own room, he knew he had made a very bad decision, but he told Scorpy the truth...he didn't care. The universe had gone out of its way to screw over John Crichton for so long, it was time for the Universe to bend over now.

 


 

A feeling of anxiousness kept washing over him as he and Scorpius walked through the corridors on their way to Command, and it didn't help him feel better as Scorpius used him as a sounding board for his negativity. .

Sitting on the table, he waited to see Scorpius' reaction to his plan.

"If I help with this insanity...and we do get Aeryn back..." Scorpius slowly walked towards him, he knew Scorpius was reading him, to see if he was lying. "...you will tell me all you know about wormholes, every equation, every formula."

Turning back to the half breed, he felt strength in his resolve, "Everything."

He couldn't stop himself from jerking when Scorpius grabbed his hand and cutting his thumb, then shock filled him as Scorpius tasted his blood. `What did he think to accomplish that...' his thoughts trailed off as his antagonist performed the same theatrics on himself.

The microt the pearly drop of blood touched his tongue, he felt it...a tidal wave of thought and emotion hit him. Screams...claustrophobic fear...hunger...regret...everything tinged blood red. The next microt it was gone, he was sure his fear and paranoia were the cause for the sensations. The only thing he knew for certain, he now was changed and chained to Scorpius forever as the hybrid was to himself. He was determined to use every advantage to find her, large or small, it was all the same. The Ends justified the means. Nothing would keep him from finding Aeryn.

 


 

He held Winona; pointing it at Chiana, but it wasn't Chi. It was Aeryn, but not. He couldn't tell anymore. It looked like Chiana, but he saw Aeryn.

"No...no, I can't." He lowered his arm, watching her...them, he couldn't tell...all he knew was that it hurt. She breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Suddenly Scorpius grabbed his hand and pulled the trigger, "Nooo!"

"Now cross her over." He heard Scorpius say a microt before he slammed a fist into the hybrid's face.

She's dying...He stood there watching her take her last breath as Stark slowly lowered her head onto his lap. Walking over to them he sank down onto the floor as Stark released the strap on his mask and began crossing her over. He heard the word he had been searching for.

"Katratzi...that's it Stark, that the name of the base...Katratzi. Where is it?" He watched as he continued.

"Seat of Scarran power...small. It's fortified, it's dangerous. Disguises its presence by mirroring the orbit of one of the moons of Trilask..." The light faded from behind the mask.

He waited for Scorpius to say something as he continued to look down at Chiana, there was only silence. He looked up at Scorpius. The hybrid's gaze was distant as he searched his memory, after several long moments he looked down at John.

"I am unfamiliar with this planet. The Scarran Empire is vast John. We have the location...I will make available all of my resources."

Looking back down, he slowly touched her hair then stood up, walking towards Scorpius then straight past him without a word.

For a brief moment as he waited for Scorpius, he almost jumped into the module and left him. Knowing this Moya was destined for destruction in less than half an arn, he could be rid of him forever, but one thought kept him still...He needed him, and he hated that. Scorpius entered the hanger, sighing as he looked at him. He could tell that Scorpius had actually feared that same conclusion as he climbed in the cockpit without a word.

As soon as they exited the wormhole and contacted Moya, D'Argo informed them of the Command Carrier and told them to tuck in close for Starburst.

"Why is nothing ever easy with you?" Scorpius asked.

"I wish I knew." He muttered as steered the module closer to Moya and everything turned a brilliant white.

 


 

Voices whispering in the darkness.

"John...John, wake up."

Jumping as he woke, his arm flailing outward only to be caught in a strong grip.

"Wha..."

His eyes focus onto D'Argo's face as his arm is released, "It's okay, you were knocked unconscious during Starburst. Do you need any help out?"

Shaking his head, he said, "Ah...no, everything seems to be working."

Climbing down, he saw Chiana a few feet away, anxious. Quickly turning his attention away, he was unable to look her in the eyes.

Realizing D'Argo had asked him a question, he looked back towards him, "What did you say?"

"I asked if you found the location of Katratzi."

"Yeah, but it's a no go for now. Scorpius has never heard of its location. Where's Sikozu?" He began walking towards the door.

D'Argo frowned at him, "Up in Command. What makes you think she'll know if Scorpius does not?"

He put his hands to his face as he stopped walking, "She grew up in Scarran space and she's the only shot Aeryn has at the moment."

He heard D'Argo sigh, "Your hands are shaking...what happened out there?"

Looking at his hands, he saw they were indeed trembling; he quickly lowered them, clenching them into a fist.

"It's complicated..."

"It's always complicated."

"I don't want to talk about it." He said as he left his friend behind.

Sikozu turned as he entered Command, "What did you learn?"

"You grew up around Scarrans. Have you heard of Trilask?"

She was quiet as she looked at him, slowly she shook her head.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, frustration bubbling out in a giggle that rose quickly to hysterical laughter. "Here we have two of the biggest authorities on Scarrans that we could possibly find...and they don't know SHIT!"

He fought back the compulsion to pull out Winona and begin shooting. Everything seemed to keep building up inside as if his head and chest would explode any microt. He needed to move, to do something...anything. He looked around the Command and saw the others had joined him, Sikozu and D'Argo. He saw eyes filled with fear, but couldn't tell if it was fear of him or for him. D'Argo took a step towards him.

"D'Argo...don't. I'm alright. I just need to be alone...to think."

He quickly walked out of the room, letting out a sigh of relief when no one followed him. As he entered his room, he engaged the lock and closed the privacy curtain. Taking off his jacket and holster, he laid them on the bed. He was so tired, but he knew he would never be able to sleep; his mind was still too wired.

Walking into the refresher, he looked in the mirror and saw the reason for his friends` fear. Red rimmed, blood shot eyes stared back at him, he hadn't even realized that tears streaked his face. He ran water in the basin before him, bending down he splashed cold water onto his face.

He looked back up at his reflection, "Hold it together man, hold it together...for Aeryn."

Without thought, he began undressing. Going to the shower, he adjusted the water and stepped under the hot spray. He tried to clear his mind and let the water relax the tense muscles in his neck and shoulders, but he kept thinking of the mixed Chiana and the look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered. "No..." He shook his head, but no matter how he tried, his mind would jump to something else. Aeryn sitting between his legs in Pilot's den giving him the remote. Her smile as she looked up at him just before they kissed. Her whispering `Merry Christmas.' His mouth opened and emitted a scream, a scream that if someone walked past his room at that moment and heard it, would make a them pause and think of a thousand tortured souls. He punched the wall of the shower, embracing the pain that shot through his hand and arm as it cleared his mind. Again and again he hit until he saw the water red with his blood. Sliding his back down the wall, he leaned his head back as he stared at the spots of blood above him. Thankful for at least a few moments of quiet.

He didn't know how long he sat only moving when it suddenly turned cold. Standing, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Not even bothering to dry off, he put on a clean pair of underwear and fell onto the bed, praying for a couple of arns of dreamless sleep.

 


 

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he silently made his way through the corridors. He had managed to actually sleep a full five arns, a record for him these days. Stopping in front of Scorpius` cell, "You said you still have resources...contacts, didn't you?" He asked watching Scorpius working on a set of spent cooling rods.

As one turned from burnt red to ice blue, he said, "Yes, but they are...somewhat limited at the moment as they believe that I am dead." Scorpius looked up at him.

Looking the half breed in the eye, "If it weren't for my promise to Aeryn...you would be."

Scorpius' returned didn't flinch as he returned the gaze, "I believe your right...I have much to thank Officer Sun for in that regards."

Ignoring the other’s comment, he pursed his lips, "Get to work, it's time for you to earn your pay." He turned around before Scorpius could say another word. He felt his stomach growl as he walked the corridors, uncomfortable with the memories to stay in any one place for too long. He realized it had been a couple of days since he had eaten anything. Even the idea of eating made him nauseous, but he knew he had to do it to keep going. As he neared the center chamber, he heard voices speaking softly. Entering the room, he saw Chiana reaching for Rygel's ear as he tried to back his throne sled away.

"Guido trying to talk you out of some of those delicious food cubes again Chi?" He asked as he retrieved his own plate, only giving them a cursory glace.

"Yeah, he just won't learn to keep his hands off..." She answered fidgeting in her seat. He leaned back in his seat and knew she was lying from the way she avoided looking at him as he slowly chewed his food. He started to choke as he tried to swallow, quickly grabbing a cup that was handed to him. A hand patted him on the back. As he caught his breath, he was surprised to see it was Rygel who was leaned over him.

"Are you all right?" The diminutive ex-ruler asked with sincere concern in his voice.

Unable to find his voice, he nodded his head. Without another word, Rygel turned his throne sled around and left the room.

Turning back to Chiana he saw her cocking her head as she looked at him, "This is still hitting everyone hard."

Suddenly he saw Chiana/Aeryn looking up at him, "You don't really want to do this Crichton."

He quickly looked back down at his plate.

She stood and walked over to his side of the table and sat down. "Why won't you look at me?"

"I do look at you." He turned his head to face her, he was relieved that he didn't see the other Chiana.

"What happened on the other Moya? What is it your not telling us?"

His pulse began to pound as she waited for an answer, "Nothing you don't already know Pip." He said softly.

She stared at him for a moment, "No. No, there's something else. This deal with Scorpius...what? All of a sudden he's your best friend."

His eyes narrowed, "He is `not' my friend, only a means in which to find Aeryn."

"You're using him. If he doesn't help you...you what? Kill him? Set him adrift in a pod? Tell me."

"Chiana, there's nothing to tell..."

Suddenly Scorpius' voice came over his comm, "Crichton, may I speak to you for a moment?"

`Thank god for small favors.' He thought as he stood up, he didn't wanted to lie to Chiana.

"I'll be right there." He answered before looking down at Chiana, "Sorry, we'll continue this later. " She nodded sadly, he took her chin in his hand and smiled, "It'll be okay, we'll find her." He let go and left her sitting alone.

 


 

"What do you need Grasshopper?" He asked as he entered Scorpius' cell, he was surprised to see him packing up his cooling rods.

"You planning on going on a vacation?"

Scorpius looked up from the table, "Pilot has informed me we are nearing Scarran controlled space. I have several contacts who may have the necessary information we need to find Officer Sun."

"I hope your not thinking of leaving without me." He said stepping further into the room.

"That was not my intention, but we cannot arrive aboard a Leviathan."

"And...just what `are' your intentions?" He asked scratching the side of his temple.

Closing up one of the cases, Scorpius looked at him, "These contacts are former Peacekeepers, but they still have influence within their ranks. They will want to meet with me before giving away any information."

"So you want me to just willingly leave with you...How far do we get before you start to slice and dice my brain?"

He watched as Scorpius walked towards him, " There is no reason to resort to those extreme measures any longer. You are giving the wormhole technology willingly on the condition I help Officer Sun."

He stared at Scorpius for a moment, his stomach twisting in knots. He didn't trust him, but he was still without a choice.

"I'll get the module ready. " He said turning away, but stopped as he heard, "I'm afraid we will have to leave your module behind and take the prowler. These informants will be expecting Peacekeepers, we cannot arrive in any other type of ship."

"Fine. The Prowler it is then, it'll hold three easier anyways."

 


 

The scanner was bringing up the final read out when he heard D'Argo enter the hanger. He didn't bother to look at his friend to see the worry on his face. "Save your breath D'Argo, you know I have to do this."

"Are you so `desperate' that you would volunteer to step in a trap?"

"You don't understand..."

"What? About obsession, about missing a part of your soul? Yes, I do."

He looked up at his friend, "Yeah...I guess you would at that." Setting the scanner down on the worktable, he picked up his bag and placed it in the cargo hold of the prowler.

"I had Pilot give me a set of coordinates for a rendezvous point, some place safe for all of you. I don't know how long it's going to take us, but I'm coming back with Aeryn."

"And if you don't find her?"

He looked D'Argo in the eye, both thinking the same thing. He noticed as Scorpius joined them, placing his own belongings in the ship as well. Without acknowledging the two men, the half breed climbed into the co-pilot's seat.

"I never thought I would see you leave with Scorpius like this..."

"At least not leading right?" He laughed and absently rubbed his bottom lip with his thumb, "Do to the others know yet?"

"No, I thought you might want a quiet exit."

He patted D'Argo's shoulder, "Thanks D, I appreciate it. I'll contact you in a couple of days before we get out of range."

"My friend, I hope you know what you are doing. " D'Argo looked at the dark figure waiting in the prowler, "I will promise you this. If anything happens to you...'He' will not live long enough to put the knowledge to use."

"I would expect nothing less of you man, you always got my back."

D'Argo gave a small laugh and nodded, "Just hurry and bring her back."

Stopping as he climbed the ladder to the ship, he smiled, "Aye, aye, my Captain."

 


 

Somehow he was not surprised when Scorpius gave him a set of coordinates to a medical facility, but he was surprised at the reason for the stop.

"Your face and name are too well known in this region of space. If we are to obtain any information unhindered...we must alter your appearance."

"Whose fault is that?" He remarked sharply. Taking note that Scorpius ignored the remark as he sat back in his seat after inputting the new coordinates.

When they arrived at their destination, all he saw was an open expanse of space. "Someone has already gave you the wrong info Scorpy, there's nothing here."

"No...I have been here before. Only input this transequence identity code, they will allow us entrance after they verify the information. They are guarded behind a shield that reflects all light...making them invisible to scanners and the naked eye. Wait a few microts, they will contact you once they establish that we are not hostile."

They sat there for what seemed like an arn, the silence in the confined space overwhelming. He jumped as the comm sprang to life, "Welcome Scorpius. You are cleared to land." Suddenly an opening appeared before them.

"Damn, that was better than open sesame." He muttered as he maneuvered the prowler through the opening and into the medical ship's docking bay.

Upon exiting the prowler, they were escorted to the physician who quickly lead them through the medical ship. The staff scrambled out of their way, he heard the whispered muttering of Scorpius' name several times as they passed. No one would look directly at either of them, the fear of Scorpius and Peacekeepers was enough to keep their heads bowed in humility.

Scorpius turned to him once they stopped, "Stay here while I make arrangements."

He didn't like the idea, but he nodded in agreement. The doctor then took Scorpius into what he assumed was an office, leaving him to stand in the dark hallway. As he stood there, the quiet of the hall became oppressive, making him even more on edge. Suddenly a scream broke the silence, he quickly pointed his weapon in the direction the scream came from. After a few moments, he laughed and put away Winona when he realized how ridiculous he looked. At that moment, the door behind him opened and Scorpius exited with the doctor.

"Was there a problem?" Scorpius asked.

"No. No problem, just nerves...you had to be there to understand."

Scorpius looked at the doctor, "Dr. Z'na, when can we begin?"

"Oh, immediately." Dr. Z'na turned to him, looking him up and down. "If you will follow me." Turning the doctor again began leading them.

As Scorpius began to follow, he grabbed the hybrid's arm, "You better make sure `nothing' goes wrong."

"You still have very little faith in me."

"Never have, never will." He said letting go of the arm. "After you..."

His stomach muscles continued to tighten the further they walked down the hall. When they finally arrived at their destination, he was surprised to find two chairs resembling recliners in the center of the room instead of cold surgical steel. His feelings of unease continued as he thought, `Why do they like to use chairs so damn much?'

"If you would be so kind as to remove your outer garments and lay on the chair."

As he began removing his clothes, he looked Z'na, "What exactly are you going to do to me?"

"Nothing to worry about really...I will be injecting you with several different viral strains..."

"Whoa...Like Hell your injecting me with viral anything!" He shot Scorpius a deadly look.

Dr. Z'na raised his hands in a placating gesture, "These are actually dead, but they attach themselves to preordained cell structures. They are then revitalized with an outside catalyst," The doctor held up a small injector. "such as this. Afterwards the change is almost instantaneous and will last up to two arns. You will be able to change your appearance numerous times using it. Unfortunately, your body will flush out the viral strains as your body regenerates new cells. The viral strains will remain in your body for three monens, if your mission lasts longer than this time period, you will have to come back for the procedure again."

He caught onto the fact that Scorpius and told Z'na they were on a secret mission. `That's smart Grasshopper.' He thought.

His attention was brought back by the doctor opening up drawers on the far side of the wall, "I have to warn you, there will be some discomfort during the procedure."

"Why am I not surprised. Okay, let's get this show on the road." He said as he sat back in the chair. He saw Scorpius take a couple of steps backward as the doctor came forward with a tray lined with needles.

"Why needles? Can't you use a hypo spray like everyone else?"

"These are inserted under the skin and must remain there for a short time to allow for the attachment of the viral strains."

Scorpius moved to his side, leaning over, he whispered in his ear. "Show no pain, you are supposed to be a SSD Commando. They are trained to withstand an exorbitant amount of pain."

His eyes glanced quickly in the doctor's direction, "Did you forget? I `haven't' had that training."

He could swear Scorpius' actually smiled at him as he said, "Then you will have to fall back on that resilience that you are so famous for John."

"Yeah...It's easy for you to say that, you're not the one being turned into a pin cushion."

Dr. Z'na pushed the cart holding the needles closer to the chair, "With the needle placement there is an automatic reaction in the limbs, I will unfortunately have to restrain your arms and legs." He said pointing to the straps on the side of the chair.

He resisted the urge to jump up off the chair and run from the room by repeating to himself, `I'm doing this to find Aeryn.' He nodded in agreement.

Z`na`s voice trembled a bit as he spoke, "I wish I could sedate you for this, but unfortunately any anesthetic interferes with the bonding process."

"When it rains, it pours." He mumbled to himself.

Looking at the doctor, he realized the man was terrified of what he might do to him. Nodding his head, he tried to reassure the other, "I understand...You can start now."

Picking up the first needle, the doctor looked at him, "Try and remain as still as possible."

He tried not think about what he was being allowed done to him as he lay on the chair. Trying not to look at Z'na, he was grateful that the doctor was of the non-sadist type that seemed to inhabit this side of the wormhole. The doctor was going out of his way to be as gentle as possible as he inserted the needles. The first two only slightly burned as they pierced the skin.

`This isn't too bad." He thought, but each one after that progressively became worse in their intensity. Soon the muscles began in spasm and the straps had to be tightened on his legs as they broke free.

"These are the last," Z'na said holding a set of much smaller needles, "but these have to go along the face and base of your hairline on the back of your neck."

"Frell! How much longer?!" He tried not to scream as the pain continued to mount.

"Five hundred microts after the last needle I'm afraid."

"Oh God...just hurry and get them in!" He said through gritted teeth as his chest tightened and sweat rolled off of his body. Z'na reached over with a cloth, dabbing the sweat off of his face around the needles.

After the last needle was placed, he saw Scorpius take the doctor out of the room. It felt as if the muscles jerking throughout his body would never end. Soon the spasms began in his face and neck, the sensation feeling as if hundred of bugs crawling along his neck, face and in his hair. If it went on much longer, he thought he would go insane. After an eternity, they finally began to stop. He realized he must have passed out when he woke to the doctor opening up his eyes and checking their responses. He tried to focus them as the straps were released from his arms and legs.

Sitting up, he was relieved to see that Z'na had already removed the needles while he had been unconscious. Swinging his legs over the side of the chair, he noticed his skin continued to sting from the needles. Standing up, his legs gave out from under him and he grabbed hold of the side of the chair.

The doctor quickly came around to his side, "You must rest now while this procedure does not cause harm, your body is weak from the energy it has used to adapt to the changes."

It was an effort for him to even nod in agreement, "Is there some place where I can lay down besides here?"

He was led to the next room, as the doctor pulled a blanket over him, he noticed something was missing. "Where's Scorpius?"

"He asked to use our communications room, that is all I know. I will allow you to sleep for an arn, then I shall bring you food and nutrients. Scorpius wants to leave here as soon as you are capable."

He barely acknowledged the doctor's words as he found himself drifting off to sleep once again.

 


 

He heard the door open slowly, he could tell by the fall of the steps that it was not Scorpius, but he didn't open his eyes.

"Sir, I have brought you some food."

After sitting up on the bed, he leaned against the wall and began eating his meal.

"How are you feeling Sir?" Z'na asked looking at him closely.

"Better...actually, I'm starting to feel real good."

The doctor smiled, "I am very pleased to hear that. When you are ready, there is a mirror on the other side of that door. " He said pointing to a door across the room.

"Ummm...thank you, but why?"

Z'na frowned, "To see the changes, do you not remember?"

He put tray of food down on the bed and reached for his pants. He was surprised when they no longer fit him. "Yes I do, but I didn't they would have happened yet."

"The first occurrence is instantaneous and can last almost six arns, as it is a severe shock to your entire system. The viral strains have inundated themselves into almost every cell of your body. As they acclimate to you...the change will revert back to your original appearance, until you use the catalyst, then it will last for two arns. If there are no more questions...I will inform Scorpius that you are awake."

After the doctor left again, he walked over to the door with the mirror. He had no idea what to expect as he opened the door. He took a step back as a stranger stared back at him. The first thing he noticed was his hair was blond, almost white. His cheeks held a more full expression, he smiled and found it disconcerting to see even his smile was different. The only comfort he found was that his eyes remained the familiar blue, they were the only thing left that reminded him that he was still the same John Crichton he had always been.

His eyes trailed down the rest of his body, taking note his chest, arm and leg muscles were larger. His hand lifted to his chest and confirmed what he already saw in the reflection, it was as hard as a rock.

He noticed Scorpius entering the room.

"My...that is certainly a different appearance."

"Different my ass...It's freaky." He looked down as he shivered. "Can you have some clothes brought here? I seem to have outgrown my regular ones."

"Of course...I have secured a meeting with one of my contacts, it will take place in three solar days."

It gave him the creeps to have Scorpy looking at him in his underwear. He walked over to the bed, wrapping his blanket around him as he sat, "How long will it take to get there?"

"Two days...it will give us some time to work on details.

"What details?"

"They believe I am still associated with the Peacekeepers and you are my subordinate on a covert operation. This is very...delicate. We must tread lightly if we are to succeed."

"You're the boss...in appearance only. Remember that Scorpy."

Nodding his head slightly in agreement, Scorpius turned around and left the room.

 


 

He didn't like it. Not one damn bit, but he was determined that even if he had to walk through fire to find Aeryn, he would. He stood at attention with his eyes forward, playing the good little Peacekeeper soldier as they waited for the contact to make himself known.

He was exhausted; it took every ounce of will power not to sit down. After living with Aeryn for the last four cycles he had picked up quite a bit on how Peacekeepers were suppose to follow orders and their particular protocols, after the last three days he realized what he didn't know squat.

Scorpius had secured transport for the Prowler and themselves with a cargo ship leaving the medical facility. Soon after, he found himself immersed in Peacekeeper's for dummies lessons, with Scorpius as his drill instructor. At one point, the Captain of the cargo ship took Winona from him to keep him from forcibly removing Scorpius' head. He was lucky that several of the crew pulled him back, in his anger he had not noticed that one of the legs had broken loose. The edge of the metal cutting him along the side of his neck, narrowly missing his jugular vein as he and Scorpius fell onto the table. Once he had calmed down, the Captain applied a sealant to the area. Looking at the wound a short time later, he tenderly touched the area knowing would have a faint, but definite scar as a reminder of his lessons.

His attention wandered back to Scorpius, who calmly sipped his drink in silence as they waited. A movement seemed to catch both of their eyes at the same moment, turning his head, he watched as a large bipedal alien approached them. In his mind, he...it reminded him of a cross between cockroach and a chia pet. His hand automatically went for his gun.

"At ease...he is expected." Scorpius said standing to greet the figure.

