The Season of Giving

I've always felt Halloween brings out the best in people. People say Christmas is the season for giving, but giving eachother Christmas presents is a forced ritual which seldom if ever has any real feeling behind it. When it's Halloween though, people give candy to anyone who comes to their door, the make big elaborate costumes to entertain all who see them, and a good number of people do special tributes to the holiday.I'd be doing one myself right now if all my free time hadn't been sucked away this weekend. I'll have to do something to atone for that later.

When it comes to this site, I don't really ask a lot of you people. I'm not above the occassional donation of course, but you don't see me asking for anything outright. Still, I was thinking the other day, and realized a way you could all make my days brighter at no cost to yourself. So basically, what I'm asking is, when you die, can I have your skull?

I decided I need a new hobby, and you know, ANYONE can collect STAMPS. So I've decided to collect human skulls. You may ask, why? Here's a short list of reasons:

• Human skulls are pretty darn neat looking. I mean, just look at how prominently they figure in, like, everything.
• Collecting skulls is a challenging hobby! I mean, the only ways to get your hands on one are to go grave robbing, become a serial killer, or politely ask people leave them to you in their wills. The first two don't hold much appeal to me, being illegal and all, but the third is actually incredibly fun in and of itself.
• A large pile of human skulls makes an excellent conversation piece.
• Skulls can serve many practical purposes! It's common knowledge that they make great candlesticks or pencil holders, and I'd assume they'd make a pretty good soup bowl in a pinch, although I don't think I'm quite insane enough to try that one.
• If you want to get metaphysical, surrounding yourself with skulls of people who really liked you is probably a GREAT ward against evil spirits.
• Handy drawing aids for the walking dead!

I could go on but I think the point has been made. I don't believe there's a single religeon out there requiring your skull to remain with the rest of your corpse after you die, so there's no real reason NOT to give it to someone. Heck, you'd even get more noteriety after your death by being one of the first to contribute to my eccentric hobby.

In any event, I feel I should stress that I am actually quite serious with this proposal, but I do have two additional requests should any of you opt to contribute. #1- If you (or more accurately the executor of your will) are sending me a skull, please precede it by tossing me an e-mail, both to ensure you have the right shipping address, and that nobody ends up openning a box to reveal the grin of death that isn't expecting it. #2- Before any skull is sent to me, please have someone clean it to remove any lingering soft tissues, (brain, muscle and the like). I don't think I have the stomach to open a box containing a sloppily severed human head, and by the time any of you croak I will most likely have a serious heart condition.

And now, for your Halloween treat, please enjoy this review of Perfect Blue.