The first time Ginji hugged Ban... well, no, that didn't really count, because Ban had made the first move, much to the surprise of anyone who knew him. That was a very small and elite faction, composed primarily of himself, and a few other people who wanted him dead, who weren't present.

   A couple years later, Ban still wasn't sure why he'd hugged Ginji like that. After all, he wasn't used to touching or being touched. In fact, it was the times when he felt as bad as Ginji looked at that moment when he would go out of his way to avoid people, just in case they managed to see that he was in pain behind the scowl and the glare, and decided to do something about it.

   With that in mind, it was both hypocritical and out of character for him to drop down next to Ginji, and after a moment's thought, put his arms around the boy. It wasn't even like he knew Ginji very well - they'd just barely met, even if he had already turned Ginji's life upside down.

   Ginji obviously wasn't among that small number that knew Ban, because he wrapped his arms tightly around Ban in response, his body shaking with sobs. It was then that Ban thought maybe he didn't know himself so well either; he didn't really mind Ginji's reaction at all.

   It was the second time that Ginji hugged Ban that had been completely out of the blue. It had taken him by surprise, and before he'd really had time to think about it, he'd grabbed Ginji's arms, prying him free and shoving him away roughly. The look on Ginji's face was nothing short of devastation. Although his body was still tensed, having slipped instinctively into defense mode, Ban looked into Ginji's eyes, and something in him broke. He'd seen betrayal and fear and hurt in plenty of people's eyes before, and even gloated over it - but it was different with Ginji, maybe even worse than it had been when he'd seen it in Himiko's eyes.

   With a sigh that was as much to calm himself as it was regret, Ban did something else out of character for him; it was getting to be a habit with Ginji around. Instead of just walking away, he mumbled a few words he hadn't said without sarcasm for years - an apology.

   Despite the flicker of hope in Ginji's eyes, he didn't dare touch Ban again for awhile. When he finally did, there was enough hesitation beforehand that Ban knew what he was going to do, and steeled himself for it. Even though instinct and habit caused him to clench his fists at first, going stiff in Ginji's casual hug, that time he didn't lash out. It was progress.

   It took a great deal more progress before Ban found himself lying in bed with Ginji, in a cheap room at a cheap love hotel. Not that Ginji knew what the place was really for - Ban had just told him it was a place they could catch a couple hours sleep in a real bed instead of the car, without having to pay for a full night - and although it wasn't the first time Ban had been in the room, he didn't mean to use it for its intended purpose.

   Therefore, when he woke up and found an arm draped over him sleepily as Ginji curled up at his side, it was all he could do to avoid pushing him away. Instead, he lay as still as possible, listening to the sound of Ginji's breathing. It had taken time to get used to that, too - waking up to the sound of someone else's breathing within an arm's reach, as it always was when they slept in the car. The first time, he'd almost reached out to grab the intruder before they realized he was awake, and stopped short with his right hand only inches from Ginji's peacefully sleeping face.

   This wasn't really any different, Ban decided, except that from what he could see from the angle he was in, Ginji looked happy and satisfied - like he was a kid with a favorite stuffed animal. With another of those sighs that Ginji seemed to inspire so often, Ban forced himself to relax, and managed to fall asleep. When he woke, a couple hours later than he intended, he couldn't decide if he was more annoyed that he had to pay for their accidental overtime at the place, or that his own arm had drifted down to wrap around Ginji, too. He consoled himself with the thought that it was probably just a more natural position to be in if someone was invading your personal space like that.

   Just like it was easier to slip an arm around Ginji's waist when Ginji had latched on to him with both arms around his neck, to keep his balance. Just like there was no reason not to rest your head on top of someone else's, if they decided your shoulder made a good pillow when you were spending a lazy afternoon on a park bench. Just like if someone looked at you with those big brown puppy-dog eyes, all sad and worried, you'd hug them too, no matter how tough you were - because those eyes were just about as persuasive as Ban's, on a good day.

   Just like for some reason, he'd found himself laughing more than actually fighting back, instinctively or otherwise, when Ginji would randomly jump on top of him or push him out of the way to get to the last slice of pizza. Even as he'd been getting over those instinctive reactions, Ginji had gotten over his fear of Ban lashing out at him like he used to, and that probably should have bothered Ban - after all, he was used to people being afraid of him, and he'd kind of liked it.

   More and more, though, as he and Ginji tried to make a name for the Get Backers throughout the city, he found that people weren't afraid of him. Probably it had something to do with the fact that it was sort of hard to take someone seriously when they had a goofy blond idiot hanging onto their arm all the time. But maybe, he supposed, it also had something to do with the fact that the goofy blond idiot made him grin instead of glare. And maybe he should do something about that, but he hadn't forgotten that look on Ginji's face when he'd pushed him away, months before. Anytime he thought he might snap at Ginji, tell him to act more respectable, the words came out more half-hearted than he'd intended; Ginji's smile had that effect on him. That was progress of a sort, too.

   It wasn't until they'd been partners for over a year, and Ginji had reunited with some old friends, that Ban discovered just how accustomed he'd become to Ginji's constant presence. The room was too silent to sleep in without his breathing, too still to read in without Ginji next to him on the couch, lit up by flashes from the changing images of whatever silly anime he was watching on the television. Natsumi told Ban, when he went down late one night to the Honky Tonk just to get away from the quiet, that he didn't need to be worried - Ginji's friends were, well, Ginji's friends, and they wouldn't do him any harm. And she rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, just like she saw Ginji do all the time.

   She removed that hand quickly, seeing the way his eyes narrowed, and feeling him bristle under her touch.

   It wasn't that Ban didn't like Natsumi, he thought later, as he wandered vaguely in the empty streets, his hands shoved into his pockets. She was a nice enough kid. It was just that he still wasn't used to having anyone touch him, except for Ginji. Even those couple of times he'd been in that room at the love hotel, back before he'd met Ginji - he'd touched more than been touched, and left quickly.

   Ginji, though, was different. He was perhaps as stubborn as Ban was, though he showed it in a different and more friendly way - once he grabbed you, he didn't let go. That was true both literally and figuratively, Ban supposed, turning towards home again. That was why he was out with his old friends now...

   And that was what brought him home again, just a little before midnight, happily flopping down on the couch across Ban's lap with stories to tell. Ban just smirked, leaning back and listening. Natsumi's hand, lightly touching his shoulder, had been something unfamiliar, and irrationally heavy. Ginji sprawled over him, elbowing him in the ribs as he placed his hands behind his head to grin up at his partner, was as light and familiar as Ban's own arm - as an extension of himself. Maybe that was why every time Ginji left him, Ban didn't feel right until he returned - Ginji had taken some undefinable part of him when they'd touched that first time, and Ban was never complete if Ginji wasn't right there, holding it close to him again.

   But then again, Ban thought later as he lay in the dark, an arm curled around Ginji as had become normal, Ginji was no thief. The part that he needed Ginji for, it hadn't really been taken from him. He'd lost it many years before - or maybe he'd never had it at all to begin with.