"Burkil...I am pleased you were able to meet with me."

Burkil's face twitched as he looked from him and back to Scorpius, "Surprised I was to hear from you Scorpius, from my employers reports, you are quite dead and buried on some waste hole of a planet in the Uncharted Territories."

"That is as it should be in order for my mission to be completed...I have need of your unique services."

"And what do you require?" He asked sitting down at the table.

Smiling at the creature, Scorpius smiled, "Information...sensitive information."

"Of course...if you have the currency. I will provide you with whatever information you need."

Pulling out a data chip, Scorpius placed it on the table, "This contains the details that I require. You will be suitably paid for any difficulties you encounter."

 


 

He continued to play the obedient Peacekeeper soldier for days awaiting the news. They were going on their third day when he heard the footsteps, it was late in the sleep cycle so it was not hard to notice when the steps stopped in front of their door. Lifting his head, his grip tightened on the handle in his hand. He saw out of the corner of his eye that Scorpius heard as well and had sat up as a data chip was slipped under the door and their midnight visitor made a hasty retreat.

Standing up, he walked over to the door and picked it up. Looking at the object in his hand, it took him a moment to realize his hand lightly shook in fear of the information it contained.

Lifting his head up, he tossed the chip to Scorpius, "You do the honors." Walking over he sat on the edge of the table, "It's a given that it will be in a language that I don't know."

"Of course..." Scorpius replied as he set up the reader. The data was in Sebacean and while he was not as proficient in the language as he would like, he could read it. The only problem was Scorpius was reading the information a lot faster, and he couldn't keep up.

Watching as Scorpius continued to scroll down the screen, soon he saw two sets of schematics appear. The screen moved no further as Scorpius' eyes remained fixed on the figures, apparently memorizing every detail.

His impatience got the better of him, "What in the hell does it say? Do we have the location of Trilask?" Taking a step back, he pulled out Winona and pointed it at Scorpius' head.

Turning slowly towards him, Scorpius eyed the weapon pointed at him and said, "It appears we have reached an impasse, or rather I should say my contact was unable to verify the information any further...He has received conflicting reports."

"Conflict...How?" He couldn't keep the anger from creeping into his voice.

"This report shows that Commandant Grayza arrived at Katratzi twenty solar days ago to attend a peace conference with Emperor Staleek. While she was in attendance, A Captain Janeek arrived with a pregnant Sebacean matching Officer Sun's description..."

"Dammit, what does it say about her, how..."

Scorpius held up his hand silencing him, "All it states is that she was still alive upon arrival. Shortly afterwards, Grayza broke off negotiations and returned to her Command Carrier stating that the Scarrans would not conform to the criteria for treaty. Several of her men rescued Officer Sun. Her last report showed that Sun is the key to your capture and the wormhole technology."

He began to pace the room, unsure what his next step would be. Lost in his own thoughts, he almost missed what Scorpius said next.

"Staleek is also claiming to the Scarran Hierarchy that he still holds Officer Sun. Stating they released the pregnancy stasis of the fetus and will soon be able to extract the secrets to wormholes from the fetal DNA."

Scorpius gave him a sideways look and smiled, "Congratulations...you're going to be a father."

As if a shot from a cannon was fired in the quiet of the close quarters, he found himself across the room, his hands around Scorpius' throat. It gave him some satisfaction to see the look of surprise in Scorpius' eyes, lifting up Winona once more and shoved it against the freaks throat. He knew he was screwing his only chance, but he was unable to control himself.

Scorpius represented everything that had gone wrong in his life since he had arrived. Peacekeeper and Scarran, opposite sides of the same evil fucking coin. All he could see was an opportunity to eliminate a thorn in his side.

"You...you are the cause of all of this. You couldn't leave me...us, alone to live in peace. No, you have to have it all, for your glorious Peacekeepers. Now because of you..." He pushed the pistol harder against Scorpius' throat, his finger squeezing slowly on the trigger, "Because of you, Aeryn and my child are going die!" His pulse pounded in his whole body. It would be so easy to pull the trigger. He had all of the information on the chip; he could easily go back to Moya and somehow come up with a plan to rescue Aeryn.

Squeezing tighter on the trigger, Scorpius' eyes narrowed as they locked onto his own, "Crichton, remember this before you kill me...How will you infiltrate Katratzi? Both the Peacekeepers `and' the Scarrans claim to be holding Officer Sun."

His breath came in short, ragged gasps as he tried to control his anger. Dammit, he hated when the bastard was right and he eased his finger off of the trigger. Stepping back, he asked, "What do you have in mind Grasshopper?" He holstered his weapon, his hands clenching open and closed as he began pacing the room. He needed to go...now, before it was too late.

"You must calm yourself. It will not benefit either of us if you rush off and get yourself killed."

Watching as Scorpius reached into his own bag, he was surprised to see the Prowlers med kit. Scorpius opened it and removed something, which he held out his hand.

"What is it?"

"A mild tranquilizer, your emotions are too high at the moment. I need for you to remain calm if we are too discuss our next step."

Looking from Scorpius' hand back up to his face, "No thanks...talk."

Sighing, Scorpius sat down at the table, "Neither of us can afford to be seen at either location, but with your change in appearance along with the correct codes, you can infiltrate the Command Carrier. Which I believe you have an affinity for..."

"And what do you plan on doing as I'm hanging my ass out in the wind?" He smiled inwardly as he saw Scorpius grimace at the expression.

"I will go to Katratzi." Pausing, Scorpius and stood faced him, "before you say anything. Hear me out..."

"I did not reveal all of my history to you on the Command Carrier. I have secretly been in the service of Emperor Staleek for the past ten cycles as a spy against the Peacekeepers, while in fact I have been giving him false information. I will contact him...stating I have imperative information to your whereabouts and will request a meeting with him."

A bitter laugh escaped his lips, "So you want to split up? You actually trust me enough to keep my part of the bargain. Which causes me to ask...If Aeryn is still in Katratzi, how do I know you'll keep your end?"

"Crichton...you possess the one thing that I have desperately been searching for. Do you actually believe...that I would not find you once I had Aeryn Sun in my company?"

Sighing in resignation, he looked into the Scorpius` eyes, "I need codes and whatever else you can think of that will get me onto that carrier."

"Of course...I will contact Burkil once more and see that you have all of the necessary documentation. I will think of a name to go with your new appearance." Scorpius said as he walked towards the door of their room.

"I have a name that you can give them." A smile played on his lips as he said the words.

"Very well...if luck is on our sides, we should be able to depart within the next few solar days." Scorpius opened the door, leaving him alone.

"When in the frell did we ever have luck on our sides?" He said to the empty room around him.

 


 

"Come on...I know you can make it." He toggled the switch a couple more times, the engines fired back into life only to quickly fade once more into silence.

"You frelling piece of shit, you wouldn't do this if Aeryn were at the controls..."

Looking down at the controls, he was thankful he had not lost complete power along with the engines. The radar controls responded to his touch as he fell through the planet's atmosphere, he spotted a moderately sized city on the surface.

Tightening his fist around the throttle, he sent up a little prayer as he touched the vertical control thrusters, hoping the fact they were still lit up meant that they still functioned. He smiled as they fired.

"Unknown vessel, state your desired location and business."

"My engines have failed and I have to set this bucket of dren down anywhere I can."

"Do you have any controls?"

"Minor control with my thrusters, but as stated...no main engines."

"We are sending you a safe landing vector, someone will meet you to facilitate repairs."

"Your assistance is appreciated." He said sliding into Peacekeeper mode. He was in the heart of their controlled space. His every move would be watched as he moved around the Sebaceans here.

He cleared his mind as the Prowler dropped beneath the cloud cover. The surface quickly began to loom in front of him. He quickly began making adjustments to his thruster controls, his movements becoming automatic as it reminded him of coming in at a dead stick landing on Earth.

"Your landing area has been marked out for you, only follow the transmitted signal."

"I have it in sight, approaching now."

Adjusting his trajectory, he watched as several men cleared from his path on the ground. Bringing up the breaking thrusters as he felt the Prowlers wheels touch the ground, soon he felt the ship come to a stop when the docking web latched on to halt further movement. Opening the hatch, he breathed a sigh of relief as he climbed down the ladder.

Turning around, he saw a group of three Peacekeepers approach, he leaned back and crossed his arms against his chest with a confidence he did not feel.

"Rank...assignment." Barked the one in the lead.

`It's official,' he thought, `that's how they say hello.'

"Not here. I have to secure repairs for my vessel then we will speak." He said turning away from the three, he knew they would have a look of shock on their faces. They were low ranking soldiers, not much more than grunts, they only did as they were told, but he knew they would be persistent.

"Rank! Assignment!" Came the voice behind him. Turning slowly and approaching the ranking officer, he stared the man in the eye, "When an obvious superior officer states to you that he cannot disclose his assignment in an unsecured location, you wait. Is that understood Officer?" He growled.

The three men standing before him immediately snapped to attention, three voices rang out, "Yes Sir!"

"I will deal with you `after' I make arraignments for repairs." He turned away knowing they wouldn't give him any more problems until he was done with the mechanics.

 


 

Grabbing Winona automatically as the knock on the door rousted him from his unsound sleep. Jumping out of bed, he stood with his back to the wall next to the door as the knock came again.

"Who is it?" He asked gruffly.

"Lieutenant Monkel."

He didn't open the door, but tightened his grip on the pistol, "What is this regarding Lieutenant?"

The voice filtered through the door, "The incident with my men earlier in the day Sir."

Unlocking the door, he answered, "You may enter." As the door opened, he took a step back.

Lieutenant Monkel looked at the weapon in his hand, "Are you expecting trouble Sir?"

"One must always be prepared." He answered holstering his weapon, "You wanted to speak to me regarding your men..."

Lieutenant Monkel held out a data pad, " Yes...I am requesting for your signature on the discipline report, as you are currently Senior Officer on this station."

"Lieutenant, you were present when my ident chip was verified were you not?"

"Yes Captain."

"What security level do I hold?" He stared at the questioning look on the Lieutenant's face.

"Decca Five Beta."

"And what does that mean...Lieutenant?" He asked stepping closer.

"That...you are...not here Sir."

"That is correct, if it were not for the emergency repairs to my ship I would not have remained here." Walking over to the table against the far wall, he removed two glasses from the shelf above and filled each glass halfway with the unknown liquor.

"As I am not here, I can see no reason to sign a discipline report against your men, " He said turning, handing a glass to the Lieutenant, "Am I understood?"

"Certainly Captain, I am sure the men will appreciate it."

He knew he was taking a chance with `un-PK-like' behavior, but he needed this Lieutenant on his side if he wanted to get out of here without any incident, and he needed some information.

Staring at his glass for a moment, rotating it in his fingers as if in deep thought, "Monkel...I have to ask a favor."

"Anything Sir, " Came the quick response.

The edges of a smile touched his lips, "I have been out of communications range for several weekens, " He looked up at the other man, "This doesn't leave this room...understand."

"Yes Sir!"

"What news have you had concerning Commandant Grayza?"

"News Sir?"

"Yes, news...last communication stated she was arriving in Scarran space for a peace treaty."

"Negotiations failed, but she did capture Officer Sun and is expecting to capture John Crichton at any time."

"Thank you Lieutenant, as soon as my repairs are completed, I shall be leaving.

"Of course Sir. Will there be anything else Sir?"

"You are dismissed."

The Lieutenant looked at his empty glass, hesitating for a moment, then stepped forward and put his glass on the table. He kept his face passive as he was quickly saluted and then left alone.

Locking the door, `Well, at least I know I'm on the right track,' he thought as he laid back down on the bed.

 


 

"Captain, you are cleared to land in docking bay six." The disembodied voice responded through his comm system.

"Acknowledged..."

His hand shook as the contents of the hypo spray took effect, squeezing it tightly. Climbing out of the Prowler, he began looking for the escort he knew would be waiting for him.

As they made eye contact, the Corporal maintained his rigid stance; "Captain Braca is awaiting you in his quarters Sir."

"Very well, take me to him."

Keeping his eyes forward, he walked with a confidence in his step he did not feel as the Corporal led him through three levels, stopping in front of a doorway.

"Captain Braca, I have Captain Solo here."

"See him in..."

Stepping through the door, he was surprised to see Braca's quarters. While they remained opulent by the conditions he was accustomed to, they reflected the Captain's efficiency down to the minute detail. It appeared Braca didn't need trophy possessions to remind him of his status aboard the ship.

The good Captain remained sitting at his desk finishing up his work for a few microts before closing down the screen in front of him.

Standing up, the man quickly closed the distance between the two of them, "Captain Solo, and what do I owe for the circumstances of this visit?"

Looking behind him to the Corporal, he said, "Red One priority." Saluting, the Corporal quickly turned and left the two men alone. As the doors shut, he looked Braca in the eye and slowly walked around the room, "You don't recognize me do you?"

"No, should I?" Braca answered, his voice showing a trace of surprise at the question.

"I definitely recognize `you' Captain, you're abilities as a Peacekeeper have reached quite far." Turning his head slightly, he watched Braca's reaction to his next pointed jab. " I understand that you have spent the last cycle working `under' Commandant Grayza...how is she?" He enjoyed seeing Braca's face turned various shades of red at the obvious implications of the question, but knew that his enjoyment had to be short-lived, he had to get Aeryn off of this boat and fast.

"Never mind the question." Reaching into his pocket and pulled out the data chip that Scorpius had prepared and gave it to Braca who returned to his desk. He watched as the surprise crossed his temporary ally's face.

"Crichton...you are...completely insane."

Tucking his thumbs into his belt, "I have the Peacekeepers to thank for that. Where is she?"

"She?"

His jaw tightened as he stepped forward, "I know it's a stretch for that tiny brain of yours to form a coherent thought...especially without Scorpy to do it for you. Where. Is. Aeryn? I know she's here." With each word he spoke, he felt his anger grow.

Braca stared at him for a moment before he began to back away, "She is with Commandant Grayza. Ten solar days ago, Grayza received a coded message from High Command. Within two arns, she had relinquished command to me and left with Officer Sun."

"What's her condition?"

"She was in good health when she taken aboard the Marauder."

"How many men did Grayza have with her?"

"Twenty...plus her personal guard."

Noticing Braca's hesitation at the last question, he asked, "What is it your not telling me?"

"They filed no flight plan before departure."

It felt as if Braca's words were a physical blow, knocking all of the air out of his lungs. He stared at him for a few microts, "What?"

"It's standard procedure for ranking officers on classified missions."

He ran his fingers through his hair, "Okay, I'm going to need something with more fuel if I'm going to try and track Grayza...I need a Marauder. Can you show me how to fly one?"

The look on Braca's face would have been funny to him if he had been in different circumstances.

"Crichton, there is no way you can learn to fly one in just a few short arns."

"Just show me the basics...I can figure it out from there."

Sighing in resignation, Braca did as he wanted and ordered one of the lower hangers cleared of men. "You'll end up killing yourself long before you find Sun, Crichton."

"Don't you wish. Come on Mrs. Crabtree, we need to get school underway." Turning around, he didn't even wait to see if Braca was coming,

Walking in silence, he noticed the little side glances that Braca kept giving him. Knowing it was the different appearance that caused this, he didn't say anything to the man. Hell, he couldn't even look in a mirror when he was like this; it freaked him out too much. As they entered the hanger, he stopped and looked at the line of Marauders before him. As much as he hated to admit it, they were absolutely beautiful. He could see why Aeryn had dreamt of flying them before he had dropped into her life. What he couldn't believe was the fact that he about to be allowed to fly one out the Command Carrier with Braca's `blessing', all on Scorpy's say so.

Staring at the Marauders, he asked, "Tell me something, why did she take so many men with her?"

"As I said, she took her personal guard and a contingent of four Marauders."

"But why? Twenty, thirty men? All for guarding one woman."

Braca looks at him incredulously, "Who is a trained Peacekeeper Commando, but more importantly they are to ensure that she does not fall back into Scarran hands."

He couldn't stop the chuckle that erupted from his throat, "So Grayza's afraid that Aeryn is going to kick her ass. Well, she's going to have to worry about a whole helluva lot worse when I get my hands on the bitch."

Braca turned away from him without comment, leading him to one of the Marauders. After looking at a data pad, he said, "This one has been cleared by the techs."

Sitting down at the controls, he noticed Braca staring at him, "What?"

"You understand you will most likely kill yourself trying to fly this. Only the best Prowler pilots are capable of handling a Marauder."

"Oh that would just break your heart wouldn't it? I learned to fly your equipment from the best Prowler pilot, I'll be able to fly it." He looked down at the controls, "Now let get started."

The next several arns were spent at a feverish pace, he felt as if his brains were turning into Jell-O from all of the information Braca drilled into him. If he didn't know better, he would think the Captain was actually worried about him. Only after seeming to be satisfied that he wouldn't kill them both, Braca ordered all Prowlers back onto the carrier for possible evidence of sabotage.

By the time they finished late into the sleep cycle, his movements had become almost automatic as they ran through the various control sequences need to fly the ship. Finally fatigue began to wear on him as he begrudgingly admitted he needed to land the ship once more, but he didn't feel comfortable sleeping on the Command Carrier and he wanted to leave as soon as he could.

Walking back to his prowler, he noticed Braca staring at him, "What?" He asked grabbing the other man's arm.

"Nothing." Braca said pushing his arm away, "Let's get your things, I want you off my ship before someone finds out there is no 'Captain Solo' in High Command."

Reaching out, he straightened Braca's collar, "I need the possible trajectories that Grayza could have taken."

"While you were on one of your 'breaks' to the refresher, I had them downloaded to the ships computer. There are also weapons being loaded into the armory as we speak. I am assuming you are familiar with them."

"Yeah...I've gotten `real' good at using them."

"Good, you are going to need them if you are going to face thirty commandos. There should be a sufficient amount for your 'friends' as well."

Sighing, he looked the Captain in the eye, "They're not here...this is all my ballgame."

"Your...your alone? Going against...You do have a death wish Crichton."

"What ever it takes, what ever the cost. I will...get Aeryn back, but I will not endanger my friends."

"I can't believe Scorpius allied himself to this...insanity."

"Scorpius didn't have any choice." He left the rest unspoken, knowing that brown-noser that Braca was, the man knew Scorpius would only ally himself to one cause.

"You're giving him..."

He left Braca standing with his mouth dropped as he continued on to the Prowler.

 


 

It began to feel as if he would never find Grayza's ships; he had already searched several possible vectors and hadn't turned up a single hint that the Marauders had been through the area. His already frayed nerves stared bleary-eyed at the monitor in front of him.

Attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes, he dreaded the idea of getting any sleep. It seemed just about every time he laid his head down, his mind would conjure up something that left him shaking.

Suddenly his head fell backwards as his eyes closed, jerking it back up, he stood up and shook his head, "Yeah...definitely time for a little sleep."

Checking on the autopilot and his defense system one more time, he went back to his quarters.

 


 

"What are you doing?" Turning in the doorway towards Aeryn's voice, he lost his breath when he saw her. Her eyes mere slits, sleep giving them a heavy appearance, her hair fanned out across the pillow.

She smiled at him, "I asked you a question John."

He took a step into the room, "Oh nothing, I was looking for you." He said as he approached the bed. Kneeling down on the floor, he took her hand, "I've missed you."

Aeryn's smile caused his heart to begin racing, "I've been right here, waiting for you."

"This is a dream...just another dream. You come to me a lot you know."

Nodding her head, "Bring me my clothes off of the shelf." She said pointing to the folded pile.

Standing up, he did as she asked, "I'm doing everything I can to really find you Aeryn. There is just something not right...missing from me when you're gone..." Turning with the clothes in his hand, they instantly dropped to the floor when he saw her on the bed. Aeryn had thrown the blanket off of her body revealing she was lying in a pool of blood that was congealing on the mattress.

The room suddenly took on a red hue, looking to the lights, his breath caught when he saw they were beginning to fill with blood. Soon the liquid began to seep over the sides of the fixtures and pour down the wall and pool on the floor.

Taking a step backward, he shook his head in defiance of the image before him, "No. Don't do this, not now."

Climbing off of the bed, the blood ran in tiny streams down her legs from the ragged incision that ran vertical across her stomach. Aeryn held out her hands to him, "Come here John..."

"Who did this to you?" He whispered.

"No one...you did, does it matter?"

Swallowing roughly, "It matters to me." His chest constricting as she came towards him.

"You are running out of time John." Holding her arms straight out to her sides, "This is what will happen if you don't find me...us."

She walked closer to him, leaving a trail of bloody footprints on the floor. He couldn't help himself; he wanted to help her...to stop the bleeding, to hold her. Instead he found himself backing away from her because it was that same blood that terrified him. Looking to the doors of the room, he moved toward them. Just as he reached the entrance they slid shut. Waving his hand in front of the sensor, he was not surprised to find that it didn't work. Turning back, he saw that Aeryn...or the image of Aeryn was only a couple of feet away from him.

"You have to hurry John, but be smart. Grayza won't be expecting you to come after her just yet. Especially alone, take advantage of that." As she reached upwards to touch his face, he saw the blood dripping from her hands.

His body shook, pressing up against the door as he slid down it, suddenly it opened and he felt two hands grab his shoulders and pull him out of the room. A sense of shock filling him as the door shut again quickly once his legs were clear. He could see Aeryn standing just on the opposite side, sadness etched into her eyes. Slowly she shook her head, turning her back to him and walking away. The feelings inside of him were a mix of relief and heartbreak as he watched her sit down on the blood covered bed and begin to cry.

Twisting his head to look up at the person who grabbed him, the bottom of his stomach dropped, "Harvey? You're not dead."

His eyes followed the apparitions face as he crouched down to his level, Harvey's teeth showed as he gave a cadaverous smile, "Of course I am...this is a but a dream. I am only one more aspect of that...as is she." Holding out his hand, Harvey grabbed his own and lifted him up.

"Great..." He whispered turning his back to Harvey, he placed his hands on the grate of the door and looked into the room. The blood that had poured from the light fixtures was now completely covering the floor, he watched as crept closer to him. Aeryn didn't move as it touched her own skin; she was oblivious to her surroundings.

"John...she will not notice the blood, she's a figment of your subconscious."

"So are you, but you still see it."

He felt the hands on his shoulders a microt before Harvey spun him around, "That is because...I know what it means. You have to have strength in your resolve to find her...or this is her future. In Peacekeeper hands...she will find herself forever alone, childless, weeping in a cell for her lost lover once more. Look at her John..."

Turning his head back towards the cell, the room was now completely bare. His legs collapsed beneath him at the sight of Aeryn, lying in the center of the bloodied floor, battered and bruised.

Waving his hand over the sensor, he became angry when it didn't open, "Open this door Harvey. Now!"

"John, remember...I'm not really here...you are the only one that can open this door."

Suddenly the door opened before him, crawling forward, he couldn't stop the involuntary shiver that passed through him once he touched the blood. Quickly, he made his way to Aeryn's form lying on her side shaking, her lips and eyes swollen. Picking her up, he cradled her head against his shoulder.

Pushing the matted hair from her face, he whispered, "It's okay baby...I'm coming to get you."

She groaned as she tried to open her eyes, but he could see that the swelling was too bad, "John...please find me. Do...whatever it takes."

He couldn't control the sob that burst from him, "I...I will baby, you'll see. Nothing will stop me from finding you."

Laying his head against Aeryn's, he noticed a chill come over him as he heard a baby's distant crying. The chill in his body echoed what he felt in his heart as he thought of what the Scarrans and Peacekeepers did to Aeryn and the baby. Abruptly the baby's cries ended at the same moment Aeryn disappeared from his arms. He was the only thing left in the room, sitting in a lake of blood.

