Seriously, what do I have to do here people?

I feel a bit guilty about writing this here, because honestly, the last thing I put up in the rants section was pretty much the same deal, plus this is exactly the sort of thing I have a loosely followed rule against ever posting. All my interesting/amusing/nerdy stuff is ending up in other parts of the site though these days, so hey.

Here's the thing. I am really bad off. Are there people worse off than me? Sure. Lots of them. There's someone worse off than everyone in the world except for the worst-off person in the world, and even then you could make a case that perspective enters in so that person could find someone who, relatively, seems worse off. The point though is, I'm willing to bet that relative to, oh say, you, the reader, my life is totally in the toilet. It's also significantly worse than that of various people I see getting thousands of dollars in donations every month via their websites, for whatever that's worth.

Let's get specific. I have no money. I have no job. I have no car/bike/hovercraft/bus pass/etc. I have no credit. I do have tens of thousands of dollars of credit card debt, in addition to a huge amount of debt to friends and family members. I am living in my mother's attic, surrounded by boxes. There is no proper heating in this house. She is herself in dire financial straits. I can't go out and get some menial job to try and dig out of this mess, thanks to some lovely spinal cord damage having more or less permanently dropped all physical stats to 3. The only thing keeping me from dying in the street here is constantly borrowing money from the one member of my family who isn't down on his luck, and everyone involved would like me to stop doing that and start paying it back. Quite frankly, the associated guilt and stress makes it difficult for me to function at times.

The short version of all this is, of course, I need money. Rather desperately. Now, I don't want to just beg strangers for money. Granted, it would be a slight improvement over begging friends and family for money, what with the added anonymity, but still, I would much rather prefer to receive money as payment for goods and services. So, that said, here's a few things that someone, possibly you, might be inclined to pay me for. If so, or you know someone else who would then, you know, there's a mailto link in the bottom right there.

First off, there's the goods angle. I have a huge number of unsold copies of this game here. It's a good one. Every single person who has ever played it has enjoyed it. This includes game store owners, game designers, reviewers, random con-going gamers, the young children of random con-going gamers, the friends of people who have bought copies of it. Not one bit of negative feedback has ever come in. It's fun. It only requires one other person. It's cheaper than a bunch of games that aren't as good, and the quality of the components is better than anything I've ever seen. It's also the reason I have such huge debt and such awful credit. I would really like to at least break even on my whole follow-your-dreams-and-take-a-big-chance deal here.

There's also this other game here. It was specifically designed to be horrible for humor's sake, but somehow I screwed up and actually made something surprisingly fun. It's only $8 too, so, you know, hey.

Then there's all these unpublished games, contingent on, you know, having money to fund them. Dang catch-22s.

Alternatively, there's the whole services angle. Basically, I have two skills. I can design games, and by extension fix problems with other people's, and I can write. There isn't much demand for the former, but the latter I could conceivably see someone wanting to pester me about.

I have all this stuff I write about for the heck of it here. I'm familiar enough with various sorts of media that I can write reviews. Fair deal of experience doing that even. Heck, I'd be willing to take a stab at writing scripts, or storyboards, or short stories. Random articles about whatever. Freelance, regular features, whatever. So uh.. anyone in publishing out there?


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