Birthday Munchkin Hat Magic

OK, so, it was my birthday recently. I dropped some heavy hints at my friends to get me Star Munchkin, and they got me Munchkin 2. Just as well really, I'd need both of these to play as a Cyborg Orc, and 2 has some absolutely hysterical cards in it. Anyway though, that's all I got. Well, that and cash. Anyway, not much of the way of presents, so if any of you are feeling disturbingly generous, hey, feel free to poke around the donation page down in the corner there, or better yet, you could...

Help me realize the dream of The Hat!

Believe it or not, the vision of this hat has haunted me for over a decade. The only reason I haven't mentioned it previously is that I figured I'd concentrate on only a few pipe dreams at a time. So now that I am definitely going to Japan in a month, it's time to devote some force of will to obtaining this here hat. I'm pretty sure this little sketch covers the whole thing, except perhaps the size of my head being a bit above average... although it probably wouldn't matter in this instance. So anyway, if anyone out there in reader land is a hat maker, knows a hat maker, or knows where I can find information on how to make such a thing myself, drop me a line.

So anyway, the original plan was that I'd fill the rest of this rant with anecdotes from how I spent my birthday, but, well, I severely overestimated the quantity of zany adventures to be had that day. So now I'll have to fill.

OK, so while I was off not having adventures, Andrew, the current weekend Q&A host at RPGamer, kicked off a new era of there being comics based on stuff from the Q&A columns. So, hooray for that and all. The thing there is, I appear in these comics, as inspired by the little pictures I sign comics with. Again, that in and of itself is all well and good, except that these pictures were created by the elf-obsessed Silkenray. So now there's a self-perpetuating notion out there that I really dig elves, and, well, I don't. I don't have anything AGAINST elves per se (well actually I do, just not to a degree at which it's worth bringing up), they just aren't on the list of things I dig. Here's what is for the record:

• Zombies
• Demons
• Orcs
• Slimes

See? No elves. Come to think of it, I have even more things I need to clear up here. Ah, THAT will fill the space!

Zombies: I think my love of zombies is pretty darn obvious. I mean, I'm working on a comic about a perky necromancer, so if it isn't clear now, it sure as smurf will be when I finish. Speaking of which, I really need to pick up the pace with this.

Demons: Again, this little love of mine has spawned a creative project. So all that could possibly need clearing up here is the definition of demon in this context, which I don't believe actually coincides with anyone else's definition of the term. I don't feel like getting into it here though.

Orcs: OK, orcs get the short end of the stick here. I really do have a disturbing fixation on orcs, and consider them to be the best of all fantasy races as typically depicted. I mean, everything else is just half-human and half-animal, or a human with some minor alterations, like being short, hairy, and/or having pointy ears. Orcs though have all sorts of truly unique traits going for them. I mean, they're green, they have tusks, uh... suppose that's it really. More importantly though would be the fact that orcs are pretty much always a tad stupid, a tad silly, and savagely violent, usually going berserk with axes. All quite admirable qualities. As I was saying though, they get the short end of the stick on this list because I've yet to encorporate them into some sort of project. For what it's worth though, if I ever get into a position where I can get my guaranteed hit of a buddy cop movie made, I plan to use the momentum from it to fund the filming of the story of a noble band of orcish warriors and their battlefield comradery. Ideally I'd want to get Blizzard in on this, because we're pretty much on the same page in this regard.

Slimes: Believe it or not, I'm not THAT big of a fan of slimes. I mean, yeah, they're great, but a lot of people believe that I think of slimes 24 hours a day. Really, the bulk of that just comes from my rising to fame by drawing a comic strip about them, and that was ultimately just the result of my not being able to draw anything at the time which had a skeletal system. So you can see why I'm trying to nip the elf association in the bud here. That said though, I still like slimes quite a bit, and if Enix ever wants to part with that giant slime balloon of theirs, I have big plans for it.

So anyway, to review. My birthday came and went without much fanfare, I really want the hat described above, and I'd rather be envisioned as some sort of demonic undead orc than an elf. Of course, ironically, an elf would look a whole lot better in that hat than any of my favorite races would... well, better than an orc at least. So I suppose my point is that I have no point... except that I REALLY want that hat!