"No!!!" He sat up in bed, sweat soaking him and his sheets. Rubbing his eyes, he couldn't rid himself of the images that seemed to be etched into his mind. Swinging his legs over the side bed, his hand shook as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Great, now my own brain is frelling with me."

His body jerked at the sound of a baby's distant cry, it continued for several microts before it abruptly ended. Taking a deep breath, he tried to stop slight tremor in his body.

"Don't worry Aeryn, I'll find you...nothing is going to stop me."

The cries began once more as he finished dressing, each small wail tearing away another piece of his heart. Walking into the galley he sat eating the handful of food cubes he had grabbed, taking another sip of his drink he tried to shake the images from his latest nightmare from his mind.

An alarm sounding from the front of the ship startled him from his thoughts, jumping up quickly, he ran to the command. Sitting down at the pilot controls, he began checking the ship's systems and found he had a message waiting for him. His hand hovered over the control for a moment, dreading what could only possibly be bad news.

`Come on dammit, you've got to find out sooner or later,` he thought. Touching the button, Braca's voice filled the small space, "I have located Commandant Grayza for you. You will find the coordinates for her next location embedded into this transmission. Be advised, she has orders to bring Officer Sun to High Command at no matter the cost. You have an advantage here Crichton. You now know the limitations of Marauders; they are a fully loaded compliment...while you are not. You have speed on your side, use it." The transmission abruptly ended, then began to repeat a digital transmission into the computer.

Quickly, he began adjusting his coordinates. After checking the charts, he realized it would take him only four days to reach their location, maybe even arriving before them if he pushed his engines to their max.

Walking into the cargo hold, he looked at the array of weapons that Braca had given him. He had spent the last monen alone with only his thoughts and fears to keep him company during his search. There were only a few things he could do while he searched, and sleep was not one of them. He felt an urgency pulsate through him as he began learning every dench of the weapons at his disposal. Going through the manuals he found, he began timing himself as he field stripped each weapon. Testing himself, trying to beat his own best time. If he was not working with the weapons, he was working out, trying hard to both keep his body in shape and work himself into exhaustion so his mind would shut down, giving him more than only two or three arns of sleep.

Each day passed at a crawl, microt by microt drawing into arns. He hoped, prayed that he would find her in time. Now it seemed he just might be looking at that light at the end of the tunnel he had been searching for.

 


 

He stood watching his reflection as the changes completed. He hated watching this, but he needed to be sure he couldn't be recognized before he located where Grayza was keeping Aeryn, that was even if they were still on this planet. He didn't like that he had been unable to find anything on the scans before landing. He stared at his reflection, searching for anything that remained of John Crichton, a twinge of regret stabbed at his heart when he didn't. Checking Winona one last time, he stepped out of his ship and into the busy spaceport.

Aliens of various shapes and sizes passed him by, which was not unusual for this type of planet. What he almost had trouble adjusting to during these rare trips planet side was the fact that the residents in this area of space barely gave him a glance; he was only another Peacekeeper on business. He had become so accustomed to the dirty looks and veiled threats over the past four cycles, that if he had been here for any other reason, he might have been able to relax for a few days without worry.

"Are you looking for the others Sir?" Quickly turning, he found the source of the voice. He nodded his head at the elderly Sebacean man who stood before him, "Yes, where can I locate them?" For some reason it unnerved him that the old man kept staring at the insignia on his uniform.

"There are several in the tavern three metras that way." The man replied pointing toward the right, "You will find accommodations there as well."

"Thank you." He said as he started in the direction the old man had indicated.

"If you need anything Sir, ask for Quixtax and they will summon me."

"I will...

 


 

He heard them before he even entered into the building; atypical of the majority of Peacekeepers he had seen. Their loud laughter could be heard two motras down the street. Entering through the door, he barely gave them a glance as he walked up to the bar and ordered a Raslak. He noticed the men had fallen silent when they saw him. Listening, he heard a chair scoot across the floor, and then footsteps approach him.

"Sir!"

Turning his head slightly, he looked at the soldier standing beside him, "Rank...assignment."

"Officer Blarta, currently unassigned and awaiting transport Sir."

"All of you?" He asked looking at the man's companions.

"Yes Sir, we were relieved of duty due to inactivity in this sector."

Raising his eyebrows at this information, "This sector is inactive? And just who was your commanding officer to make this determination at a time such as this?"

"Commandant Grayza, Sir."

He looked the man in the eye wondering if he was drunk enough to get more information out of him. Seeing the man's clear eyes reflecting back at him, he realized they had only just begun drinking when he arrived.

"Grayza you say...In that case, you men are lucky to have made it away with your mivonks intact." Slapping the man on the shoulder, he said, "Let me buy you a drink."

Walking over to the table, the other men jumped to attention, "At ease gentlemen, I've been traveling for over a monen with only the walls for company, sit down...continue with your conversation."

Sitting down at the table, he waved to the bartender ordering more drinks. Leaning back in his chair, he listened as each bragged about past engagements and battles. Biding his time, he stared at his glass, waiting for when they were more at ease with his presence before bringing up their assignment with Grayza.

"Sir? Are you alright?" Officer Blarta asked.

Looking up at the question, "Yes, I don't like to talk that much really. Tell me of your assignment with our good Commandant.

"It was actually the easiest assignment we have ever had..." Blarta paused as he took another drink, `...babysitting a traitor. One that is pregnant with a half-breed bastard child at that."

Instead of knocking Blarta's teeth down his throat like he wanted to, he threw back the rest of the contents of his glass.

The officer directly across from him laughed, "At least she knows what it means to be with a Sebacean man now."

He looked up sharply at the man, "What did you say?"

"I said, she now knows what a real Sebacean man..." He didn't let the soldier finish. Jumping up, he pulled Winona...the first blast turning the officer's face into nothing more than pulsating mush. Officer Blarta and a third officer pulled their weapons. Throwing his glass, he shattered it in Blarta's face, firing at the third man. The last two men didn't even get a chance to pull their weapons as he shot them. Looking down, he searched for any signs of movement.

Ignoring the shouts of fear from the other customers as they ran from the room, he bent down, grabbing Blarta by the collar of his coat. Pulling him up, he threw him on top of the blood-covered table. Picking up a bottle of alcohol lying on the floor, he poured the contents on the man's cut face, waking him.

"Where is she?" He growled.

There was no response, except for a moan from the semi-conscious man. "Coordinates, base name, anything..." He screamed lifting up Blarta and slamming him back down onto the tabletop. The edges of his vision faded with the rage he couldn't control each time Blarta shook his head in denial of any knowledge.

"Who are...you?" Blarta asked through bleeding and swollen lips.

"You have Aeryn Sun...who the frell do you think I am?" His teeth clenched as he said the words.

Blarta's eyes widen in surprise, "John...Crichton..."

"I'm going to ask you one more time, if I don't like the answer, you're going to be joining your drinking buddies here on the floor. Now...Where is Aeryn SUN!!"

Slowly, Blarta reached into his pocket, pulling out a data chip.

"What's this?"

"Give to...unit...commander...for Captain."

Grabbing the chip out of the other's hand, he looked at the bartender, "Do you have a data reader?"

The bartender nodded his head and pointed to the door behind him. Picking up Blarta, he dragged the half conscious Peacekeeper through the door, knowing his time was growing short and the authorities should be arriving any microt.

Looking back at the bartender, "You...with me."

The man quickly brushed past him into the room. Giving the data chip to him, he said, "Play it." as he shifting Blarta's weight and laid him on the floor.

The screen unfolded before them, and then stopped, "It won't play without the proper code." The bartender said with fear of retaliation obvious in his eyes.

His mind began to race, so taking a deep breath; he tried to remember one of the codes Scorpius had him memorize. After a moment, he began entering in what he hoped was the correct sequence. The display folded in on itself and quickly reappeared. Smiling, he began to scroll through and finding the information that he needed.

Shutting down the machine, he grabbed the chip and looked at the frightened man next to him, "If you know what's good for you...you never saw this. I don't even have it, understand?"

The man quickly nodded his head.

"I hope you do, the Peacekeepers like to make people who know sensitive information disappear."

"That's why you brought me in here?"

"Actually no, I wasn't sure you would shoot me in the back. I'm sorry for scaring you...just don't say anything about it and you should be fine."

The bartender quickly picked up the data reader and smashed it against the floor; "My reader has been broken for several weekens now."

"Good man, now I suggest you clean this blood out of this room before someone arrives." He said before reaching down and grabbing Blarta's feet and dragging the man back over to where the others lay.

For a moment he considered letting the officer live, but then he realized that once Blarta regained consciousness...he would tell his superiors the whereabouts of the chip, causing Grayza to quickly change her itinerary. Kneeling down on the floor, he grabbed both sides of the man's head and gave a quick twist. Closing his eyes as the snap sounded through the silent room, the only thought in his mind, `For Aeryn...'

 


 

Running through the street, he prayed that no one from the tavern would recognize him before he reached his ship. Stopping when he saw the old Sebacean Quixtax talking to what could only be the local law enforcement, he quickly ducked into the nearest doorway. Quixtax knew which ship was his and as he watched the interaction he just knew any chance for getting off the planet without trouble was shot to hell.

He watched with surprise as Quixtax point in the opposite direction of his ship and bowed to the men before walking in his direction. As the man drew up even with him, he let out a whistle, catching his attention.

"Why did you send them off like that?"

Quixtax looked him in the eye; "You killed Peacekeepers...I don't like Peacekeepers, so I help you."

"How do you know I'm not a Peacekeeper who likes to kill for the fun of it?"

"When we spoke earlier...you look like a Peacekeeper, but said thank you. Peacekeeper Captains do not say thank you to one such as I."

He stared at Quixtax for a moment, then patted the man on the shoulder, "Thank you again."

"You must hurry, they will be returning soon."

Nodding his head, he turned out of the doorway and ran to his ship. Without bothering with the pre-flight sequence, lifted off and prayed until he was out of range that there were no patrolling ships searching for him yet.

 


 

He continued to pound the training dummy, trying to work out his frustrations, cursing the gods and fate. Once he was sure he wasn't being followed, he searched the data chip for Grayza's next destination. The information was incomplete, it only gave him their next scheduled location, but not when they were scheduled to arrive. The way he figured, it would take him at least three days to get there.

The chip did contain something else, something he wished he hadn't seen. It was Aeryn's interrogation by a Lieutenant Relok. The scene playing over and over in his mind as he watched the man hit Aeryn again and again while she was bound to a chair. Her refusal to answer the Lieutenant's questions resulted in her eyes and lips swelling. It went on for what seemed an eternity until Grayza appeared in the room demanding a report. She walked over and grabbed Aeryn's chin, lifting her head, Grayza informed the Lieutenant that the interrogation could not continue, as she didn't want to chance damaging the fetus. Before leaving the room, Grayza ordered a medic to come and repair Aeryn's wounds.

Stopping for a moment, he walked over and retrieved his water trying to catch his breath. His thoughts drifted to the Peacekeepers he had killed only a few arns before and their laughter after they commented on raping Aeryn. He knew he was just being naive, but never thought they had it in them. It was one aspect of the Peacekeepers Aeryn had never mentioned, but she was not part of a front unit. There was a definite possibility that she had not known what they were capable of since she ran in different circles, Pilots and ground units usually stuck to their own kind. Tales of raping prisoners would not be shared in the officer's lounge and made common knowledge.

Images fluttered across his mind, Aeryn restrained while trying to fight off the attack until she couldn't keep them away any longer...her arms bound while her attackers loomed over her body, ...bruises soon began to mar her beautiful face. His vision darkened around the edges and his heart began to race as he tried to shake the thoughts from his mind. Turning back to the training dummy, he began hitting it once more. With each blow, he envisioned Lieutenant Relok's face; he was going to make sure the bastard suffered...slowly.

The soft cries of a child touched his ears, causing him to stop his exertions. Speaking softly to a child only he could hear, "Don't worry, he's going to pay, they all are."

 


 

A crash of thunder diverted his attention skyward as he waited on top of the building. These were the last...they had to be. Faces had begun to blend one into another. Each one a mask of death as they fell before him.

The thud of footsteps caused him to turn his attention back to the street below. Picking up his pulse rifle, he aimed it at the unsuspecting men marching through the center of the street. `Son of a bitch,' he thought as a sudden influx of civilians filled the street, hesitating as the troops moved closer to his position.

His jaw clenched as he recognized Lieutenant Relok. Taking a deep breath, he stopped himself from opening fire just then on the Peacekeeper that had interrogated Aeryn for arns with Grayza's permission. He had spent a long time imagining how he was going to pay Relok back for every cut and bruise he had inflicted upon Aeryn.

Staring at the men, he saw that he had a clear shot. Just as he squeezed the trigger, a young woman crossed into his line of fire, jerked his arm up, his shot went wide missing its intended target. The streets suddenly filled with screams of fear and he watched as men and women scrambled with their children, running for cover. The Peacekeeper unit began firing randomly trying to flush out their attackers. Finding his path clear, he began firing at the unit down in the street. It took them several microts before they realized that he was shooting from up above. He saw Relok run, trying to find better cover. He focused his attention on the retreating figure, not giving the man any relief.

He had chosen the building tops for several reasons, one was the superior vantage point during the coming confrontation, another was he could not be easily seen from the ground and the last being the buildings were only set a motra apart. Lieutenant Relok ran, ducking behind whatever obstacle he could, trying to keep away from the pulse fire that was trained on him. Following close behind, he continued to chase after him, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, only stopping long enough to fire a few more shots.

Seeing Relok running into an alley, he smiled and jumped down from the roof. He walked slowly, letting the man think he had found a moment of peace from the torment that was being inflicted upon him. Reaching the alley, he could see Relok was still trying to catch his breath.

Reaching for his weapon and not finding it, Relok's eyes widened in terror. It gave a feeling of satisfaction to see this as he thought, 'How does it feel to be helpless, you son of a bitch!'

He stared at the man for a microt, voice low when he finally spoke, "Where is she?"

Shaking his head in denial, Relok said, "I don't know."

Ice filled him as he heard the words escape from the man's lips, "That's too bad."

He wanted Relok to suffer, suffer for the indignities that he and his friends had subjected Aeryn to since she had been taken from him, and he wasn't about to give him an easy death. Raising Winona, he fired, hitting the man in the throat. He watched as Relok's body flew back and rebounded off of the wall, falling face first into a puddle of muddy water at his feet. He turned his back on the sounds of Lieutenant Relok choking to death on his own blood.

He felt nothing inside as he searched for the rest of Relok's unit. Each time he found one of the soldiers, he asked them the same question. When no answer was forthcoming, he quickly sent them into oblivion. He couldn't afford to leave any loose ends behind.

 


 

Spotting the soldier, he did a quick count in his head, there was only one more man after this one and he would be done with this planet, but he still hadn't found any information leading to Grayza's next location. He had been sure at least Relok would have known. He watched as the man entered into a small shop across the street and quickly followed behind him. Entering the room, he caught the officer by surprise and pinned him against the wall, "Where is she?"

Laughing, the man said, "Frell you Crichton, after the tralk has the half-breed, she's going to be executed..."

Shoving his gun in the Peacekeeper's mouth, he screamed, "Her name is Aeryn Sun!"

Hearing a sound behind him, he quickly turned his head, Winona automatically following the same movement and fired as he brought her around, shooting the other soldier in the chest.

Turning back, he slammed his prisoner against the wall, "Now where is she?" His voice grew deadlier with each word he spoke.

Swallowing hard, the man looked him in the eye, "Grayza, she's on the south continent of the planet...She...Everyone knows what are you doing, but Grayza thought you wouldn't find her here."

"Well, that will be her last mistake...and yours." Stepping back, he aimed Winona. As his finger tightened on the trigger, he thought heard a whimper come from the other room. Pulling the soldier with him as he crossed the room, he placed the man in front of him as a shield as they turned the corner. His gun ready as he scanned the room, a noise and movement off to his side caused him to jerk in that direction.

The little girl cringed further into the corner at the sight of him, loose strands of black hair falling in front of her face. Her body shook as she pressed her hand over her mouth.

Immediately moving Winona away from the child's direction, he said softly, "I won't hurt you. Go...go and find your family."

Looking at him warily, the girl stood up, hands tucked under her chin, then stood there for a moment before turning and running out the door of the shop.

Watching the child run away, his heart sank when he realized that she had seen him kill the soldier a few moments before trying to hide in this other room. Looking at the man he still held in front of him, his anger returned with a flourish when he saw the other smile.

"That little one will forever remember John Crichton as a monster who killed in cold blood."

"At least I'm not the one who gets his rocks off pushing innocents around." He said as he shoved the soldier against the wall.

"You're still going to kill me?" The man asked in surprise.

"You bet your sweet ass...What? Did you think that little girl was going make me forget all that you and your men did to Aeryn?" Stepping back, he raised his weapon and fired, watching as the Peacekeeper's body slid down the wall leaving a bloody trail.

"Hold on baby, I'm almost there." He whispered to the air around him as he ran from the shop.

 


 

Suspecting a trap as he arrived outside of the building that housed her temporary `base' of operations and forced himself to wait and watch for two days. Memorizing their patterns and waiting to see if any alarms were raised. When the guards completed their shift change, he listened as the oncoming guard relayed the current news. He knew he had to act swiftly once the guard was alone.

Creeping up silently behind the guard with his knife in hand, he grabbed the man's head, shoving the knife in and upward. He held the guards shaking limbs tightly, lowering him onto the ground out of sight, a look of shock permanently etched onto the dead man's features. Picking his pulse rifle off of the ground, he walked to the side entrance and used the guard's ident chip to gain entrance. Quickly walking down the empty corridors, he was surprised to find that Grayza was operating at such minimal capacity as she waited for him to be captured.

Checking each door, he made his way through the corridors, his senses absorbing every sight and sound, nerves growing in intensity, muscles tightened in anticipation of movement, the sweat trickling down the side of his temple as he moved forward.

He heard as the voices of the soldiers as they carried down the corridor, he stopped and waited for them to round the corner, never giving them a chance to lift their weapons in his direction as he fired on them. Running past the bodies, he checked both corridors, unsure of which direction to take.

`Think dammit, think!' Turning in a complete circle, deciding to backtrack the dead soldiers path. Heat seared his shoulder a microt before a blast hit the wall next to him. Falling to the ground onto his back, he pulled the trigger, firing rapidly, hitting a soldier who had just exited from a door behind him. Crawling to his feet, he saw the man reaching for his fallen weapon a few denches away from his outstretched hand. Pointing his own weapon, he fired and ended any more movement. He knew time was running out for him as he checked the door the Peacekeeper had just exited.

Keeping his finger on the trigger, he slowly entered the room.

"John!" Automatically, he jerked in the direction of the voice. Dropping his rifle down to his side and running across the room when he saw Aeryn coming towards him. Dressed in a simple gray prisoners jumpsuit, her hair even longer than he remembered. He was surprised to see the pregnancy had not begun to show yet.

"God! Aeryn!" Grabbing her face, he kissed her in his excitement to see her, momentarily forgetting about their situation.

As the parted, reality set back in, "We have to get out of here...now!"

"Where are the others?" She asked as she searched his face as if memorizing every detail.

"There is no one else...I'm alone."

The look of surprise only remained on her face for a microt before she nodded her head. He knew she would wait to ask him any questions until they were safely on their way off of the planet.

Grabbing Aeryn's hand, he turned to the door as a silky voice he never wanted to hear sounded through out the room, "I am pleased to hear that."

Backing up, he pushed Aeryn behind him; he lifted the rifle up once more as soldiers began entering the room. His finger automatically squeezing the trigger, he felt Aeryn's body shift behind him.

"There's no other way out of here, is there?" His chest tightened as he asked looking at the fifteen men that filled the room, knowing there would be more in the hall outside the room.

"No, but I'm prepared for whatever your decision is." She whispered close to his ear.

For a moment he felt that if the three of them were going to die, it would be together. He felt Aeryn's heart beating rapidly against his back, waiting for their moment of peace to come. `No...I can't kill her again.` He thought a microt before dropping his pulse rifle. Taking a deep breath, he held up his arms and looked at Aeryn as guilt, anger, and humiliation over his own stupidity took hold, "I'm so sorry...I tried everything..." but looking in her eyes, the guilt and humiliation dissolved when he only saw pride shining back at him.

He was swiftly searched and his remaining weapons taken from him as Grayza entered into the room, "John Crichton...you have made quite an effort to find Officer Sun. I'm glad to see you accomplished your mission." Smiling smugly, she walked toward them.

Wanting to reach up and smack that smile off of Grayza's face, he tensed up and waited for her to get within reach. Aeryn's hand tightens on his own, conveying to him not to do anything stupid. 'God, she knows me too well.' He thought as Grayza stopped in front of him.

"As you can see, I have kept Sun healthy for you. She was most fortunate that I arrived at Katratzi when I did. Despite the Scarrans best efforts, she was on the verge of heat delirium, that is until I saw to her rescue."

"You call this a rescue? All you did was put her in a different cage."

Turning away from him, Grayza looked over at her Lieutenant, "Bring him."

The Lieutenant nodded, his face blank as he pulled out a pair of restraints and stepped forward. He tried resisting as his arms were pulled behind his back, but all that accomplished was gaining a bleeding lip.

"John...don't fight them...yet." Aeryn said quietly. He looked over at her and saw worry etched on her face, but he also something else behind her eyes that told him to wait. Nodding his head in agreement, he loosed his arms to allow the restraints to be put on him. Feeling the end of a rifle against his back, he mouthed the words 'I love you' to her as he was led out of the room.

 


 

With the click of the restraints on his ankles, the guards exited the room, leaving him completely bound and alone with Grayza. He pushed the rising panic down as she slowly walked around him. The sweat trickling down his back in trepidation of what she was going to do to him. The images of their last encounter still brought him nightmares. Turning his head when she drew close, he tried not to let the enormity of his fear show on his face.

Abruptly she walked away, sitting down on the edge of the bed that was the main fixture of the room, "Did you actually believe that you could simply walk in here...and retrieve Aeryn Sun?

Officer Sun understands that the Peacekeepers are not evil. Despite all that she has done in her time away from us, I do not think she will approve of your killing spree." It felt as if her eyes were boring into him as she stared at him, "I should kill you outright for your behavior, but since Aeryn's and my time with the Scarrans...I now truly understand they will not make peace and why your wormhole knowledge holds the key to their downfall. I could almost forgive your killing for this gift."

When he didn't answer, Grayza pursed her lips, "I realize now why Scorpius fought so hard to acquire you and the wormhole knowledge. The Scarrans do not want peace between our two species, they only want to obliterate anyone or anything that comes in their path."

"My...aren't you the swift one. Tell me...Mata Hari, how many did you screw for that piece of knowledge?"

Standing up, she walked toward him, the fingers of her right hand slid across the center of her breast, the oil coating the tips. As she brought her hand up to his lips, he jerked his head backward, "Keep that shit the hell away from me!"

Her hand stopped it's ascent towards him, "You are right, we need your mind focused for the fight to come, but for now...I have to see if your resistance to my `charms` are still as strong as when we were on Arnessk."

"If you think I'm going to help you with anything..."

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him, "You `will'...if you value the lives of Aeryn Sun and your child."

Every molecule froze around him as he returned her gaze, his lungs constricted as he tried to pull in another breath, "Don't even think you can use them, Aeryn would kill herself before she would allow you to use her like that."

