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As of when I'm posting this rant, Thor is in some sort of relationship coma, Frog-boy is having one
of his bouts of ripping down his site to reinvent it, and Sharkey has converted his site to a sort of
light text on a black background pile of rants. So, today's rant features an odd little comic type sidebar
to help balance out the order of the universe a bit. I don't really plan to make a habit of this, but
I might do a couple next month to balance out the fact that I'm morally obligated to provide four rants
and I'll be in Japan for two weeks.
Every decade just about seems to have it's own little substitute word for cool, which a few years
down the line becomes as laughable as the things it's used to describe. My knowledge of pop cultural
history is probably lacking a bit, but here's my take on the various fads.
CoolThe 50s |
The Word Itself: Cool is the one word meaning cool which really stuck. It came from the 50s,
good for them.
Cars: Oddly bumpy with spikey fins. Quite spiffy.
Clothes and Such: Shiney Conan O'Brien hairdos, dorky college sports jackets, and formalwear.
Yuck.
Big Trends: Street racing, hanging out at diners. I don't have much of an opinion on street
racing, but I can't fathom why people would get together with their friends anywhere that serves scrambled
eggs.
Even They Realized it was Stupid: OK, I have to confess that most of my knowledge of the 50s
comes from Back to the Future.
Overall: I'm too ignorant to have a real opinion here.
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GroovyThe 60s |
The Word Itself: I kinda like groovy. It has a bit of a laid back connotation with it that
you don't get with other cool substitutes.
Cars: The Volkswagen Beatle. This is, stylistically, one of my favorite cars of all time.
Clothes and Such: Long hair, baggy clothes, tie-dyed shirts, and so forth. Fine by me I guess.
Big Trends: Lava lamps, protesting, and marijuana. That last one can probably be blamed for the
bulk of this stuff.
Even They Realized it was Stupid: Given the amount of protesting, it's a safe bet that people
realized a lot of things were stupid.
Overall: While I have never used any sort of drugs, I do have a basic appreciation for bright
swirling colors, and lava lamps are educational. I like.
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Far OutThe 70s |
The Word Itself: Ick. First of all, it's two words. Second, ugh. The only substitute for cool
that's worse than this is stellar... and I think that might also be from the 70s.
Cars: Vaguely spoon shaped is the best way I can put it. Functional, lacking in style, I have
no real opinion on them.
Clothes and Such: Bellbottoms and leisure suits. Hideous.
Big Trends: Disco, afros, space operas towards the end. Two out of three isn't bad.
Even They Realized it was Stupid: Disco. I'm told it was appreciated on a purely ironic level
by the general populace.
Overall: Generally speaking, I can't stand the 70s, but it IS when a great deal of my favorite
books were written, and Star Wars came out then, so it has some good qualities.
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RadicalThe 80s |
The Word Itself: I like it, but I don't think I've ever used it. Has a nice sound to it, but
one doesn't usually have time for three sylables when describing the cool.
Cars: Pretty darn streamlined and low to the ground. The world of auto racing sticks to the
shapes from the 80s, suggesting they're more aerodynamic than what followed. Then there were all sorts
of odd gimmicks like pop-up headlights, gull wing doors, unpainted cars, and I haven't even mentioned
Knight Rider. Thems some cool cars.
Clothes and Such: Normal type clothes in outlandish bright colors. Oh, and headbands. This is
one of the main reasons I note with irony that the 80s were more futuristic than following decades.
Big Trends: Breakdancing, videogames, artsy music videosm aerobics. All fine by me, with the
possible exception of aerobics.
Even They Realized it was Stupid: Members Only jackets, the way the zombies in Thriller pranced
around, various horror movies.
Overall: I really liked the 80s. Aside from the whole cold war thing it was a darn cool time to
be a kid.
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Da BombThe 80s |
The Word Itself: There's probably a less hideous and more popular cool substitute I could have
used here, but I'm too lazy to think of it.
Cars: Excessively streamlined. About as smooth as possible really.
Clothes and Such: Nostalgic clothes from various decades, and stuff that shows off navels.
Big Trends: The internet.
Even They Realized it was Stupid: Pretty much every catch phrase being used at the time.
Overall: I didn't really care much for the 90s at the time, but in retrospect, there were some
great cartoons back then, and the internet was practically free of ads.
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The ShizzleThe 00s |
The Word Itself: Seriously, how the heck did this trend of sticking extra random sounds in words
start?
Cars: "SUVs." The interior space of a car with the gas milage of a van. Plus they're butt ugly!
The best selling vehicle in the U.S. as of this writing is a GIANT YELLOW JEEP that seems to take up
two lanes of traffic. What is WRONG with you people?
Clothes and Such: I haven't been in the tradition to spot new trends in clothing to be quite
honest.
Big Trends: Street racing.
Even They Realized it was Stupid: Well, I suppose I'd have to get some feedback on this rant
to know for sure.
Overall: I'm hoping pop culture will find some way to redeem itself over the next 7 years.
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One last thing. Thanks to feedback from my ranting about the hat I want, I am seriously considering
stepping into the magical world of habberdashery to make it. Seeing how the brim I want isn't QUITE wide
enough to get any sort of bulk pricing on materials, and the number of people who expressed interest in
the design, I have to wonder, would any of you out there actually be willing to buy such outlandish hats
from me? If so, how much would you be willing to pay?
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