He couldn't believe that she tried motivate him like that and she was right, for a microt he almost consented, but there was no way he would betray Aeryn like that.

Grayza's hand rose towards his face, the sweetly pungent smell of the heppel oil assaulted his senses, the room suddenly took on a haze around him. He tried to focus on one spot on the wall, after a moment it began to work and the haze pushed away.

As Grayza reached her hands into his jacket, he couldn't suppress the shiver than ran through his body as she pushed his jacket off of his shoulders.

"Get your goddamn hands off of me!" He growled through tightened jaws

Pushing him backward onto the bed, the cuffs dug deeply into his wrists and ankles. Without his focus, the haze began to return, but not enough for him to loose touch with his predicament. Using his elbows, he tried to push away from Grayza once more.

Shaking her head slowly as if chastising a child, Grayza smiled as she undressed and climbed onto the bed next to him, "It will do you...no good to try and get away Crichton, you are going to spend the rest of your life serving the Peacekeepers and pay for your crimes against them," her hand once more caressed her breast, "but until I turn you into High Command's custody, you will pay for your crimes against `me`..."

He tried to turn his head away as Grayza graced his lips with her fingers, his body quivered as his blood began to race. All he could see was Grayza's face above him, he wanted her, 'God, please let her touch me...' he though as her hand ran down his stomach. "No!" Shaking his head from side to side, he tried to stop the cold chills that covered his body. He let out a soft moan while his mind screamed and his body anticipated her first move. He struggled to stave off the feeling of arousal growing in his betraying loins, but it was too late, the oil did its work and he wanted her so badly he ached inside.

"What is wrong Crichton? You seem...distressed." She asked as she stood up and circled the bed, stopping at his feet. She stood staring at him, not touch...she wasn't touching him. This was wrong...he didn't want her to touch him, but the idea of her finger touching sent shivers of excitement through his groin.

He couldn't stop the small moan that escaped as he spoke, "Y-you're too far away."

Reaching down, she undid the cuffs that bound his feet together, "What? What do you want Crichton, you must tell me..."

`No...don't...' his thoughts kept turning away from fighting...resisting...Grayza. `Grayza...please...' His body ached to be touched by her, to please her. He could stop himself from shaking in anticipation of her fingers on his skin, rough...gentle, it didn't matter as long as he had her.

"Tell me John..." She whispered crawling forward slightly, undoing his pants and sliding them down his legs.

His need for her apparent, licking his lips, his voice shook, "Please...touch me. Let me feel you."

"I thought you did not want me near you?"

Shaking his head emphatically, "No...I was wrong...please." He saw the smile on her lips as she crawled up on the bed. A small laugh escaped him in eagerness of her touching him; he grew even more hard once her legs straddled him. "Undo these cuffs, I want to feel you."

"This is not about what you want at this moment, you must be punished for your deeds, and you do not get a reward for inappropriate behavior. The restraints stay on until I say it is time...do you understand me Crichton."

Yes...he had to be punished. He should never...never hurt her.

"Yes...I understand." He whispered nodding his head in agreement.

"Kiss me Crichton, " Leaning down, her lips locked onto his own, her hands rubbing across his chest. The only thing he could think of was different ways in which to please her.

 


 

A smile graced Aeryn's lips as he started running his fingers through her hair, "We need to get up and dressed soon before the guards come back." He whispered, his nose nuzzling behind her ear.

"You are right...I just don't want this to end just yet. I am still wondering why Grayza has been allowing us to see one another like this?" Aeryn's voice seemed to float up gently to his ears as she spoke, her hand gently rubbed up and down the length of his leg.

"You'd better stop that or else I won't let you go..."

Turning her head upward, she whispered his name, "John..." His head jerked backward when he realized it wasn't Aeryn's voice coming from her lips, but Harvey's

"What the frell is going on here? Cause if this is some kind of sick joke..."

Aeryn stood up in front of him, staring down, tilting her head slightly as she smiled, "This is no joke John, you are having a dream...a remnant of the drugs that Grayza introduces into your venting system."

As he watched in shock, Aeryn's features slowly dissolved into Harvey's horrible visage. Shaking his head, he asked, "What is going on here?"

"This dream...is what you would call a left over from your encounters with Grayza. She sends a gas through the venting system, keeping you docile and making you susceptible to her suggestions, which is making you think you are actually making love to Aeryn."

"This...this...is...a dream. Aeryn hasn't been allowed to see me." He stated, somehow a part of him had known it had all been too good to be true.

Looking up at the shaft above his bed, "What type of gas is it?"

"I am uncertain, seeing as I am your subconscious."

"You're...my subconscious?" He laughed without any humor in his voice as he said, "I'm more fucked up than I thought."

"Yes you are...Now, you need to remember this when you awaken," He was surprised when Harvey sat down on the bed beside him and looked him in the eye, "This is very important, you must remember that every time you have been with Aeryn since you arrived here...it has been Grayza's hands touching you. Holding her, you shared...every part of yourself with her...not Aeryn."

A shiver of revulsion passed through him at the thought of her touching him only to be quickly replaced by anger as he remembered the intimate words he had spoken to 'Aeryn'.

His head jerked up as Harvey patted him on the shoulder, seemingly out of sympathy, "I have to go...you are about to wake up."

Lying back down on the bed, he covered his eyes with his arm, "How do I fight the effects of the drug...or do you even know that since you're me?"

The voice seemed to float close to his ear, "I only know what you do, the only exception being...I can absorb the information that your conscious mind is incapable of due to the drug and hallucinations."

 


 

Moving his arm away from his eyes, he was surprised for a moment to find the room dark; the details of the dream quickly flashed through his mind, "That frelling bitch..."

Sitting up on the bed, he leaned against the wall as Harvey's words echoed in him, 'Every time Aeryn has been with you...here. It has been Grayza's hands touching you. You shared...every part of you with her...not Aeryn.'

"No! YOU BITCH!" He slammed the back of his head against the wall and again and again. The pain shooting through his head didn't compare to the humiliation and anger at the idea of all the words he had waited so long to say to Aeryn were wasted on that Peacekeeper whore.

"Are you enjoying yourself?! Laughing as you make me think I'm frelling Aeryn!!"

Jumping off of the bed, he stumbled over his boots in the dark, barely catching his balance before winding face first on the floor. Spotting the light under his cell door, he ran to it, slamming his fist against the door as he screamed. After several moments, he paused out of breath and heard voices just on the other side.

Hitting the door once more he yelled, "Get Grayza's ass here! I want to show her how to frell someone over!"

He heard the change in the sound coming through the vents, running back to his bed, grabbing his blanket in which to cover his face. He couldn't stop the panic that began to rise in him, he didn't know anything about the drug that she was dosing him with. It had only taken him a couple of microts from the time they had began filtering in the gas until he had covered his face. Soon his limbs began to feel very heavy and he wanted to drop the blanket from his face. The panic and anger that had consumed him a moment before quickly gave way to calm, almost floating feeling as the light to the room came on.

The painful stab of light against his eyes didn't even bother him as Grayza voice filled the room, "Crichton...I want you to sit down on the bed and remove the covering from your face."

He tried to keep himself from letting go, but he found himself doing as she ordered.

"Why are you behaving this way?" She asked.

Finding it hard to focus, he stared blankly at the door in front of him, "I figured it out."

"Explain yourself"

"You...you're drugging me. Making me think Aeryn's been visiting me...here." He rubbed the bed beside him as he remembered the gentle touches they had shared in the cell. Shaking his head, `No it wasn't Aeryn.'

"And just how do you know this?"

Smiling, "I dreamt it."

"That is all that it was Crichton...a dream. I allow Aeryn Sun to come to you, after you told me you wanted to help the Peacekeepers.

Shaking his head, "No...it's not real. You're doing it now." His words seemed to be coming from far away as he spoke.

"John...I want you to stand in the center of the room and wait for Aeryn to arrive in a few microts, but if you insist on acting in this manner...she will not come to you."

Closing his eyes, he stood in the center of the room as she instructed. He heard the click of the door behind him as she entered. Smiling at her anticipated touch, he held his breath for a microt...waiting for her to cross the room. He could smell her scent as her hand crept up his neck and entwined in his hair. Pulling his head backward, she ran her tongue up the side of his neck. For some reason he couldn't pinpoint, this didn't seem typical of Aeryn's usual behavior, but he quickly dismissed it when he heard her sultry voice.

"John..." Her voice had a husky sound to it as she whispered.

Letting go of his hair, he felt her breath brush against his ear, "Open your eyes and kiss me."

His tightened stomach muscles loosened as he opened his eyes and looked down at her. Cupping the sides Aeryn's face, he crushed her lips with his own, his tongue darting into her mouth, slowly deepening the kiss as he danced around her tongue. Grabbing his hips, she ground herself into him. His body responded automatically to her touch.

Leading her back to the bed, he sat down and held out his hand and smiled, "Come here baby..."

Her hand took his own as she looked into his eyes, her voice husky as she whispered; "I want you to undress me now John...make me forget where we are."

Without a word, he began to slowly pull her clothing off, exposing her breasts, her nipples becoming hard in the chilled air of the room. Running the palms of his hands lightly across the nipples, he felt a shiver pass through her a microt before she arched her back, lifting her head up to face the ceiling and letting out a soft moan.

Looking back down at him, she smiled and pushed him gently back down onto the bed and removed his pants, Aeryn smiled at him as her hands began roaming slowly over his body. Laying his head back, he allowed her to explore him. Suddenly she stopped, his heart halted in his chest as Aeryn flipped her hair back over her right shoulder. `God...she is so beautiful.` He thought as he grew even harder watching Aeryn swinging her leg over his waist, lowering herself as he slowly slid into her. Groaning, he lifted his hips to meet hers. Finding a piece of heaven as her name trembled on his lips, their bodies finding a natural rhythm.

 


 

"Wake up John, you have a visitor."

Opening his eyes, for a moment he didn't understand the scene in front of him: Grayza smiling as she finished buttoning the front of her dressing gown. The memory of the last several arns conflicted with the truth, hitting him with all of the weight of a freight train.

"You did it to me...again" He said breathlessly while shaking his head to clear the grogginess that remained.

"I'm very interested in how you were able to `dream' about the drugs in the ventilation system since I usually command you to `see' Officer Sun, but no matter...." Smiling, she leaned down on the bed, "Now be a good boy and dress yourself. You'll want to be presentable for your guest." Smacking him gently on the thigh before standing back up. He notices her watching him as climbs out of the bed and slipped on his pants. Turning away from her, he grabs his shirt and pulls it over his head.

He can see a smirk on her face once he's finished, "I do have some bad news to inform you of Crichton, it appears Scorpius survived our little excursion on Arnessk and has been captured by the Scarrans, it was reported to High Command by one of our Kalish spies. At least with you and Officer Sun in custody, you will be well protected from the Scarrans and any information they may garner from Scorpius concerning you.

"Scorpius...captured by Scarrans?" Something about Scorpius being in Scarran hands didn't sit right with him, something at the back of his mind, like a word just on the tip of his tongue.

Pushing the feeling aside, narrowing his eyes at the Commandant, "You...will protect `me' from the Scarrans...and just who will protect you...from me?" He couldn't help the smile that played on his lips at the thought of what he would do to her once she was away from her guards.

Grayza dismissively turned away from him, "Send her in."

Turning around, he can see Grayza leave the room, allowing the only person he ever cared to see in. His eyes widened and he smiled as Aeryn entered the room, looking quickly from Aeryn to Grayza and knew that it was not another drug-induced hallucination.

Swiftly walking over to Aeryn, "Aeryn!"

His arms circle around her waist, only to be surprised when pain shoots through his chest and he finds himself on the floor looking up at Aeryn. Her eyes are twin dead mirrors as she looks down at him.

"Don't you ever frelling touch me!" She hissed looking down at him.

Panic filled him as he heard her words, "What's wrong?" He can see Grayza standing just outside the door to the cell, smiling.

He can barely hear his own voice when he speaks, "What did Grayza do to you?"

Aeryn stood rigidly above him, almost at attention, "Grayza did nothing...you did. All she did was show me the truth about you."

It felt as if the walls of his heart crumpled into little shards, leaving him feeling hollow inside knowing he did this to her.

As she spoke, her voice lost all inflection of emotion, returning once more to the Peacekeeper that shunned him for so long, "The John Crichton I knew would never have killed so callously, you even fired on Peacekeepers in a street crowded with civilians."

She paused for a moment before asking her final question, only allowing a hint of concern to grace her eyes, "Did you kill everyone on Moya as well?"

Aeryn's words struck him as if a physical blow, he didn't want to move as he lay on the floor looking up at her. He could see her body slightly with anger while waiting for him to answer at least one of her questions.

"What?" Shaking his head, he was finally able to speak, "No...I left them. They...they didn't even know I was leaving them."

"So you abandoned them the first opportunity you had..." He could hear the disgust pour from her voice as she spoke, her eyes an ice-cold replica of what he felt inside as well.

Looking down at him, Aeryn crossed her arms and spoke to the guards, "I'm ready to go back to my cell." Turning away from him, she started towards the door.

"Aeryn...Aeryn!" The floor dropped out from beneath him as Aeryn exited the room with her guards, leaving him alone one last time.

Soft footsteps caught his attention as he lay on the floor, "What did you tell her?" He whispered.

"She was 'concerned' for your well being...so I allowed her to have a direct feed into this very cell, of course she never really heard our `meetings`...only watched. She also believes that you are trying to coerce my favor to join the Peacekeepers to save your life. To her, it is her punishment until we reach High Command and she stands trial." She replied smugly.

"You fucking Bitch!" Jumping up, he grabbed her by the throat. Her smile was quickly replaced by a grimace of pain as he squeezed more tightly on Grayza’s throat. His head throbbed with each beat of his heart. All he wanted was to see her dead, this woman that had finally ripped Aeryn away for a final time. He barely felt the muzzle against his temple before hearing the voice behind it.

"Release her." The Lieutenant said.

His fingers tightened even more, sinking further into Grayza's flesh, her eyes began to bulge from lack of oxygen. The vibration of the pulse rifle being powered up reminded him of the consequences if he killed Grayza right now. It was one thing to be the cause of Aeryn's pain and heartbreak, but he didn't want to be the cause of her death as well.

Fighting the flood of rage that filled him, he loosened his fingers and took a step back as Grayza fell to the floor gasping for air. Staring at her, his own chest heaving as he fought to maintain control. His body tightly coiled as two more guards rushed into the room their weapons aimed at him. They looked quickly from him to Grayza on the floor, unsure of how to respond to this threat to their commander.

Grayza held her throat as she looked at him. After a few microts she was able to croak out, "Deal with h-him, but do not d-damage him too s-severely." Standing on shaky legs, she shook away her Lieutenant's hand as he tried to assist her and left the room.

He knew this was going to hurt, but he didn't care. Despite the looks on the advancing guards` faces, he smiled with satisfaction remembering the look on Grayza's face as he choked her.

Laughing, he said, "Come on boys, let's get this shindig going."

Grayza's Lieutenant landed the first blow to his stomach, collapsing him to the floor. He didn't even try and fight them, but laughed with each blow, soliciting even more pain. He hoped that if he angered them enough, they would cause too much damage and Grayza would be able to touch him for a long time. Soon it became too much for him to even breath, much less laugh anymore as he finally slipped into unconsciousness.

 


 

Staring upward in the darkness, he knew he would have to get up soon or end up pissing all over himself. Holding his breath, he sat up on the bed. The pent up air burst from his lungs as pain shot through his ribs, causing his head to swim. Breathing slowly through his mouth until the dizzy spell eased. He braced his hand against the wall as he stood; his legs trembled with screaming muscles. Slowly he made his way to the waste unit, sighing as he found relief to at least one discomfort. His eyes making use of the sliver of light coming under the door, the distance back to his bed seemed even further away as the pain in his ribs increased. Drawing in a breath, dread crawled at him as he began to make the return trip back to his bed.

Lying back down, he tried to find a comfortable position in which to relax, but it was damn near impossible in his opinion. All he could hope for was to find a tolerable level of pain so he could still get some sleep. Even with the pounding headache, bruised ribs and bruises covering his body, he smiled as he remembered Grayza's expression when the med tech told her he couldn't recreate for two weekens as his ribs healed. An involuntary giggle escaped his lips and he had to hold his ribs as pain shot through him.

"You need to stop doing that boy." He said to the darkness, and then remembering the absolute fear in Grayza’s eyes, "Yeah, but it was worth it."

Only the cost of seeing that fear was too great, "Grayza did nothing...you did. All she did was show me the truth about you."

The look of hatred on Aeryn's face flashed through his mind, "Oh God...Aeryn..." Even knowing why she reacted the way she did, couldn't stop his heart from tearing in two at the pain he had caused her...again. "Why is it...that I destroy everything I frelling touch?" He said softly to the room around him. Curling up on his side, he tried to push aside the rush of emotion that these thoughts caused. One thing he knew for sure, he had to get them out of there soon and he'd be damned if Grayza ever touched him again.

 


 

A voice summoned him back from the darkness of sleep, "Crichton...the Commandant wants to see you."

Opening his eyes, `Ah...there are the Mensa twins,` he thought looking at the two guards in his doorway, "Tell her my schedule is busy, the Doc said two weekens bed rest."

He heard their pulse rifles charging up and knew that he was only going to get himself hurt even worse and that would definitely kill his plans for getting him and Aeryn out of this hellhole.

"Fine...fine...I haven't been out of this room since I got here."

"You have only just been to medical a weeken ago."

Sitting up in bed, he was surprised to find he was able to do so without having it feel as if his lungs were being crushed, but he didn't want the guards to know just yet.

"That doesn't count, I was unconscious during that little trip."

Moving slowly, he dressed and put on his boots, adding a few more groans of pain than was necessary. While he wasn't a hundred percent, he decided to play it up for what it was worth.

Slowly walking towards the door, he held his arms around himself and breathed slowly through his mouth.

The guard he had dubbed Tweedle Dumb, lowered his rifle, "I suggest you move faster Crichton, the Commandant's patience it very thin today."

Giving the guard a quick glance, he said, "Wouldn't want to cause her any undue stress...bad for the complexion."

"Just move."

Walking past the two guards into the hall, he fell against the wall with a loud grunt. He felt the jab of a barrel in his back.

"I'm moving..." He mumbled.

Taking a step forward as he leaned against the wall, "I think I need some...some help here. There's a reason I wasn't suppose to move for another weeken." He said quietly, feigning more pain than what he actually felt.

From the corner of his eye, he watched Dumber come around his right side, his gun down by his side. Tweedle Dumb stood a couple motras away with a look of boredom on his face.

"Crichton...I suggest you move now or I will make you sorry you were ever conceived."

He heard his heartbeat thud twice in his ear, "I already do...all I cause is pain." He whispered before twisting his body and driving his palm upward, jamming it against the guards nose, shattering it and sending fragments of bone upward into his brain, he was dead before he hit the floor.

Reaching for the pulse rifle, his muscles and ribs screamed in protest at the sudden movements. He pointed the weapon at the remaining guard whose look of boredom was quickly replaced by one of surprise as Dumb brought his own weapon up. Falling onto his side, he held the trigger for several microts and watched as Dumb danced backward several steps before falling onto his knees, blood bubbling up through his lips before finally falling onto the floor.

Waiting for the length of a heartbeat, he looked at the two downed soldiers as he lay on the floor with them. He struggled to catch his breath as he stood up, guessing the impact with the floor didn't help his ribs any and hoping he hadn't caused further damage.

He pulled the rifle strap over his shoulder, he debated for a microt if would be able to carry the second thirty pound pulse rifle. An alarm at that moment began to sound and made his decision for him. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he reached down and grabbed the second gun along with the knife from Dumb's boot. His mind raced as he tried to remember the location of Aeryn's cell in conjunction of his own.

Turning to the right, he held the gun tightly in his hands while running through the corridors. Spotting a cross-section ahead of him, he felt a wave of panic when he couldn't remember, 'Right? Left? Right? Left?' Suddenly the answer came back to him.

"Right!" He said rushing to the right side and standing against the wall, adjusting his fingers on the trigger. He took a deep breath and rounded the corner, only to find himself staring at the end of the barrel of a pulse rifle. Stormy blue eyes found his own in less than a microt later.

Relief flooded him as he saw her face and dropped his weapon to his side, "Aeryn! I was on my..."

"Obviously...let's get the frell out of here," She replied coldly as she quickly looked him up and down, "or would you rather stay here with your lover?"

Ignoring her painful remark, "I'm going with you...you know..."

"This is not the time to discuss this Crichton." She turned away and started down the corridor.

"Aeryn, dammit...wait for a microt. You're going the wrong way."

Stopping in her tracks, she didn't turn and face him as her voice slightly growled, "We are going to the upper hangers, getting a ship and getting the frell out of this hole."

"How do you know this is the right direction?"

When she didn't answer, he sighed, "They can trace us in their ships...I have a Marauder waiting for us."

Aeryn turned to face him and lifted her pulse rifle at him, "Aeryn, what the frell are you doing?!" He watched as she squeezed the trigger, diving out of the way as she fired. Hitting the wall, pain shot through his already abused ribs. Looking to where her shot had landed, he saw a soldier lying dead on the floor.

"You could have warned me! I thought you were going to shoot me!"

"I thought about it, now get your eema up. We have three more sections to cross before going up two levels to the hanger."

"I told you...I have a Marauder," He lost his breath as he stood, "waiting for us. Totally clean, it can't be traced."

"How far is this Marauder?"

He did the quick calculations in his head, "Six metras."

"And do you really think we can really make it that distance on foot...with you injured?"

"You're right, let's get to the hanger."

 


 

He pushed himself to keep up with Aeryn as they ran through the corridor to the next cross section, their weapons ready as they each turned the corner, each telling the other `clear' before moving on. It felt as if his heartbeat kept in time with the sound of the alarm, telling him that their time was growing increasingly short.

They had only reached a couple of motras past the second cross section when the corridor ahead of them filled with soldiers opening fire.

Falling back to his side of the section, he watched as Aeryn did the same, "Aeryn...you all right?"

"I'm fine..."

A lull in the pulse fire gave him a chance to peek around the corner, pulling off a few shots; he tried to figure out how many they were up against.

Leaning back, he wished he didn't know, "Damn!"

"How many?" He heard her call from across the corridor.

"Too many, fifteen...maybe sixteen."

She quickly looked around the corner, "As usual, you are wrong."

`God, she is antagonistic.' He thought as he looked at her, "Aeryn, I know how to count..." Looking once more for himself, his heart dropped into his stomach when he saw the number had doubled and even more were filing in.

"Frell!" Stepping away from the corner, he began to pace back and forth while trying to think of a way out of their situation.

"Crichton!" Aeryn's voice called, her voice carried no emotion in it what so ever, cutting through him to hear her speak to him like this once more.

Turning to face her, he watched as she fired several shots into the horde of soldiers, "Make your way along the corridor behind you, I'll do the same and meet up with you in the hanger on the upper level."

"No! I'm not leaving you!"

"We...you have no choice in the matter, their weapons are set to stun us. They won't kill us, but they will recapture us and I will `not' be taken again!"

Reaching around the corner, he fired off more shots himself, "Fine. If you're not there, I'm coming after you!"

She didn't acknowledge she heard his last statement before she turned and ran up the corridor. He kept firing, spreading out his shots to appear as if Aeryn was still firing as well, adding three more bodies to the ones already littering the floor.

He knew he had to hurry, even with Aeryn's obvious animosity towards him, she wouldn't leave him behind, but he didn't want to chance it. Dropping his now empty pulse rifle, he lifted the second off his shoulder as the remaining soldiers began firing. Turning away, he ran down the corridor to meet up with Aeryn.

 


 

Nearing the hanger doors, he heard Grayza's voice, "He will not be far behind Officer Sun, be ready...but do not kill him."

It felt as if something slid inside him, clicking into place as he gripped the pulse rifle in his hands. A quick glance around the corner showed five of Grayza's personal guard standing with their weapons ready.

Aeryn's body lay on the floor at Grayza's feet, not breathing, blood trailing away from her.

Flash:

He held her face in his hands, "Aeryn, I have to tell you how I feel. I have to tell you... "

"No, you don't."

Time was running out, he wanted her to know so badly how he felt for her, "Yes, I do-- I do."

Aeryn looked at him, understanding as she said softly, "No...you don't."

Flash:

He could see the determination in her eyes, willing a part of herself into him, but he felt himself sinking even further as she spoke, there was almost nothing left of him.

"Well, fight it! Listen to me. We've reached the surgical facility. We're going to see if they can remove the chip."

Flash:

"Shut up." Walking past her, his mind racing trying to figure out how he can tell her.

"Don't you tell me to shut up!"

"Pilot. My comms are a bit buggy. Can you test the system, please?"

"Yes, Commander, but that will take all comms offline for about thirty microts."

"I thought so. That'll be fine, thank you."

A quiet beeping sound telling him Pilot has done as he has asked, somehow had to convince Aeryn of what was really going on with him. Pointing at her, he knows the only way is to push through and hope like hell she'll understand the whole picture fast as he walks over to where she is still standing, the tears in her eyes ready to kill him.

"Shut up and listen to me. Scorpius is here...looking for the key to what is inside my head. Neural chips, aurora chair, threatening Earth...none of it works because he does not understand me."

"No...no...no..." He mumbles over and over, his heart racing at the thought of life without her.

Stepping around the corner, he began firing at the soldiers in the room. Two quickly fell as the remaining three began firing. He kept walking forward, ignoring the shot that grazed his thigh and the several burns that appeared on his skin from pulse fire that narrowly missed him He felt nothing, his entire body numb with the exception of the piece of ice that remained of his heart without her to warm it. Within microts the remaining soldiers lay on the ground near where Aeryn lay. Grayza quickly knelt beside her pointing a pistol at Aeryn's head.

His voice was flat and without emotion as he spoke, "Won't do you any good...I can see she is already dead."

"Quite the contrary." Grayza gave a slight shove to Aeryn's body, turning her over. His heart began to race as he saw she was in fact breathing, looking back up to Grayza's face, he could see the smirk growing on her lips as she stood back up.

"If you do not want to see her die in front of you, I suggest you throw down your weapon."

Looking from Aeryn's prone body then back to Grayza, he knew she would pull the trigger without hesitation. Throwing down the pulse rifle, he took a step towards her.

Crossing her arms, she looked him up and down, "I see you have recovered well from your injuries." Her lips scowling slightly on the last word.

Stepping closer, he looks at her, "Yeah...no thanks to your tender, loving care. How badly did you hurt Aeryn?" He asked as his body tensed even more.

"She will live...for the time being, but that length of time is entirely up to you." Her back stiffened as he approached, "Any more acts of aggression and you `will' stand over Sun as she draws her last breath. Is that clear?"

"Crystal." His voice low as he stepped close enough to see the beads of heppel oil running down between her breasts, he reached up and ran a finger down the side of her face, "Can I tell you a little secret? I enjoyed holding your neck in my hands, squeezing the life out of you." Tilting his head, he looked into her lightly colored eyes, "I never used to be this way. Even when I had killed before, I always regretted it." Dropping his hand down to his side, "But with you...I actually took pleasure in it."

Taking a step back, his hand flew up, landing on the side of her face knocking her backward, the pulse pistol falling out of her hand. Grayza's resulting scream was more of surprise and outrage than actual pain.

Catching herself before falling to the floor, she stood up straight, "You have just sealed Aeryn Sun's fate Crichton."

He was prepared as she rushed towards him. Grabbing her arms, he lifted her as he shifted his weight, allowing her momentum to take her over. Flipping on top of her, his knees pinning her wrists to the floor.

Bucking her body, Grayza tried to throw him off. He could feel the bones of her wrists grinding together beneath his knees. Pain crossing her face as she screamed in anger.

Her eyes darted to the door in anticipation of rescue, "Crichton, release me immediately before the rest of my guards arrive or I will teach you a whole new level of pain!"

"Do you promise?" Smiling coldly down at her.

Trailing his finger down the center of her breasts, "You know, I have learned quite a bit after our little encounter on Arnessk." He said looking into her pale eyes.

Reaching into his boot, he pulled out the stiletto-like dagger he had removed from his dead guard.

Shaking her head, Grayza said, "You do not want to kill me Crichton, the Peacekeepers will never stop chasing you."

The knife tip touched her skin just under her neck where the bruises in the shape of his hand were faintly visible, "I'm not going to kill you Melee' on," running the blade slowly down the center of her breasts, "It's interesting about that heppel glad of yours...while using your own heartbeat to create the oil, it functions independent of your body. Once the glad is removed...your body will no longer accept a replacement"

He stopped the knife just above her right breast, leaning low as the knife pierced her skin, "So no...I'm not going to kill you, but I wonder what High Command is going to say to you after they find out how many of your men are dead at my hand, you've been stripped of your gland and the dynamic duo of Crichton and Sun have escaped once again."

As the knife slid smoothly through her skin, Grayza writhed beneath him. Within a few microts the gland was exposed. Reaching in with two fingers, he pulled out the quivering gray mass.

"Kiss your whore ass goodbye Commandant." He said looking at Grayza as he drove the knife through the center of the gland and tearing it in two pieces. He watched as her complexion grew surprisingly even paler as he dropped the dead tissue on the floor beside them. Grayza emitted a thunderous scream, her body shaking as she once more tried to knock him off.

He hesitated, knowing he had caught her by surprise earlier, but now once he tried to stand she would be on him faster than a wolverine at a chicken picnic. His hand tightened into a fist, moving without delay he landed two quick punches across her temple, knocking her unconscious.

His chest heaving, he looked at the looked down at the blood covering his hands, a tremor passed through his body as a drop of sweat rolled down the bridge of his nose. Brushing it off with the sleeve of his shirt, he wiped the blood on Grayza's clothing before standing.

Turning around, he saw Aeryn looking at him, shock plainly written on her face. Looking around at the bodies littering the ground then back to Grayza lying near her, she whispered, "What did you do John?"

"What I had to...let's get out of here." He said reaching for her hand.

Somehow he wasn't surprised when she knocked his hand away, "I told you not to touch me." She hissed.

He wasn't going to give up that easily as he looked down at her, "Aeryn, you're injured, let me help you. We need to get out of here and `fast' before the rest of those men get here." Holding out his hand once more, she looked at it for a moment then grabbed it, allowing him to pull her up.

She looked blankly at the blood that had rubbed off of his hand onto her own. When she moved, he noticed her shoulder wound began to bleed more freely. He walked over to a dead soldier close to him and ripped off a section of his shirt and handed it to Aeryn.

"You need to stop the bleeding?" He asked softly.

Taking the cloth, Aeryn pressed it against the wound, "We'll use that one." She said pointing across the hanger.

With no acknowledgement what he had just done a moment before, they both ran to the Marauder closest to the hanger door. Entering the ship, he immediately went to the Command and began the start up sequence. His hands moved automatically over the instruments before taking the controls and flying them out of the base.

Flipping up the sensor display, he began entering in a numbered code. "What are you doing?" He heard her ask, turning his head slightly, he saw her standing rigidly as she watched him.

"Calling Kitt. I have him parked, but my point of reference, " He looked back at the sensor, "is from the...ground, and there he is!"

He quickly began reversing the thrusters and landed the Marauder a short distance away from his own with hardly a bump.

Jumping up, he looked at her before moving, "Okay...let's go!"

 


 

They quickly changed ships and again she watched his movements at the controls in front of him, She couldn't hide the surprise from her voice as she asked, "Where did you get this ship and learn to fly it?"

John's shoulder's visibly tightened at her question, his fingers danced against a few more buttons in front of the monitor that set the coordinates.

"Are you going to answer me Crichton?" Her hostility towards him apparent with every syllable.

"Yeah, I am." Turning around, he faced her.

She could tell by the way he rubbed his lower lip with the pad of his thumb that he was nervous and unsure of what to say in answer to her question.

"I...I made a deal with Scorpius..."

Disbelief at his words shot through her, "A deal with Scorpius?" She asked incredulously, "After all that you said to me when I brought him back to Moya..."

"Yes, I made a deal. I don't like it, but I had no choice. I told you once, shortly before you were taken, you are the key to gaining my cooperation."

As he spoke, an image suddenly filled her mind. The memory was forever burned into her mind and it felt as if her heart would snap in two as they came unbidden once more.

John sat on his knees in front of Grayza, his back to the surveillance camera as she sat smiling on the bed, "What do you want John...tell and it's yours."

"To...to join you...to be with you always." He said softly, taking her hand in his own and kissing the palm.

"Even if it means joining the Peacekeepers?" She asked rubbing her fingers through his hair.

Sitting up straighter, he leaned against the bed between Grayza's legs, "I would...follow you to the ends of the universe."

Shaking her head, she tried to focus her thoughts on what John had just said, "No lies Crichton...I saw you. She made frelling sure of that. Every touch and caress you..."

"I never touched Grayza...."

She couldn't believe he actually said that to her, "Lies!" Crossing her arms, she tried to hold herself in control of her emotions, but the hurt was too great and she was out of practice.

"Let me finish dammit! She was pumping a drug into my room. In my mind, I wasn't touching Grayza...I was touching you."

"Do you want to know what I saw...Crichton?" She saw the visible flinch in his bruised face as she used his last name once more.

"No."

"Well, if she was drugging you, I want to make sure you `know' everything that happened to you." She couldn't stop the feelings of hurt that burned inside, twisting her stomach into a knot. "She set up a display screen in my cell, although I couldn't hear anything, she made sure I `saw' everything. Your lips on hers, your hands exploring every dench of her body...whispering in her ear as you both fell asleep in each others arms."

The part of her that could map his movement and mannerisms in her sleep saw the look of hurt and shock on his face and knew he was telling the truth. Only the pain inside was too great and it pushed that sympathy way as she watched him stand in silence.

"You have nothing to say to this?" She began pacing the small room, stopping, she looked at his face, which seemed to pale with her revelations despite the discoloration, "You never answered all of my first question, how did you get this Marauder?"

She almost had to strain to hear his answer, "Braca."

His answer confirmed in her mind what she heard and saw on the monitor the day her world collapsed around her, "Braca! You stand there and tell me that you did not try and gain favor with Grayza...yet you are flying in an untraceable Marauder given to you by her very own Captain!"

Taking a step forward, the small confines of the command began to swim around her, reaching for the nearest chair at the navcom, she closed her eyes as she steadied herself.

"Aeryn!" She heard his steps cross the short distance between them.

Opening her eyes, Aeryn saw John was standing by her side reaching for her; she couldn't control the pain inside her no longer, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME! YOU BETRAYED EVERYTHING THAT WE HAVE FOUGHT AGAINST! YOU BETRAYED ME! US! MY TRUST IN YOU!"

Quickly delivering a Pantak Jab, she was surprised when he stopped her hand a dench from his face. The look in his eyes sent an involuntary chill through her, as he said, "I have not now nor will I `ever' betray you I would rather sit in the Aurora Chair and beg Scorpius to pull the lever. `Nothing' in this life is worth more than you. I have given up my soul in order to find you." He let go of her hand and took a step back away from her,

Turning away, he reached under the consol and brought out the emergency med kit that was stored there and placed it in the chair next to her.

The expression on his face dramatically changed, his voice cracking as he spoke to her, "I'm going to get cleaned up and get the stench of that bitch off of me. If you need any help...I'll be in my quarters."

He quickly left the room as she stood in silence.

 


 

Each time she saw him pass by she couldn't stop the images the ran unfiltered through her mind, his hands sliding slowly across Grayza's body...a look of contentment on his face. It took all of her willpower not walk up to him and force him to admit his lies. She thought that when he had died, the hurt had been too great to handle. She was wrong. His betrayal hurt a thousand times worse because he had thrown it away, thrown away what they both had fought so hard to achieve together. This man was nothing of the John Crichton she loved.

 

Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall. And all the King's horses and all the King's men...Hey, Zhaan. How do we take it all back?

He couldn't look at her, couldn't stand the idea that he had betrayed everything, even if it 'was' without his consent. The pain and hatred in her eyes when he saw Aeryn glance his way was too great. Even if she forgave him eventually, he didn't deserve to be with her, the other one deserved it and he was gone.

Leaving her alone like she demanded was the one last thing he could give her as he searched for Moya. Once they were back on board, he didn't know what he would do, but if she wanted him to leave...he would. At least with him out of the picture, she would at least be around family when the baby finally came.

Locking himself into the training room for arns, he worked himself into exhaustion, pushing himself even he when his body screamed for rest. Anything to keep his mind off of what he had done to her, to himself while under the influence of Grayza's drug. He needed something else to focus his mind on, the very thought of Grayza's hands on him sent him several times daily to the waste unit and it was tearing his stomach to shreds.

 


 

Time appeared to stand still as they passed with hardly a word spoken between the two of them. John acquiesced to her demand leaving her alone. In a way, it felt almost wrong to see him walk the corridors of the ship so silently. On the rare occasion they met in the same room, he would turn around and leave her to finish her business before entering again.

Rotating shifts, they kept watch for any signs for Moya as they neared the coordinates Moya had given John. When he had told her about them, all she could do was stare at him in surprise as he explained to her that only D'Argo, Pilot, and Moya had known he was leaving with Scorpius to find her. She fought to hold back the snide remark that formed in her mind about how he preferred the half Scarrans company over friends. What was so different now than when he felt she betrayed his trust by bringing Scorpius to Moya in the first place? She doubted John would give her an honest answer if she asked this man she saw on the vid screen.

Sleep, it seemed, was becoming a rare commodity for the both of them. The nausea she had only begun to feel while still held captive came more frequently making it near impossible for her to sleep and she found herself, almost against her will it seemed, standing at the edge of command in the shadows watching John during his shifts.

Sitting back in the pilot's seat, he gave the appearance of one in a relaxed state, but she could see the tension in his body as his eyes leapt from one display to another. Occasionally John's hand would rest against his chin, eyes closing for a microt before snapping open, and he would shake his head as if clearing his mind of wayward thoughts.

She knew him, knew him almost as well as she knew herself and had seen him at both his best and worst. Comforting him when he was slowly going mad under the influence of the neural clone. Holding him when he would wake from nightmares thinking she was still dead at his hand. His fingers curling in her hair as they sat in Pilot's den. Laughing as he held her once they were returned to their own bodies. Every part of her screamed that he told her the truth, he would never do the things she saw willingly. The images in her mind conflicted with the memory of the reports of him hunting down and killing the Peacekeeper soldiers formally under Grayza's command.

John Crichton had given up his home and family to be with her, and also to keep the Peacekeepers and Scarrans from claiming supremacy through the use of wormholes. He had died once to protect them all and she was a fool to think he wouldn't again.

 


 

The scene in front of her appeared to never change. Empty space stared back at her, making her feel even more alone as another wave of nausea hit her. Clutching her stomach lightly, she stood up from the pilot's seat and walked toward the galley in hopes of finding something that would soothe her stomach. Opening the dry foods storage, she smiled as she took down the Milvo bread. Sitting down at the table and began wondering how she could bring herself to speak to John about all that had happened on the base. Her words had been cruel and harsh when they had escaped. At the time they were justified, but her assumptions were wrong and she now realized this.

It still felt worse than any battle injury she had every acquired while still in the Peacekeepers. Those she knew how to deal with: clean it, cauterize it with heat if it was too deep, but this...this was deeper than any physical wound. It cut down deep to her very essence, her soul, and she didn't know what to do.

"Don't...Don't touch me!" The fear in John's words pulled her out of her thoughts.

Leaving her food on the table, she walked the short distance to his quarters and stood outside his quarters, something she found herself doing more and more. Over the past several days, she had heard a variety of different pleas while he slept. The most prominent were the ones begging forgiveness. Each time, she stood with her hand over the door sensor, wanting to go in and wake him. Most times John woke on his own, but on the rare occasion, he would drift off into a dreamless sleep. The room was quiet as she stood there, and thinking this may be one of those rare times, she began to turn away when she heard him moan once more.

"Aeryn..." The ache in his voice stopped her mid-step.

"Help me Scorpius. I'll give you everything, wormholes for Aeryn..."

She remembered his words from two weekens before, "'Nothing' in this life is worth more than you. I have given up my soul in order to find you."

She fell silently against the wall in shock at the enormity of what he had done to find her. "John...what did you do?" she whispered, wiping away the tears that began to fall, "I told you and Zhaan both...I'm not worth it."

Hearing a soft rustling noise on the other side of the door, she knew that John was now awake. Standing quickly, she returned to the galley and sat back down at the table in front of her meager meal.

After several moments, she heard his door opening and his familiar gait coming down the hall. He was rubbing the sleep from his eyes when he entered the room. Moving his hand away, he blinked his eyes a couple times at the bright light. "Oh sorry, I'll wait till you're done."

"No...stay. There is no reason for us not be able to sit in the same room together, it is a small ship."

John’s voice was hesitant as he asked, "You sure?"

"Yes," she said before taking another bite of her bread.

He went over to the refrigeration unit and retrieved himself a cup of Kalit juice. She tried not to be obvious as she watched him take a drink and noted the slight tremor in his hand.

"You were unable to sleep?" she asked, turning her head slightly, still unsure of how to take this first step.

He turned around, the surprise over her question evident on his face, "Huh? Ah yeah, guess I'm just anxious to get back home to Moya."

"Me too, it has been too long."

She watched as he came over to the table, hesitating a moment before sitting down at the far end. "Yes it has. Everyone will be happy you're back. It just about killed everyone when we discovered you were taken," he said as he stared into his glass.

She could see John was nervous sitting at the table with her, but his few quick glances in her direction told her that he was also curious in her change in attitude towards him. 'Small steps, you have to take small steps,' she told herself.

She wanted to ask him about what she had heard coming from his room a few moments before, but found herself asking instead, "Would you like some Milvo bread?"

Shaking his head, "No, I'm not really hungry right now, but thank you."

Looking around the room, she tried to think of something else to say to him. Realizing she was at a loss for words, she stood, "I have to return to the command. I only came in here to find something to settle my stomach."

John's head came up rapidly. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, just some slight nausea. The bread has helped to settle it."

"Why don't you go ahead and lay down, it sounds like you're having morning sickness. I'll take this one." The concern was evident in his voice.

"Morning sickness?" At first the term seemed unfamiliar, but then she remembered he had spoken of it before in regards to his sister Susan when she had been pregnant with Bobby. "No, you had only been asleep for a couple of arns. I will finish my watch."

Stifling a yawn, John stood as well, "As long as you're sure. If you don't feel well, you wake me up and I'll take over."

Nodding her head in agreement, she walked out of the room and towards command, with the single thought, 'Small steps.' repeating in her mind.

 


 

"I can't believe it, she actually talked to me without wanting to take off my head," he mumbled as he lay back down on his bed in the dark room.

He had noticed a slight change in her within the last couple of days, but she still hadn't talked to him except to tell him there had been no sign of Moya when he came to relieve her in command.

Unable to hold back another yawn, he turned on his side and sent up a small prayer that he could sleep for a few arns without seeing Grayza's leering grin or another dead Peacekeeper lying in a pool of their own blood.

Entering the room, he caught the officer by surprise and pinned him against the wall, "Where is she?"

Laughing, the man said, "Frell you Crichton, after the tralk has the half-breed, she's going to be executed..."

Shoving his gun in the Peacekeeper's mouth, he screamed, "Her name is Aeryn Sun!"

Hearing a sound behind him, he knew it was another soldier and quickly turned his head, Winona automatically following the same movement and fired as he brought her around, intending on shooting the last soldier in the chest. Only this time it wasn't a soldier that flew back from the force of the pulse blast, it was the little girl he found that day. Letting go of the man in his hand, he ran towards the little girl.

"Please God...I'm sorry, I didn't mean...I thought. I'm sorry." He kept whispering to her as she looked up at him, her face already pale from the loss of blood. Her tiny lips trembled as she whispered, "Daddy..." Looking around, he couldn't find anything to stop the bleeding. He pushed away a several strands of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes; she let out a faint whimper in fear as he touched her face. He watched as her chest filled one final time and she released one last ragged breath.

The scream ripped from his throat as he sat up in bed, it took him a moment to realize where he was. He kept seeing the little girl's face etched with fear of him as she stopped breathing.

 

Sitting back in the pilot's seat, Aeryn took another drink from the cup she held. She jerked up hearing John screams reach her through the walls separating them, sending a chill down her spine.

Standing up, she began to cross the room. Just as suddenly as they began, the screams stopped. Within a few microts, she could hear John's uneven footsteps coming towards her.

His hair sticking up unevenly, he stumbled slightly as he entered into command and grabbed onto a chair near him,

"Are you all right?" She asked as John sat down in the chair. As he looked up at her, she could see his eyes were bloodshot.

Waving his hand distantly, "I'm fine."

Sitting back down, she turned the seat to face him. "You do not look `fine`, and in fact you look like dren. How much sleep did you get?"

"Enough. Why don't you get some rest? I'll keep an eye out up here."

Instead of saying anything, she turned the chair back around and looked at the chronometer and saw she still had four arns left. "No, I'll finish my shift."

She heard him sigh, "Aeryn...there's no reason for the both of us being exhausted. I can't sleep anyway...so go and get some rest."

Sitting back in her seat, she said, "You are right, but I want to finish my drink." Picking up the cup again, she made a point of taking a small sip.

"What is that you're drinking?"

"Vera root, it is similar to coffee." She remembered how he used to say he craved coffee when he first arrived on Moya.

He let out a humorless chuckle. " I didn't even know I had that in here. I could use that right now. Where's it at?" he asked as he stood up and walked towards the galley."

"Third shelf, behind the Noask," she called after him as she stood to return her now empty cup to the galley.

Following John, she watched his movements. Even with obvious fatigue plaguing him, he projected an aura of focus she had never noticed about him before. His relaxed gait was gone; in its place was a body rigid with tension as he entered into the galley. `That’s mostly my fault,' she thought, but couldn't take back all the words that she had said, no matter how much she wished.

Entering into the room, she washed out her cup and placed it on a rack to dry. Hoping this was the right time to talk to him about what she said, she turned and waited for her opportunity.

Holding a canister in his hand, he turned and faced her, "This it?"

"Yes...you've never had it before?"

"No." Turning the container in his hands, he said, "There's no instructions on this. How do you make it?"

"Open it," Aeryn said, trying to hold back the smile that wanted to form.

John did as she said and looked inside, a look of surprise on his face. "It's like tea?" Laughing, he pulled out a small bag holding the Vera root. "So I just put this in water right?" he asked as he filled a cup with hot water.

"Yes...You have several very good food selections here. Didn't you eat any of it?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he said, "I stuck to what I'm familiar with."

"So food cubes..." She couldn't stop the smile this time.

Looking at her, John returned her smile, "For the most part. Especially after the mishap with the grohlak."

Wrinkling her nose at the imagined smell, she said, "I'm glad I missed that one."

Laughing lightly at the memory, as his thumb absently stroked his bottom lip, he replied, "It was pretty...bad, and the smoke alarm almost drove me crazy. I was about two microts from putting on an EVA suit and venting the ship before I found the wires and pulled them."

"Well if you had, you wouldn't have been the first to do so."

It felt so good to be able to see him laugh at the idea of a ship full of commandos standing around in EVA suits because someone burnt their dinner. As the image filtered through her mind, she found herself laughing at the idea as well.

His laughter died slowly as he looked at her. "Aeryn, you should really get some rest while you can."

Swallowing hard, she forced herself to say the words she what she didn’t even want to think about. "I will...in a moment. First I want...I want to talk to you about before. What I said...I know I should not have believed what I saw and a part of me didn't...refused to believe it. It was just..."

"You were watching me frelling that bitch," John said and she was surprised by the hatred that echoed through his words.

Nodding her head in agreement, "For the most part, I couldn't hear what was being said, you were..." It felt as if she had a large stone sitting in the center of her chest and found it difficult to breathe for a moment.

"Don't...please don't do this Aeryn." His eyes pleaded along with his words.

She couldn't stop herself from continuing, she had to say this...to make him understand why she acted the way she did after all that he had gone through to rescue her. "The one time I did hear what was being said, you were pledging your loyalty to the Peacekeepers...for 'her.'"

Hanging his head, John didn't say a word, leaning against the counter, his shoulders slumped. They both stood in silence; she could see him struggling to find the words. The quiet in the room stretched on for too long. Finally it became too much for her, but she wasn't surprised to find it was John who broke the silence first.

His words were almost too low for her to hear. "I have no defense for what you saw except to say that the only thing I remember is making love to you. Telling you my dreams of our future...yours, mine, and the baby...together. She stole them, my dreams for us. I should have killed her for that alone..." His movements were almost too fast for her to see as he abruptly turned and punched the steel cabinet behind him, creating a large dent in its surface.

"John!" Rushing across the room, she caught his arm before he could throw another blow. "What the frell are you doing?" she exclaimed as she turned him. His body was coiled tightly; his breath came in heavy gasps as he tried to control himself. Searching his eyes, she was frightened to see such hollow rage within the soft blue that had always looked at her with love. Only now the blue was hard and she felt as if they would cut once they fell upon her.

Wetting a cloth, she applied it to the cracked and bleeding knuckles as his breathing began to even itself out. "John...bend your hand, I need to see if you broke anything."

Bending the fingers, he let out a soft hiss, but he was able to completely close the hand.

"You're lucky." Looking back up his face, she said softly, "Now what the frell were you trying to prove by doing that?"

"I don't know," he said, "I had to hit something and since she isn't here..."

"You thought you would attack a defenseless metal door." Taking in a sharp breath, she shook her head, "It wasn't that long ago, I would have done the same thing..." She felt a stab of pain when John yanked his hand out of her own.

"I have to get back up front. I'll let you know when I hear from Moya." Walking past her, John made his way to the door.

 


 

'I am such a fucking ass!' he thought as he dropped into the pilot's seat. Rubbing his face, he wanted to go back to the galley and apologize to Aeryn. He had no right to take his frustration out on her; she had only given him another reminder of how much he acted like a Peacekeeper. He felt himself slipping more and more into this persona, no matter how much he fought against it now, and it terrified him.

When would it stop? At what point will he stop being John Crichton, human...or was he already gone? Another casualty of John Crichton, the Peacekeeper...he couldn't tell anymore.

Closing his eyes, he tried to control his breathing, his heart still beating rapidly from the little display he had just put on for Aeryn. Here she was, actually reaching out to him after all that he had done, and he pushed her away again. This time he couldn't blame it on the Lakka either.

Sighing as he opened his eyes, he jumped when he saw Harvey sitting in the co-pilot's seat next to him, "Damn...I didn't mean to fall asleep, guess Aeryn was right."

"You are not asleep, John...I am really here speaking to you."

It took him a moment to realize what Harvey meant, "Scorpius lied, he said he took you out of my head," he growled out.

"Scorpius ordered me to leave you alone...to give you some peace."

Staring head of him at the expanse of stars, he refused to look at the neural clone. "Then what was with the cameo appearances in the dreams?"

He could feel Harvey's eyes on him as he spoke, "My priority has continued to keep you safe when I am able. That also includes your mental well being in the case of your nightmares...such when you were under the influence of the good Commandant’s drugs. If I had not made you aware of your situation, you could have spent the rest of existence thinking you were with Aeryn. When in reality she would have long been executed."

"And now...why come reveal to me that you are really hanging around in my head?"

Leaning forward, Harvey placed his leather-covered hand on his arm. "Fail-safe. You were entertaining thoughts of not saving Scorpius, and in so doing going back on your deal to give him the wormhole technology."

Jerking his arm away from the other's grasp, he glared at the figure.

Giving a chastised grin, Harvey continued. "Scorpius, as you would say, upgraded me to... Harvey two point oh. One of my many improvements... utter loyalty to Scorpius."

Standing up, he began to pace the room, "That's not an improvement."

He could hear soft sound of leather rustling against the seat as Harvey stood as well. "Oh, but it is. His course is the correct one... eliminate the Scarran threat."

"You know I don't give a damn about his agenda. I’m taking Aeryn back to Moya and with the Scarrans having his ass...I won’t have to worry about him."

"John, you must go to Katratzi and retrieve Scorpius..."

"I don't have..."

A smile played on Harvey’s lips as he said, "He knows everything you know, John."

Unable to draw a breath, he choked out, "What. Did. You. Say?"

Harvey leaned closer to him. "I said...Scorpius knows everything you know. It is an added precaution that Scorpius implemented. Scorpius can hear me and I have enjoyed sharing `everything` with him: memories, thoughts, dreams..." Taking the final step that separated them; Harvey wrapped an arm over his shoulder, smiling, "...wormhole technology."

"No...there's no way, you're lying."

The Pooka's lips hung just beside his ear, "Eventually...they will torture the information out of him and they will use wormholes to decimate the universe...courtesy of John Crichton."

He found himself standing alone in command, trembling with anger and wondering how he could find a way onto Katratzi.

 


 

She couldn't sleep. John's behavior in the galley continued to bother her as she lay tossing in bed. Something about him seemed different, off, since they had escaped.

Opening her eyes, she heard John voice, "Kiss your whore ass goodbye Commandant." He was looking down at Grayza. A microt later drove the knife in his hand through the center of something that appeared to be flesh that he held in his other hand and tearing it into two pieces.

She had never seen such a look on John's face before; there had been no emotion. Once Grayza was unconscious, he stared at the blood on his hands before wiping them on Grayza's clothing. At that moment all she could think and feel was he was trying to hide his exploits from her. The fact that he despised lies and deception hadn't even entered into her thoughts at the moment.

Sitting up on the bed, she remembered hearing John pass by her door a short time earlier. Thinking he may have gone back to the galley, she left her room to see if he was all right.

Finding the galley empty, she looked down the hall and saw John's shadow move across the doorway of the armory. She frowned at the idea that there was a problem and he hadn't attempted to wake her. `If he thinks just because I am pregnant that I can not handle dangerous situations, I will frelling kill him,' she thought, angrily walking down the passageway.

As she entered the doorway, her words died before she spoke as she saw him stripping down a lerg-seven pulse disrupter. She knew for a fact that John had never held one, much less field stripped one of these weapons before.

His hands moved over the weapon as if born to it, each movement completely controlled, his eyes never straying as he spoke, "Can I help you with something?"

"Nothing...no, I found I couldn't sleep as well. Too much Vera root I think." Walking further into the room, she sat down across from John as he continued; she was impressed with how quickly he worked on the task in front of him. She watched him slap the final piece into place once it was reassembled.

Standing up, he placed the disruptor back onto the rack and exchanging it for a standard issue pulse rifle. Sitting back down, he began stripping it as well.

"Where did you learn to do this?" she asked, unable to hide the pride in her voice.

"Had some time on my hands."

Looking at the disruptor, she asked, "Do you know how to use the disruptor? It has..."

"Yes. I know...I've used it a few times."

John's answer surprised her; these weapons were only used when orders were given to level entire building structures and the people inside them. The shock must have been evident on her face as she looked from the weapon then back to John and found him staring at her.

His voice was completely devoid of emotion as he spoke, "Does this surprise you? Well, don't be..."

He looked back down at the rifle he continued to clean. "I should have known something was up the way Grayza dropped off men only to pick up more. She was leaving me frelling bread crumbs and I followed them like a good little lap dog."

"Bread...crumbs?"

"Yeah, leaving me just enough information for me to trace her and hopefully...you, to the next location."

She placed her hand on John's to stop his movements. "John...what happened?"

He didn’t look at her, his voice a soft rasp as he stared at his hands holding the pulse rifle. "I killed them all...every frelling one of them for what they did to you." He gave her a quick side-glance and licked his lips. "I saw the interrogation vid chip, and some of the men told me how they raped you...not details, but they told me enough. They won't be bragging anymore."

Sitting in shock, she couldn't believe what John had just said. It was not only what he said, but also how he said it. With the exception of the quick glance he had given her, she felt as if she had been given a summery field report.

Raped...the word hung in her mind like a beacon; he had killed so many men out of vengeance while trying to find her. How did she tell him it had never happened? Her feelings raged back and forth whether to tell him.

John abruptly stood ,and she realized he had finished the pulse rifle and was about to retrieve another.

"We should arrive back at Moya at any time. Why are you preparing these weapons?" She asked as he turned back to their seats.

His step faltered for a microt before he sat down once more. "Because once I have you back home safe, I'm going after Scorpius. The Scarrans captured him at Katratzi and..." Hesitating, he stared down at the floor.

"And what? What is it you are not telling me?" she demanded.

"Scorpius lied, he never removed Harvey...in fact he improved the bastard." He looked up at her, his eyes cold and angry as they stared into hers, "Giving a direct link to my thoughts and memories."

"Including wormhole technology..." She knew what he was going to say before he said it and she made up her mind in less than a blink of an eye. "I am going with you."

"No...you're not. There isn't going to be any discussion on this, Aeryn" Looking at the rack of weapons, he said, "I'll finish these later."

She was already at the door blocking him. "This is most certainly `not' over with John."

"Aeryn, you've already made your feelings for me known. Why do you want to come with me?"

'Small steps, small steps.'

"Perhaps I realized you were telling the truth." She fought to keep the tremor she felt from reaching her voice.

A crooked smile touched his lips. "Thank you, you don't know what that means to me."

"I `am' coming with you."

Shaking his head, he said, "I just got you back and I won't lose you again." Bending down, he placed a kiss softly on her lips. "I have to go over the schematics for Katratzi and figure out how to get Scorpius out of there."

It felt as if alarm bells sounded throughout her body as she watched John walk down the hall towards command once more. She had seen him determined and desperate in his attempts to keep the wormhole technology out of his enemies hands before, but there was something about him now that reached unknown depths and that idea frightened her. It felt too much like losing him.

 


 

John didn't answer his comm signal for almost three arns, and she was almost to the door of the Marauder when she heard his voice finally. "Aeryn, I'm having the fuel delivered along with some supplies we may need. So don't go near the cargo hold until these guys are gone."

"Why the frell haven't you answered your comms?" she said angrily.

"I had to turn off my comms for a while. They have beacons on every frelling corner of this place and I couldn't take the chance that you would say my name at the wrong time."

"So how did..."

"I'll explain when I get back inside. I should only be half an arn while I keep an eye on these guys. I'm turning off now."

She heard the soft beep as he cut the signal to his comm. Sitting down in the pilot's seat, she turned on the outside visuals and watched as several men approached the ship with numerous containers of different sizes. One man kept entering the side door to the cargo hold, and pointing to the laborers as they moved things inside. Finally as the men exited the ship, she watched as they were paid and quickly departed. Except for the one man who had directed them.

She watched as he approached the outer hatch and entered in the code to open the door. Grabbing her pulse pistol, she stood just inside the door as it opened and waited for him to enter.

She was surprised to hear John's voice just outside the door, "Aeryn...I know you have a pulse pistol in your hand right now pointed at the door. I'm coming in, but don't shoot...and I'll explain the different appearance."

Slowly he entered the room, "Aeryn...it's me." She could clearly hear John's voice coming from this stranger's mouth.

"What...the...frell?" She said in shock as she lowered her weapon and approached him. Slowly circling him, she couldn't seem to take in the differences in him as he silently stood waiting.

"John?" she said once she faced him again and touched his face lightly.

"Yeah...it's me. Sorry to surprise you with this...I didn't think about it until I comm’d you. It's something that Scorpius came up with to keep me from being recognized while in Peacekeeper space."

She couldn't think of anything to say as she circled around him, once more looking at every aspect in his change in appearance. Stopping in front of him, she looked into his eyes and was relieved to see they had at least stayed the same. Even though they appeared more fatigued and empty than she was accustomed to. There was nothing left of him that she could see, except for maybe the build of his body which filled out the commando leather tightly.

Stiffening her back to hide the unease she felt, she said, "I don't like it, change back."

"What?" he said with surprise.

Her voice took on a slightly anxious tone as she said, "I said change back, this...is too strange."

"I can't...not for at least another arn. It wears off two arns after I use the injection."

After all the changes in John's behavior of late, she couldn't seem to handle the change in his face as well. It felt as if he was finally gone from her completely, and she didn't like the feeling for one microt.

"Well, in that case, I'll be sorting through the supplies you brought aboard until this wears off," she said, waving to his appearance.

"No. I'll do that. Why don't you get us out of here? We should be at the exact coordinates within the next twelve arns.

"Very well," she said, giving a slight nod of her head before turning towards the front of the ship. She heard him mumble something under his breath as he turned away from her and she smiled. It gave her a small bit of comfort that at least that part of him had not changed much.

The changes in John's face only added more to her growing list of concerns for him since his outburst several days before. He had spent arns going over the data chip with the information on Katratzi, and the only time he had seemed to look up was when he couldn't decode a Sebacean word and asked her. It had been one of the rare times he spoke to her, which was not like him, and it reminded her of when he had been taking the Lakka from the old woman. When she asked him if he had begun taking the substance once more, all he said was he had no use for it anymore.

 


 

Nearing the pre-determined coordinates, John sent out a special signal designed by Moya and Pilot, an identification marker specifically for him alone. She watched as he searched using the crosshatch search parameters typically utilized by the Peacekeepers Commandos.

Soon they spotted a ship on their scanners. The signal the ship emitted was the correct configuration, but from outward appearances it looked as if they were looking at a private pleasure craft. To their surprise, the ship began to shimmer against the darkness, until the familiar lines of Moya's frame began to take shape.

"There she is."

She smiled at John's whispered words. "Moya has never looked more beautiful to me." Relief flooded her. Moya was now a part of her heart, and her occupants were an extension of her soul. She was home.

"You want to do the honors?" John asked quietly.

A mischievous smile grew on her face as she touched the communications control. "Pilot...Moya, this is the vessel Kitt requesting permission to board."

"Officer Sun...Aeryn, is that really you?"

"Yes Pilot, it is really me."

She could hear the excitement in Pilot's voice as he said, "Deploying the docking web immediately."

She felt the ship shudder slightly as the web wrapped around them and pulled them inside.

John began touching the controls. "Why don't you go grab your things while I shut this bird down."

"Do you want me to bring your belongings as well?" she asked.

Shaking his head, he said, "No, that's all right. I'll grab them on the way out."

 


 

Thump...thump...slap...thump

Tilting her head in curiosity, Chiana followed the sound down the corridor until she stood outside the maintenance bay. Seeing the edge of Aeryn's workout mat on the floor, she shook her head and whispered to herself, "That woman never listens to anyone." Smiling, she chuckled at the idea of a chance to tease the ex-Peacekeeper.

Walking into the room, she was surprised to find John working out instead. No one had seen him since he and Aeryn had returned three solar days before when he had silently left the dinner she had made to welcome them back to Moya. She remembered he had barely spoken during the dinner, finding different ways of avoiding their questions directed at him. Aeryn had provided some of the details herself, every once in a while giving John a questioning look which he ignored by looking down at his plate of food.

John paused in his movements, giving a quick jerk of his head and she heard the pop of his neck from where she stood just inside the door. His hair was soaked and lay flattened against his head. His upper body glistened with sweat as he rolled his shoulders.

"What can I do for you, Pip?" he asked as he rounded his leg upward, hitting the top of the dummy. Turning his hip slightly, he began punching it once more.

"Nothing, Old Man, just came in here to tease Aeryn and found you instead." She couldn't help but notice how his body was harder and leaner than before he had left to find Aeryn. Each time John's fist contacted against the hardened leather, the muscles in his shoulders and back rippled for a microt before tightening once more.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me or do you have something else on your mind, Chiana?" Stopping as he asked the question, John walked over to where his towel and water lay against the wall near where she stood.

There was something different about the way he moved across the room, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it as she asked him, "What happened while you were gone? You've kept yourself hidden from everyone since you and Aeryn came back."

Wiping the sweat off of his face, John hesitated before saying, "Grayza happened."

Knowing what was going to be said, she couldn't help the apprehension she suddenly felt. "Li...Like before?"

Shaking his head, he said, "No...worse."

Stepping closer to him, she asked, "Does Aeryn know about this time?"

"Yeah," John said quietly and surprised her by taking a step back away from her. "Grayza forced her to watch it all."

Her reaction was instantaneous and all she wanted to do was to get her hands on Grayza for doing that to her friends, "Frell...that tralk!"

John's immediate laughter was harsh, without a trace of humor in it, "No thank you. Been there, done that, and I don't want the goddamn t-shirt."

"How did you both get away?"

"What do we do best?" he said, reaching for his shirt.

Smiling sadly, she said, "You shot your way out of there."

Pulling on his shirt, John didn't say anything as he walked towards the door.

Calling after him, she said, "Please tell me you killed the bitch this time."

Without turning around, he said, "Better...I gave her a one way ticket to the Living Death."

Following a short distance behind John, she wished she knew what to say to him. He was cutting himself off from everyone the way he had done the last time Grayza had frelled with him. He had sat in his module for several days as it was being towed behind Lo'La, finally only agreeing to join them when the module ran out of oxygen once more. The forced exposure to the rest of them had helped him come out of the shell he had built around himself.

`So that's what I'll do this time too,' she thought as she continued behind him.

 


 

He could hear her following him, and it was beginning to annoy him. Didn't Chiana understand that he just wanted to be alone? He loved the fact that she was concerned for him, but there were some things a person had to face on his own.

Entering his room without turning on the lights, he looked at Chiana angrily as she stepped in before he could lock the door. 'Damn she’s persistent,' he thought as he threw his dirty towel into the chair. Hoping she would get the point if he ignored her, he began pulling out a clean change of clothing.

She made a soft noise behind him, and he turned around to ask her to leave. He saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, and noticed how the light shining through the grating of the door fell against Chiana's skin, deepening its natural shadows. Her hair appeared haloed, highlighting her natural beauty.

Staring at her, he felt himself grow hard, his skin feeling as if it was on fire. He wanted to touch her so badly every dench of his body ached.

Crossing the short distance of the room, he reached down and took her hand, pulling her up.

"What the frell are you doing Crichton?" Chiana asked as she smiled at him.

He could feel the heat radiating off of her body, she was a blaze and he couldn't help being drawn to her and it ignited his blood in turn.

Tilting his head downward, his need making it near impossible to speak, his voice was low as he forced himself to finally speak, "Ya know...you are `very' beautiful, Chiana."

Chiana looked at him nervously. "Crichton...you're...you're freaking me out here." She gave a nervous laugh as she said the words.

He couldn't understand why he wanted her so badly, to taste, to touch, to be inside her. His lips brushed against hers as she tried to move her head away. He whispered, "I'm only coming to my senses and taking you up on your 'many' offers." His hands slid up and down her hips.

Chiana jerked away, taking several steps back away from him. "What the frell is wrong with you?! What about Aeryn?!"

"What 'about' Aeryn? You're here...she's not, and it's only releasing fluid levels. She’ll understand about that." Smiling, he couldn't resist adding as he took a step toward her retreating figure, "Aren't you due to release some pressure?"

"What the frell is wrong with you? You're 'not' like this!" she yelled, her arms and legs slightly bent as if waiting for him to make a move towards her.

He could see Chiana was becoming frightened of him, and he didn't want that, never wanted to hurt her. A feeling of loathing over his actions filled him, he thought 'I care too much for Chi to do this to her, to scare her.' He had to get her out of the room before he said or did anything else that would further hurt her.

Taking a step back, he said, "I think you should go now." She stood staring at him for a moment. "Get the frell out of here Chiana!! Now!!" he screamed, his hand shaking as he pointed at the door.

She didn't hesitate a second time. Opening the door, she looked at him for a microt before turning and running down the corridor.

His body shaking with desire, he still wanted her. `What the fuck is wrong with me?' he thought as he crossed the room to the door and locked it. Leaning his head against the door, he tried to fight the feelings that coursed through his body.

Something was wrong. There was no way he wanted Chiana in that way. Nothing about him was in control anymore. He thought once he and Aeryn had returned to Moya, he could relax. At least enough to think of a way to get himself into Katratzi and close enough to finish what the Scarrans had started when they took Aeryn. During the dinner he couldn't stand the sounds of the crew's voices, their questions. He noticed the looks that Aeryn continually gave him during the meal. Finally he had to get out of the room before he said or did something that he would regret. He was pissing away the only good things he had left in life and he couldn't stop the emotional roller coaster he found himself on.

Standing up from the door, he sensed something out of the corner of his eye. Spotting Harvey smiling in the corner of the darkened room, the feelings inside of him dramatically switched from desire to pure hatred. "Get the fuck out of here..." he growled before grabbing a clean towel and going into the refresher for the shower he desperately needed.

 


 

Leaning against the doorframe of her quarters, he watched Sikozu pace her room lost in her thoughts.

"You worried about your main squeeze?" he asked, slightly amused when he saw her jump at the sound of his voice.

"Crichton, why are we not yet going after Scorpius? Aeryn said that he had been captured while he was trying to find 'her'."

Stepping into the room, he said, "Oh I'm going after Scorpius, don't you worry your pretty little head over that." He walked towards her slowly, noting that she became slightly agitated as he neared her, and chalked it up to the fact that the last time they were in a room alone he had a pulse pistol to her head.

"Only thing is...to enter Scarran space I'm going to need a security clearance beacon. Which is where I need `your' help Miss...Sikozu Shanu." Swiftly crossing the room, he didn't give her a chance to react to his words. He pushed her against the wall, when she fought to push him away, he could see the fear in her eyes.

"I don't think so..." Placing both hands on the wall on either side of her head, when he spoke his words were cold as ice. "Now we're going to have a little talk about Scarrans...and Kalish spies."

 


 

Sighing with impatience, D’Argo asked Chiana as she came into the room, "Do you know why John wanted us to meet him here in Command?" He wondered at the frown that crossed her face when he mentioned John's name.

"No, I don't," she said quietly. He could see that something was bothering her. Just as he was about to ask her she crossed the room towards him.

Her body twitched nervously as she spoke in a whisper. "Ha...Have you noticed anything strange about Crichton since he returned?"

"Yes. He hasn't spoken to anyone...not even Aeryn since they arrived, and that is very unusual for him. Why?"

Hesitating for a moment, Chiana was unsure if she should say anything to D'Argo, but the way John had acted when they were alone frightened her. Licking her lips she said, "He...He said and...and did some things earlier. It scared the frell out of me. He wasn't acting right."

"What did he do, Chiana?" A voice said behind them.

They both turned to see Aeryn standing in the doorway of Command. D'Argo could see from the way that Aeryn looked at Chiana that something was going on that he hadn't been made aware of.

Looking between the two women, he asked, "What the frell is going on with John?"

D'Argo watched as Chiana appeared to debate something within herself before speaking, "He said something ab...about releasing body fluids."

Spending enough time being a prisoner of the Peacekeepers he recognized the term and what it meant. Since he had known John, the human had never associated sex as just recreating or 'releasing body fluids.'

The look on Aeryn's face told him there was more going on than what Chiana had just mentioned. He saw her about to speak when they all heard John's voice carry down the corridor.

"Come on Sikozu, move it!" he said harshly.

Sikozu walked into the room two steps ahead of John, giving him several quick glances before stopping at the strategy table.

"What is going on here John?" Aeryn asked as Rygel and Noranti entered the room as well.

John stopped in the center of the room, his back straight as he tucked his thumbs into the edge of his belt and looked at each of them in turn. "I'm sure Aeryn has already told you that I'm going after Scorpius and my reasons why. The final sticking point I had to figure out...was how to travel through Scarran space to get to Katratzi."

Crossing his arms, D'Argo frowned as he asked, "How do you plan on doing this?"

"The lovely Sputnik here has discovered the value of teamwork." He looked in Sikozu's direction. "Isn't that right?"

Chiana seemed to squirm uncomfortably at the coldness in John's voice, catching Aeryn's attention, and she remembered Chiana's words as she entered the room came back to her, "He said something ab...about releasing body fluids." She couldn't help the feelings of hurt and rejected when she heard this, but she also knew this was definitely not the way John thought. He had never had casual approach to sex. Aeryn couldn't help thinking maybe he didn't want to be with her in that way because he thought she had been raped, or being around her was a reminder of how he had been unable to stop it. Pushing aside these stray thoughts, she focused her attention to the man standing in the center of the room. Everything, from the way he stood to the tone of his voice reminded Aeryn of her time in the Peacekeepers.

Looking in Sikozu's direction, she could see the fear in Sikozu's eyes as she quickly nodded her head, "Yes...I will be going to the Scarran boarder station and acquiring the security beacons that Crichton requires."

Something had happened between the two of them. Sikozu's only feelings for the crew since Aeryn had met the girl seemed to be contempt; this fear towards John was entirely new. Studying her for a moment, Aeryn asked, "How will you manage this?"

"The Kalish are used for many bureaucratic functions, it should not be hard to convince them that I am on official business."

John turned and looked at Aeryn, his eyes appearing almost dead as he said, "She'll do fine, she has the stuck-up attitude that goes with the role." He took a step towards her before he spoke again and a small light returned to his face, "I just wanted to get you all together to let you know that we are leaving in two arns for the border station. I left without a word last time, and...just in case...I didn't want to do that again."

D’Argo quickly stepped forward, saying loudly, "What do you mean? Leaving in an arn? You are NOT going into Katratzi without me..."

Fear gripped Aeryn’s stomach; she wasn’t leaving his side ever again. "Nor without me as well and you frelling know that, John." There was no way in hezmana he was leaving her behind.

"Not this time, this has been my game from the beginning...and I'm finishing it. I won't endanger any of you." John focused his eyes onto Aeryn's. "Especially you." Looking back to D'Argo and the others, "Besides...I have the one thing the Scarrans understand and that is power. I've almost completed building a fission bomb..."

His words seemed to hit her with the power of a storm bolt from a Command Carrier frag cannon. "NO!!" She screamed as she crossed the room, her mind reeling with the words and images of `his' last moments.

Grabbing John's arm, she turned him to face her. "You are going to find another way to do this John! I will not lose you again!"

Placing his hand on hers he spoke quietly, "It's not your choice now, is it? I have to do this and you know it. They can't be allowed to have the wormhole technology."

He looked away at the sound of D'Argo voice, "This is madness, Crichton. Where do you plan on finding the material for this fission bomb?"

"I already have it in the Marauder..."

"You brought radioactive material onto Moya without consulting anyone?!" D'Argo yelled, charging forward.

John didn't move as he stared at the charging Luxan. As D'Argo grabbed him by the front of his jacket he said, "It's in a safe container. Do you think I would have brought it on board the Marauder...around Aeryn, if I wasn't sure it was stored properly?" He paused for a microt and looked down at the hands holding onto him, "Now I suggest you let go of me now D'Argo, before one of us says something he'll regret."

D'Argo now realized what Chiana meant when she asked if he had noticed something unusual about how John had been acting. He couldn't wrap his mind around how callously John had acted by not warning them all of the danger he had brought on board. D'Argo growled out, "By the way you are acting, you do not give a frell about Moya `or' Aeryn." Staring down at the human a moment longer, he finally released him and backed away. "Pilot! Are you detecting any radioactivity coming from the Marauder?"

"No, Captain D'Argo, if I had...you would have been alerted immediately."

He turned as John spoke once more, "None of you have to worry about it. Like I said, Sikozu and I are leaving within the next two arns. She's taking a transport pod and I'm going in the Marauder."

He didn't give anyone a chance to protest as he abruptly left the room, grabbing Sikozu's arm and stating, "Come on, girl, you have to go pack your things."

 


 

Aeryn watched silently as John picked up another tool and adjusted a small light to see the component in his hand more clearly.

"Go ahead and say it...I know you want to," he said quietly.

"What? That you are completely insane...That you are going to get us frelling killed? I think you already know this John."

As he turned his head slightly in her direction, she wasn't surprised by his answer. "Us? I told you...you're not coming along." Facing her completely, he leaned against the bench. It appeared as if he were almost struggling not to show the worry he felt. It was a relieving contrast to what she had seen from him lately. "I don't want you to come along..."

"You are not going alone."

"Aeryn...it's too dangerous."

"Which is why I am going as well."

Standing up straight he took a step towards her. "Aeryn..."

"No, you gave me basically what constitutes an ultimatum. Well, this is mine. I am going with you. I understand that you want to keep the wormhole knowledge out of Scorpius' and the Scarrans hands, but I will not allow you to commit suicide..."

"It's not suicide. It's a rescue and at the same time, I'm going to hand out a little justice for what they did to you," he said, turning away, and began putting the assembled components inside a container.

Stepping to the bench, she looked inside. "Is that it?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's small, but it's going to pack one hell of a punch in the stomach for the Scarrans."

"What are you going to do if they use their heat probe to incapacitate you?"

Pointing to wires that hang from the side of the bomb, he said, "See that? Dead man switch, my body heat goes too far above a certain point and it's bye-bye birdie."

She looked at it closely and said, "The connection is too loose...if you are knocked down or have to run, it will not ignite the explosives. I suggest you use a ferket connector instead, less likely to happen if you use that."

He looked her with surprise at the tip. "Thanks."

Searching over the bench, he could see that he didn't any of the connectors on hand. When he didn't see any on top, he bent down to look in the storage containers beneath the bench.

Standing up once he found them, he saw D'Argo standing next to Aeryn and also looking down at the devise he created. "D'Argo, if you've come to..."

"I would suggest you use more than one dead man switch for this, to cover every possible contingency. We already know that the Scarrans will try anything to gain this technology, so you might want to play it safe."

"What? You want to go now too?!" John said, he couldn't believe them; maybe he should have left without saying goodbye again. Suddenly he heard Harvey's voice just behind him and knew the bastard was leaning close to his ear. "You will most certainly need strength in numbers John. Although...I do not see how imposing three against several hundred is going to be. You will most definitely need their greater military expertise.

D’Argo crossed his arms, and said with confidence he didn’t feel at the moment, "The Scarrans are going to find that if they frell with `one' of us...they frell with `all' us."

Nodding in agreement, John looked at Aeryn and D'Argo and said, "All right, but we do it exactly `my' way."

 


 

The metal was cold in his hand. In his barely contained anticipation, his index finger kept rubbing against the switch that would automatically ignite the explosives beginning the catastrophic chain reaction that would incinerate them into so much cosmic matter that it wouldn't even fill a thimble.

The idea of the Scarrans turning into nothing more than dust brought a smile to his face and he whispered, "Big Badaboom."

Harvey appeared directly across from him as he continued to massage the control in anticipation. "This will not be a simple matter, John. While admire your usual bravado, I think you should go over your plan for when you are within Katratzi's walls and facing Emperor Staleek."

Smiling, he looked the phantom in the eye and said, "I thought I would walk in and announce, `I am here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...and I am all out of bubble gum!"

Shaking his head, Harvey said, "While that is quite appropriate, I do believe that only cause more confusion to the situation, and you need to be very precise in the way you deal with Ruling Class Scarrans."

"I know...I was being a smart ass. Thought you'd have caught onto my style of humor by now, Harvey."

Standing, Harvey crossed the small space separating them and sat next to him. Leaning close he said, "I have some important information to impart to you regarding Emperor Staleek and the Ruling Class Scarrans..."

Aeryn turned frowning as John whispered to himself. The sight of him sitting back so relaxed while holding such a weapon of destruction brought tangible fear to her heart.

"Aeryn..." D'Argo said at the controls in the other seat.

Looking over at him, she saw him touch several controls and asked, "What is it?"

"We just passed their proximity sensors," he said, just as an alarm sounded in front of him.

Aeryn's stomach tightened in anticipation and fear of walking into the center of every Sebacean's nightmare. Hearing a shuffling sound behind her, she turned to see John standing with an injector in his hand.

He looked at her and asked, "Is it done changing yet?"

She shook her head at the same moment D’Argo turned and said, "No...you still have your normal appearance.

His lips tightening in irritation, John said, "It's usually instant. My body must have flushed out the virus already."

Suddenly John's hair began to fade, his facial muscles rippling and becoming fuller. When it was done, John Crichton no longer stood before them. In his place, stood a man he called Captain Solo.

D'Argo's mouth opened and closed rapidly in shock of what he had just witnessed, "It...it changed, John."

"Good...it's about frelling time"

At that moment a voice sounded over Lo'La's comm system, "Konach! Konach ket!"

John looked down where Sikozu sat on the floor. "Get up and answer him."

Standing up, Sikozu stood behind D'Argo's seat and said, "Navhka vey Captain Solo verra yay-reta Aeryn Sun isle-ka derdsta bek. Bleekza vey chotnco Emperor Staleek."

"Vwelsa makat, verr cizuv klwov."

John looked at her as the comm went silent. "What did he say?"

"He will return shortly with an answer. They will want visual confirmation of Aeryn's custody."

His voice was indifferent as he said, "All right, get in back unless I call you."

Sikozu quickly moved towards the back as John instructed. He looked at Aeryn as she stood. "No, stay there. If I have to say this dren, they have to get a good look at you when I say it."

She smiled at him when he said that. John had debated with her when she suggested they use her as a means of gaining entrance into the base.

"Just put the restraints on me, John, so I can do my part of the performance," she said.

Clicking the manacles in place, he said, "I'm sure you'll just love to do your part. Well, put on your best game face, we're fixin’ to be on Candid Camera." Looking at her wrists, he said, "Try and see if you can slip your hands out of there."

With a jerk of her wrists, her hands were free in less than two microts.

"Good."

It was taking too long for a response to their request to speak to the Emperor. Aeryn watched as John stared off vacantly as they waited.

"John," Harvey whispered, "Remember your lover's face, her lovely raven hair, her spicy smell. Think what Scarrans do to Peacekeeper females. Do you want that for Aeryn? Strike them before they act. They will rape Aeryn. They all deserve to die."

John's forehead was beaded with sweat and his fingers trembled against his leg as the bomb's lights began to pulsate more rapidly in Lo'La's dim light. He ground his teeth in anger.

'At least they haven't tried to shoot down or board the ship,` Aeryn thought. She looked over to where John stood and frowned at the bomb's blinking telltales as they shown through Crichton's coat. "Calm down, John. You are making the bomb nervous. There is always Plan B," she said. He looked over her way and tried to grin as he sat down in the floor, but it came out as a grimace.

After almost an arn, they all heard the soft beep announcing an incoming transmission.

"Kleiv slivk Emperor Staleek."

"It is the Emperor, John."

Jumping up and placing his hands behind his back, John said, "Go ahead and put it up, D'Argo."

D'Argo's hand paused for a microt just above the control for visual display when he realized John had understood the last transmission.

The view in front of them shifted, static covering a quarter of the screen before clearing. The imposing figure in red on the screen held an obvious air of regality. Smiling with false sincerity, he said, "This `is' a surprise. A Peacekeeper Captain returning a prisoner to us, and one that escaped with the aid of your very own Commandant Grayza. What have I done to deserve such an honor, Captain?"

"I am not exactly within High Command's good standing." he responded. Holding his chin high, John said, "Commandant Grayza overstepped herself on many levels while in attendance here, but her liberation of Officer Sun has benefited me immensely. I understand that you have captured Scorpius...I propose an exchange. You give me Scorpius, and I will give you this traitorous tralk."

John's hand moved to her hair, fingering several strands as the Emperor's gaze shift in her direction.

Aeryn knew this was her cue. Jumping up she lashed out, intending to strike John in the face. Swiftly he reached out, grabbing her by the back of the neck. Applying just enough pressure to make her wince with pain, he forced her to sit back down.

"And why would we care to have Officer Sun returned to us?" Staleek asked, shifting his eyes back in John's direction.

"You believe that the fetus she carries holds the key to wormhole technology. The Peacekeepers already have John Crichton, and when I departed they were very close to extracting the information from his mind. If you do not want to see the destruction of your race, I suggest you consider my offer."

"As to why...I am doing this to one of my own? I hate to see the pure blood lines sullied by the likes of this disgrace to the uniform." John again grabbed Aeryn by the hair and dragged her harshly up to his side. "I want this female to realize the results of her whoring, namely her own downfall. She is truly contaminated and needs to be punished. What better way than to trade her for Scorpius."

At that moment, John realized that somehow he meant the words he spoke, but he couldn't stop himself from speaking them. What was happening to him? His hand that continued to hold Aeryn's hair trembled as he glanced her way as she stood mutely by his side.

Smiling coldly, he responded, "Scorpius wasted precious time and money during his `research`, High Command does not appreciate this. I will be aptly and richly rewarded once I turned him over to High Command. Because of Grayza’s own blundering, no one knows that I have Officer Sun in my possession."

"A renegade Peacekeeper seeking a monetary reward for Scorpius' return....somehow that does not surprise me in the least." Staleek said with a sneer of disgust. At that moment, Aeryn saw Minister Ahkna walk up behind the Emperor. Leaning forward she whispered in his ear. As he turned his attention back to Captain Solo, Staleek said, "I will allow you to enter to 'discuss' this further, but the Luxan must remain on your ship."

With a quick nod of his head, John said, "Agreed."

"If there is nothing further, I will expect you shortly," Staleek said. The screen once more filled with static as the transmission was severed.

D'Argo jumped up from his seat after John walked to the back of the ship. "What are you doing, agreeing for me to stay behind? We should `not' be split up!"

John didn't even turn to face his angry friend. He said, "If you staying with the ship gets me close to Staleek, then you stay. Besides, we need you to keep the ship running in case we have to leave fast."

D'Argo opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when John held up his hand. "Remember...my way, D'Argo." Turning around, they could both feel the confidence that John exuded as he faced him. "We need to hurry and get inside. I only have about an arn left of this injection...if that. I don't like the fact it took so long to take effect. You have to trust me on this, if things go south...I expect you at the back door kicking it in."

"Well, I will be doing more than frelling kicking it in."

 


 

Time was running out and he knew it, at any moment the injection was due to wear off, and if they were not in Staleek's office at that moment when he dropped the other shoe...he and Aeryn both were frelled. It had taken too much time to land Lo'La under escort.

Aeryn walked in front of him as they were led through the halls of Katratzi, his hand never leaving her shoulder, giving an appearance of keeping her in control. As they had exited D'Argo's ship and the guards began to lead them, he had almost laughed at the Scarrans' confidence in their superiority. They had not even bothered to search them for concealed weapons.

"Do not let them get the upper hand, John. Be prepared. You are in enemy territory now. Remember, you will have your revenge. Be smart. Scarrans are not to be trusted."

Entering the room, two of the guards remained with them standing on either side of the door, their weapons slung across one arm. Looking down at the restraints around Aeryn's wrists, he pulled them off, and asked quietly, "You ready for this?"

She couldn't help this surprise from her voice when she said, "You are joking right?"

They both turned at the sound of the door behind them opening. Emperor Staleek entered, accompanied by War Minister Ahkna on his left, and an obviously high ranking Charrid soldier on his right.

Holding up his hand, the Emperor's escort stopped as he continued forward a few more steps. "No Command Carrier, no Marauder units, not even a personal guard to ensure your safety. You `are' quite bold to stride into this area of space in such a manner."

Keeping his back stiff, he said, "I am beyond the need for such a pompous show of power." he answered, looking at the figures standing near the door. Returning his eyes back towards the Emperor, he asked, "Now do we have a deal? Scorpius...for Aeryn Sun."

Staleek was silent for a moment; it felt as if the Scarrans' red eyes could see right through the false exterior as he said, "You mentioned the Peacekeepers have custody of John Crichton. Our latest reports state that he escaped with Officer Sun..." Each of the occupants of the room stared at him in puzzlement.

He felt Aeryn's hand grip his upper arm tightly. Glancing in her direction, he asked, "Injection wear off?"

The cold Peacekeeper mask on her face hiding all emotion from him, she said, "Yes, it did."

Turning away from Aeryn and taking a step forward, he looked at the Emperor, "Your reports were correct...I did escape with Officer Sun."

Staleek stared at him for a moment before chuckling, "The reports of your boldness are true, and what may I ask is there to keep me from seizing you both at this moment?"

"Maybe because of this..." He pushed away the side of the coat, revealing the soft glowing lights of the bomb.

"What is that?" Ahkna asked, looking at the device on his waist.

His eyes meeting Staleek's, he said, "Plutonium core, tritium shell...does that translate?"

"A fission bomb," Staleek said.

The guards that stood sentry lifted their weapons, pointing them in his direction. Staleek held up his hand and yelled, "Put those down!"

He almost laughed at the trace of fear apparent in the Scarran's voice. "Now, I suggest you send someone to go and fetch Scorpius before I get a wild hair up my ass...and decide this place should glow for the next million cycles."

"Why go through all of this for Scorpius? Are you afraid he will give up your precious wormhole secrets?" Ahkna said, taking two steps toward him.

"Ahkna is the one responsible for the abduction of Aeryn, John. She is one the highest in the Scarran Hierarchy, beside Emperor Staleek."

"Ahkna isn't it? You are...the one that took Aeryn in the first place." he said coldly. "How accurate are your reports of my capture and escape? Did they tell you what I did before that? I hunted down each and every Peacekeeper that frelled with Aeryn and me...I reveled in the smell of their flesh melting beneath a pulse blast...savored the look in their eyes as their blood spilled in my hand...and I am nowhere `near' done yet. Grayza has already found out what it feels like under the tip of a knife in my hand. Scorpius is just another entrée at the dinner table." He gave Ahkna an icy stare, "You're not too far down the line yourself."

Staleek walked over to a table near the wall and took several red leaves from a bowl and placed them in his mouth. After swallowing them, he gave a slight shake of his head and said, "I will not be sending anyone after Scorpius, he is too valuable a resource of information pertaining to High Command."

"Remember what I said about the flowers on Lo'La, John, that is your one bargaining chip, they need it as much as the air they breathe, and Staleek knows this."

Pulling out Winona, he pointed the pistol at the Emperor, "Crysterium Utilia." Cocking his head slightly, he said softly, "I know your little secret Emperor. It's your precious petunias for Scorpius...take it or leave it. All it takes is a flick of a switch...."

Staleek stared at him, but made no move to send for the half-breed.

Trying to hold his anger in check, his teeth grinding together as he said, "You won't bring him here? Fine. We'll go to him."

Emperor Staleek growled out, "If you believe I will allow such a weak species to undermine the strength of the Scarran Empire..."

"Tick...tock...tick...tock...time's a-waistin’. I suggest you get a move on." he said, pointing in the direction of the door.

"He's bluffing! He would never detonate the bomb with his mate so close," Ahkna called out.

"Remember...this will be Aeryn's fate if you allow them to stop you." Harvey said as he quickly flashed images of Scorpius' mother screaming as a Scarran repeatedly raped her.

"You've already failed to stop this from happening to her once. Even failed from it happening to yourself. Do not fail her again John."

Glancing in the War Minister's direction, he said, "Do you...really want to call me on that one? I would rather have her dead at my hand, than to live and suffer in yours." His eyes shifted in Aeryn's direction who smiled at him.

"Absolutely..." she said calmly, a slight smile playing just at the edge of her lips.

Shocked at Aeryn’s response, Ahkna exclaimed, "They're both insane!"

"And the fun has only just begun." he said turning back to the Emperor. John could see the Scarran did not like to lose as his gaze was returned after looking down that the bomb around on his hip.

Staleek held up his hand and said, "I will accompany him. No one is to interfere."

The Charrid that had accompanied Staleek into the room loudly protested as he lifted his weapon, "Emperor!"

"You're not too bright now, are you? Well, I guess I should have told you...I have multiple dead man sensors from every culture on my ship and a few cultures I haven't heard of. So in other words...you shoot me...you go BOOM!!" he screamed to drive home his point."

"Enough! You will do as I command. We cannot risk the Crysterium," Staleek said as he walked towards the door.

"You know, for my first hostage-taking...I think this is going rather well," he said quietly.

"You 'must' order Ahkna and the others across the room."

Aeryn took a step forward and stood at his side and said, "Yes, it is, but I suggest you have the Minister and the others move away from the doorway to prevent any stupid moves on their part."

"Already ahead of you." Looking at Ahkna, he said, "You and your friends move on the other side of the room away from the door."

Once the others cooperated, he motioned with Winona towards the door and said, "Go on, and let's make this a quick trip."

 


 

Entering the room, Aeryn thought she would gag on the smell of vomit and dried blood. Scorpius stood trussed up in the center of a rack, metal blades surrounding his head. John looked at the half-breed, then back to Staleek, "Have your men carry him," he said, waving his gun in Scorpius' direction.

"Growling in anger, Staleek looked at the guards on either side of the room. "Do as he says."

John felt the heat emanating from the guards from across the room. As they released each of Scorpius' arms, he began gagging and a thick green mucus-like substance flowed from the side of his head. Turning to Aeryn, he whispered, "This going to bother you being in here?"

She kept her eyes on the two guards as she said, "As long as we are not in here for very long."

Nodding his head, he looked at Staleek, pointing in Scorpius` direction, he said, "Tell them to turn down the heat, I want him to die at `my' hand, not from their incompetence!"

"You are pushing my patience too far Crichton."

"Blah...blah...blah..."

Aeryn leaned close to John's ear and whispered. "What the frell are you doing? Trying to piss him off even more?" He could almost hear the panic in her hushed tones.

"Yeah. You think it's working?"

"I frelling know it is, because you are beginning to piss 'me' off."

"Well, get in line baby...cause I ain't even near done," he said, giving her a quick glance, his eyes wild.

Taking a step back, Aeryn didn't say anything as the guards filed past the three of them, carrying Scorpius' prone body. She watched as John stepped to the side and tapped his finger against the edge of the bomb. It appeared he had regained some control, because now there was no expression at all on his face as he looked at Staleek and jerked his head in the direction of the guards.

John's control over the situation remained tight, but she knew...one misstep on his part and it would all dramatically change. Making their way swiftly through the base, she heard John say into the comm, "D'Argo! Lower the back door on Lo'La, we got a couple of packages coming in."

The rear hatch was completely down when they arrived in the landing bay.

"Take him inside and then get out." John ordered. Aeryn, John, and Staleek watched the Scarrans walk Scorpius into the Luxan ship and unceremoniously drop him on its floor. Sikozu quickly moved to his side with a fresh cooling rod and water.

"Now out!"

Aeryn heard the rest of the Emperor's contingent arrive in the room to see the two guards exit the ship.

John heard as well and turned around. "Oh goody...you're here for the floor show! Get inside Lo'La Aeryn!" he said, his voice steadily raising with each syllable. Moving towards the rear hatch, Aeryn turning her head in shock over John escalading irrational behavior.

Staleek faced him and said, "I have fulfilled the bar...." She couldn't believe it when John shoved Winona into Staleek's open mouth.

"You too...get in the ship!!" he screamed.

Backing up into the ship away from him, Aeryn shouted, "John! What the frell are you doing? This was not part of the plan!"

"Change in plans baby. This son of a bitch is the one responsible for half of the shit that's happened to us for the past two cycles. I'm going to teach 'him' what it feels like to be tortured...for a very long time."

She had to somehow make him see reason. There was nothing in John Crichton that had ever wanted to torture someone for the pure enjoyment of it. "We are 'not' taking him with us, John. You are..."

"Aeryn, for the rest of our lives...we are going to be hunted for no better reason than we exist...well, I'm giving them a damn good reason."

"John, you have to see reason..."

"Frell reason!! This mother freller is going to die slowly and I'm going to enjoy every single microt of it!" he screamed as he shoved the pistol further into the Emperor's mouth. She could hear the steadily increasing beeping of the bomb as John's heart rate grew faster with each microt that passed by.

Taking her own pistol from inside her coat, Aeryn slammed it against John's temple, knocking him unconscious and pulling him backward as he fell. She rushed forward, slamming her body into that of the Scarran's. Pain shot through her shoulder as it hit against his armor.

Staleek stumbled backward down the ramp as Aeryn hit the button, shutting the hatch. Looking at the bomb lying on John's chest, she reached down and ripped it away from his body, severing all of the connections. The hatch still had a motra left before completely closing. Running to the exit, she threw the bomb out the opening.

"D'ARGO PUT UP THE SHIELDS AND GET US THE FRELL OUT OF HERE!!!"

D'Argo hit a control and she heard felt the thrum of his cannons blasting an opening in the wall blocking their exit.

"Pilot! Prepare for Starburst the microt we are inside Moya!" he yelled into his comm as she knelt down beside John, ripping a large portion off of her shirt to stop the bleeding from the large gash on his temple.

Aeryn was suddenly rocked sideways as the concussion from the bombs blast hit Lo'La. "Are we all right, D'Argo?" she asked as she sat back up.

"Yes, and we should make it to Moya before the blast reaches her."

Several microts later she heard Pilot's voice as he said, "Moya has you in the docking web. Starbursting now!"

Half an arn later, D'Argo came towards the back and said, "We are docked. Pilot said once we have John in the med bay, he will Starburst two more times to ensure that we are not being followed. Move over, so I can pick him up."

Complying with her friend, Aeryn followed behind D'Argo as he carried John to the med bay and laid him down on the table. Looking down at John's unconscious form, she couldn't help feeling as if she were the one responsible for all the damage done to his mind this time. He had done so much damage to his own psyche in his hunt for her, she was afraid that he would never be completely healed.

Noranti brought a towel soaked in medicines and began cleaning the wound. "This should heal up without any scarring whatsoever? How did he receive this injury?" the old woman asked without looking up from her task.

"I did it. John went completely insane...he wanted to bring Staleek back so he could torture him."

"What?" Noranti said in disbelief.

Nodding her head, Aeryn said, "I've noticed his behavior becoming even more odd than it is naturally when we escaped from Grayza. Only then, I was too angry at him to care. All through our search for Moya, he had bursts of uncontrolled anger, like he was no longer in control of his own emotions. This time though, I cannot blame anyone but myself."

"No, you can not, Aeryn." Noranti said emphatically. "What Grayza did to him again was terrible, it would change anyone's behavior and not for the better."

"Again?" Aeryn said in shock. "Grayza did this to him once before?"

"I...I thought he told you. When we were on Arnessk..."

"Officer Sun...Moya and I are concerned for the Commander's condition. How is he?" Pilot asked as he appeared on the clam shell.

"The cut to his head will heal, as for the mental state...I do 'not' know." she answered sadly.

She could see the sadness in Pilot's eyes as he said, "We have been concerned for quite some time, ever since Moya observed the blood vow that he and Scorpius shared shortly before they departed to search for you."

"What blood vow?!" Aeryn turned to face the visual display.

"Moya and I believe that it was a way for Scorpius to ensure that Crichton would fulfill his part in the bargain they struck," Pilot said.

Different things that John had said and done in the past several weekens quickly ran through her mind. Turning back to the old woman, Aeryn said, "I want you to use the scanner and check for anything out of the ordinary in John."

"What do think is wrong with him?" Noranti asked, walking over to the equipment and began setting it up as Aeryn pushed his bed closer to the machine.

"I do not know, but I would not put it past Scorpius to do something to make John comply in order to gain the wormhole technology."

 


 

His head felt as if it were about to split open as he awoke. Hearing Aeryn and Noranti's voices, he tried to open his eyes, but the harsh light above him made him quickly close them once more.

As he lay there on the bed struggling to stay awake, he heard Aeryn's voice ask in hushed tones, "Are you sure this poison will kill him without causing him to suffer?"

"Yes, I am sure of it. His physiology is not that much different than your own, it should kill him quite nicely without any pain."

`Kill? Who are they wanting to kill?' he thought as he began drifting off to sleep again.

"How do I administer it?" Aeryn asked.

He heard the clatter of glass hitting something as Noranti said, "All you have to do is put into a drink..."

 


 

"Pilot, where is Scorpius?" Aeryn asked as picked up the vial from the shelf above her bed.

"He is in the center chamber with Crichton," came the response.

"Is the transport pod ready?"

"Yes, the DRDs finished half an arn ago."

"Thank you, Pilot." Steeling herself for what she was about to do, Aeryn walked towards the center chamber. Aeryn thought she would be sick at what she was about to do, but knowing it was for the best, she held the vial in her hand protectively. It had taken two days of Pilot's assistance to avoid John until he was in the same room with Scorpius. Two days that she knew was wasted when all she wanted to do was hold him in her arms.

Hearing John's angry voice, her step was reluctant as she continued into the room.

John turned around as he heard her enter. "You have been avoiding me for the last two frelling days Aeryn! What the hell were you thinking knocking me out, and throwing the goddamn bomb!" his face was flushed as he screamed at her.

Biting back the response that first came to mind, she said, "You wanted to bring a Scarran back to Moya. I did what I had to, and I threw the bomb for the same reason you built it. To kill them."

"You had no right to do that. I had plans for that son of a bitch!"

Sighing, she took a step towards him and said, "John, I suggest you use an entirely different tone of voice with me right now, before you say something you will be sorry for."

"Sorry for! That's..." he stopped screaming as he realized what the hell he was doing. `Why the hell am I screaming at Aeryn for?' he thought as he turned away from her and tried to control the anger that was raging inside of him.

Glancing at the silent figure sitting at the table, Aeryn walked to the refrigeration unit and pulled out a pitcher of water. Once filling two cups, she poured the contents of the vial in her hand into one and quickly pocketed the container.

Holding the two glasses, she turned back to the two men. Looking from one to the other she said, "Noranti and I discovered something when we were cleaning your wounds."

Looking pointedly at Scorpius, she asked, "If I had not been taken...how long were you going to wait before you used the virus on John?" she asked.

John turned away from the window he had been staring out of. "Virus? What virus?" he asked.

"We found a biomechanoid virus within both of you." Taking a step towards John, she looked him in the eye. "Only it was dormant in Scorpius. In you, it was aligned with your brainwave patterns and fixed around your...." she struggled to think of the word from flimsy she read, "Cerebellum."

"What the hell did you do?!" John screamed and pulled Scorpius away from the table.

"I did what I had to!" Scorpius growled, "To ensure...that you kept your part of the deal you struck. It was only as a means to utilize `Harvey' once more. How was I to know that you would do as you promised?"

"Is there any way to remove this virus from my body?" John asked, his clenched fists trembling in anger.

"No." Aeryn said. Walking over to John, she handed him a glass. "The virus is biomechanoid, it has to be away from electrical activity for an extreme amount of time to cease functioning."

"Just my frelling luck!" John laughed, lifting the cup to his lips. Suddenly he stopped, looking from her to the cup in his hand. She saw tears in his eyes as he whispered, "Thank you." Putting the cup to his lips, he drank the entire thing without stopping.

Looking at half-breed, Aeryn almost smiled as she said, "I want you off of this ship within the next two hundred microts, Scorpius, before I forget my own promise and put a pulse blast into you myself." Crossing her arms, she said angrily, "Part of `our' bargain was that you did not try and harm John in any form. This virus negates that deal, but I still have honor, and will reluctantly keep my end of the deal."

"I will not leave here...without the promised equations."

"Oh, I think you will," Aeryn said as she watched John's face turn suddenly pale a microt before he collapsed on the floor. "I just made sure of it. You will 'never' get that information." Rushing to John's side, she lifted his head into her lap, unable to see him face this alone.

"Officer Sun...what did you do!" Scorpius asked as he watched John's body begin to seize, a bloody foam pooling from the Human's mouth.

Stroking the side of John's face, Aeryn glanced up at the monstrosity as she said, "You drove him mad with that virus, I only ended his pain. As he told Minister Ahkna, I would rather have him dead at my hand, than to live and suffer in yours." Looking back down at John's face, she saw the pain clearly etched into every dench. `The old bitch lied! She said it would not hurt him!' she thought, taking the edge of her shirt and wiped away the tears rolling down his face.

Knocking her back, Scorpius checked John's body as his blue eyes rolled up into his head. Suddenly the shaking ceased, as the last of John's brain functions ended.

"He is dead..." Scorpius said in disbelief, his hand resting on the side of John's neck. Standing up straight, he backed away from them.

Closing John's eyes, she kissed his forehead, and whispered, "Know peace now, John."

"Do you have the restorative for the kill shot?!!" Scorpius roared.

Not even looking in his direction, she said, "No, and even if I did, it would do you no good. I poisoned him with Plevik."

Shock was evident in his voice as Scorpius said, "You just destroyed his entire brain...so he would not cooperate with me?"

Looking up at Scorpius, she hissed in anger, "Yes! John would never have been willing to give you the technology if he had any other choice. He never wanted you to have access to wormholes. I will not be held responsible for you receiving it."

Laying John's head gently on the floor, Aeryn stood and faced Scorpius and said, "Also, you destroyed him already when you put that virus in him. It drove him mad with rage."

"You do not know what you have done!!" Scorpius yelled as he lunged for her. Instead of reaching her, he found himself flailing backwards from a blast. Cradling his wounded arm, Scorpius spied D'Argo standing in the doorway of the center chamber.

Adjusting the Qualta Blade in his hand, D’Argo said, "I suggest you leave now, Scorpius. Sikozu and your belongings are in the transport. I will personally escort you, so you do not become `lost` on your way."

Chiana walked up and stood beside him, holding her own weapon in her hand.

Standing over Scorpius, Aeryn said coldly, "I want to do it, D'Argo, I brought him on board Moya, I will see him off of her." Pulling out her pulse pistol, she pointed it at the hated half-breed and said, "Get up. Your time is running out. You only have a hundred and eighty microts left before you die. So I suggest you move Scorpius."

"I'll come with you Aeryn," Chiana said behind her.

"Thank you Chiana," Aeryn said as she watched Scorpius stand and begin walking to the door.

D'Argo watched as the two women left with Scorpius at gun point. Sheathing his Qualta Blade, he said, "Pilot, how much longer do we have?"

"Two hundred and forty-five microts."

Picking up John's body, he asked, "Was Noranti able to get that `frelling' machine to work?"

"No. You will have to bring the Commander to Moya's neural cluster as the alternative, she is readjusting her power flow as we speak."

Running out the door, D'Argo had to keep readjusting John's limp body weight in his arms. He thought his lungs were going to collapse on him at any microt as he ran from tier to tier, but he knew that he could not stop. He could not fail his friend once more.

Nearing the neural cluster, his ragged voice yelled, "Pilot...time!"

"Seventy microts. The transport pod has just departed. Officer Sun and Chiana are on their way to us as we speak," Pilot said.

Aeryn's voice suddenly came over the comm, "Where are you, Noranti?"

"I am awaiting you in the cluster," Noranti answered over the comm.

"I will be there in five microts," D'Argo said. Entering the room he spotted the old woman as she pulled out the wires to the power cell. Taking John over to her, D'Argo laid John on the floor and quickly removed the man's jacket and shirt.

Aeryn and Chiana rushed into the small area. Looking at Noranti, Aeryn's voice shook as she said, "You lied! You said that frelling poison would kill John painlessly, that is would only stop his heart, but went into convulsions!"

"It should have not been painful. The poison is very fast acting, stopping the heart abruptly and the victim dies instantly, not giving his brain a chance to be damaged enough to go into convulsions." Noranti said distressfully, wringing her hands with worry.

D'Argo looked at Aeryn as he said, "What if it did more damage than what you thought it would?"

The sadness in D'Argo's eyes were a mirror for what she felt in her heart as Aeryn said, "Then I will have killed the one person I love more than life itself."

"We all made the decision to do this Aeryn," Chiana said sadly.

Noting the Nebari`s nervous movements, Aeryn responded, "No, we did not. John did not have a vote in the decision. We will have murdered him."

Taking Aeryn’s hand into his, D'Argo said, "You know that you could not tell John about it. With the neural clone controlling John's emotions and making him acting irrational, there was not telling what it would have done to keep us from destroying the virus."

"I know..."

"It is time!" Pilot announced.

Picking up the power cell wires, Aeryn asked as she knelt beside John's body, "Was Moya able to transfer most of the power away from this cell?"

"Yes, Officer Sun. Moya does not want to accidentally harm Crichton further," Pilot said.

Taking a deep breath, Aeryn sent up a silent prayer than she had read the information on the flimsy on human physiology correctly. If they had not had to wait so long for the virus to die within John, they might have been able to find another way bring him back.

Placing the tips of the wires on John's bare chest. Her own heart pounding in her ears, Aeryn called, "Now Pilot."

The power cell behind them lit up and Aeryn felt the energy course through the wires as John's body suddenly arched. Removing the wires, she watched as Noranti placed her hand on the side of John's neck and shook her head.

Repeating the movements, Aeryn said, "Again." They all held their breath as they watched the electricity force John's body to contort once more. Noranti repeated the silent shake of her head when she felt no pulse in his neck.

They repeated the movements several more times with the same results. 'I will not lose you again!' Aeryn thought, she was not ready to give up on John and prepared to keep doing this for as long as possible when Noranti said, "I feel something!" Nodding her head quickly, the old woman said, "Yes...he has a pulse now!" They each released their held breath at the news.

"Here, take these!" Aeryn said, handing the wires to Noranti. Taking John's head, she leaned it back and placed her mouth onto his. Breathing into him, she kept repeating in her mind the steps he had taught her almost four cycles before.

Sitting up, she began the chest compressions, her eyes never leaving John's face. After almost thirty microts, he began breathing on his own. D'Argo quickly placed a breathing regulator on his face as Noranti gave John an injection for whatever pain he may suffer from having his heart stopped for so long.

Aeryn sent up a silent thank you to whatever deities were watching over them.

Chiana watched as John's chest rose and fell in a slow but steady pace. "Is he going to...to be all right?"

"I really do not know Chiana," Aeryn said. "John told me that humans can go one hundred and eighty microts without oxygen and be revived safely. He was dead for three hundred..."

"Let's get him to the med bay and Noranti can use the scanner on him to look for any damage," D'Argo said as he lifted John once more, careful not to jostle the breathing mask on John's face. The rest of the crew filed behind them silently, unsure of what fate they may have given the Human.

Arriving in the med bay, D'Argo placed John on the bed and stepped back to allow Noranti to run the scans on John's body. Aeryn standing next to the bed, tried to control the trembling in her hands as she watched the old woman work.

`Please...please let him be all right.' she thought, fighting back the tears that wanted to come to the surface.

Finally Noranti, looked up at her and said, "From what I can tell, there is no permanent damage, but I cannot be certain until he awakens."

"When will that be?" Aeryn asked, breathing a sigh of relief.

"There is no way to tell with something like this. The poison `did' react harshly with his system, that was the reason he went into convulsions. However, I did not see anything on the scan to show it affecting him negatively."

Pilot appeared on the clam shell, looking down at the figure on the table. "Moya wishes for me to tell you that she is glad she was able to help the Commander."

D'Argo looked at Pilot's image and said, "And we thank her for it, Pilot. We would not have been able to do this without her." Turning to the others, he said, "I think we should leave and let Aeryn be with John alone for a while."

Rygel maneuvered his throne sled towards the door then stopped. Turning to Aeryn, he said, "You will let us know when Crichton awakens?"

Aeryn didn't turn around, her voice distant as she answered, "Of course." She watched as Noranti applied a healing ointment to the large burns on John's chest caused by the electricity entering his body. After the wounds were dressed, Aeryn noticed Noranti approaching with an injector in her hand.

"What is that?"

Pressing it against the bare skin on John's shoulder, Noranti said, "It is to help with his circulation, and I have also added something to flush out any remaining traces of poison from his body. While it will not harm him further, I do 'not' want to take any chances."

Smiling at the old woman, she said softly, "Thank you Noranti, I would not have been able to do this without your help."

Noranti placed a cover over John and said, "You are most welcome, Aeryn. I have had to many troubling things in my life, but I do not know if I would have found the fortitude to do what you have." The old woman looked at her, "Be comforted by the fact that you did it out of your love for him. May the Divine Eternal look over you both at this time."

Crossing the room in the direction of the door, Noranti turned and said, "If you need me for anything, you know to call me. I will be in later to check on him."

Nodding her head in agreement, Aeryn pulled up a stool to sit next to John's bed and wait.

 


 

She didn't know how long she sat in the dimly lit room, time seemed to stand still as she watched John's chest strongly rise and fall. Laying her head against his shoulder, she listened to his breath as her index finger gently ran up and down his arm.

"How is he?"

Turning around, Aeryn saw D'Argo standing in the door of the med bay. "The same, he has not moved since you left," she said.

"You know, it has been almost a solar day..." Sighing, he looked at his two friends. "You need to go and eat something, I will sit with him," he said.

"No, I want to be here when John wakes."

Aeryn stared at John's face. His eyes didn't even move beneath the lids. "I think I may have done the wrong thing, D'Argo... What if he never wakes, or when he does awaken, there is something seriously wrong with him?" her voice choked as she fought the tears that threatened to spill.

"You...we all did what we thought was necessary to save him. `Never' think for a microt that it was the wrong thing."

Looking up at D'Argo, she asked, "Can you help me take him to his quarters? I want John to wake up there, he does not like the med bay very much and I want him to wake up in comfortable surroundings."

"Of course," D'Argo said, moving to the head of the table.

Once D'Argo placed John on the bed, he said, "I will bring you something to eat here shortly."

 


 

Each arn that past seemed longer than the last as she watched over him. The others knew better than to try and make her stop to rest. They each quietly entered John's room, placing a tray of food next to her on the table and stood with her while she continued to wait for him to open his eyes.

On the fourth day, Aeryn tried to sleep for at least an arn when she felt as John's body gave a soft jerk. Raising her head worriedly, Aeryn watched as his eyes fluttered open. He looked around at his surroundings for a microt before tightly closing them again.

He reached up and pulled the mask off of his face, licking his dry lips. Opening his eyes his was voice a soft rasp as he asked, "Why...why am I st...still alive?"

Tears streaming down her face, Aeryn said, "We brought you back." Reaching for a cup of water next to her, she lifted John's head to help him drink it. Laying his head back down, sitting back down beside him, she saw tears glinting in the soft light on his face.

"Why?"

The smile falling from her face, Aeryn said, "What do you mean `why'?"

"Why kill me only to bring me back?"

"It was the only way to destroy the virus. It had to be without contact with electrical brain activity for two hundred and seventy microts, and we couldn't tell you about it because didn't know how the neural clone would make you react if you knew in advance."

He struggled to sit up for a moment. She stood to help him lean back against the wall. He looked up at her sadly, "But why did you bring me back? You had no right...I thought...I thought I was going to `finally' have peace from all the running...the killing."

"We brought you back because we...I love you. You did not deserve to have Scorpius manipulate you like that any more."

"I bet he shit a gold brick with this. What's he going to say when he finds out that you destroyed his new pets?"

"He is no longer on Moya. We forced him and Sikozu off in a transport pod with the knowledge that John Crichton is dead. You are truly free of him."

"I wouldn't bet the farm on that, Aeryn," John said as he tried to swing his legs over the side of the bed. He grabbed onto his chest with one hand, and the side of the bed with the other.

"You need to stay in bed John," Aeryn said, putting her hand on his shoulder to prevent him from standing.

"I need to get up and use the bathroom, Aeryn. My chest...just feels like D'Argo decided to tap dance on it."

He was silent for a moment as he sat on the edge of the bed. "You know...that wasn't a good enough reason," he said with his head bowed down.

"What wasn't a good enough reason?" Afraid to hear his answer, she asked.

John quickly wiped his face with his hand. "Nothing," John said as he grabbed her arm and began pulling himself up.

Slipping her arm around John's waist, Aeryn said, "Let me help you. Your body is going to be slightly weaker for a couple of days."

John silently accepted her assistance and they walked slowly across the room. Once at the refresher door, he said holding onto the wall for support, "I got it from here."

As he exited the small room, John noticed his reflection in the mirror on the wall in front of him and stopped. John was silent for a moment as stared into the glass, his face a mix of different emotions. The most prominent one being obvious sorrow.

He said quietly, "Do you know...what I see when I look into the mirror? I see...all of the faces of the men and women that I have killed since I've been here."

Closing his eyes for a moment, John whispered, "I can't...I can't...even see myself anymore."

He reached his hand up to feel the sore muscles of his chest. "It feels as if I can't even feel my own heart anymore, all I feel is this emptiness inside where it used to be," he said softly.

Aeryn closed the short distance between them and wrapped her arms around him. Laying her head against his back, she listened to him as he said, "I've done so much...killed...so many people since coming here. My reasons for doing it, don't justify it in the least. You know...I was once a good man."

It felt as if her heart was breaking as she listened to him. "You still are John..." Aeryn said quietly.

"Am I? I've become everything I hate. I've killed thousands..."

Circling around John, she touched the tears that ran down his face. His eyes met hers as she said, "Yes, you are. I know you don't believe that right now, but you are. While I have had my entire life to know these things, you have not. For the past four cycles you have had to learn and adapt to your surroundings to survive...it was too fast."

Laying her head against John's chest, she whispered, "Your heart does not feel empty to me. It feels as if you are doing...what you were destined to do, John. To be my friend, my lover, and the father of our child."

She felt John lay his cheek against the top of her head, his tears continuing to fall silently as they held one another in the dark of his room. She didn't know what lay ahead for either of them, tomorrow was a mystery whose secrets were only whispered by gods, but she did know that her strength lay with the man in her arms and together they would find those secrets together.

 

The End.


Originally posted July 22, 2003