The knock on the bedroom door startled Hardin out of his writing, and he frowned vaguely. At this hour, no one was likely to come calling except for Sydney, who could simply enter as he pleased, or Joshua, if he had a nightmare. The knock was too heavy for the boy - and for Sydney, come to think of it.

Curious, Hardin took a glance outside the door with the Sight as he rose to answer it, and found to his surprise that it was Viktor. Very unusual, but Hardin opened for him anyhow. Come to think of it, Viktor had been acting a little strange already lately. Sydney had mentioned talking with him a few nights ago, but hadn't given him any real details except that he was having trouble coming to terms with some things. Something to do with Flik, from Hardin's guess. "...Yes?" he asked.

"Hey..." Viktor was grinning casually as usual, but something in the grin seemed a little strained. "Saw the light from under your door... You up for awhile?"

"It seems so - I don't need much sleep, usually." Or perhaps he was simply unused to sleeping much. Between Sydney's alternating bouts of insomnia and nightmares, he'd grown accustomed to staying up into the early hours of the morning. Even with Sydney away at the castle for the night, it was difficult to break the habit. "Is everything all right?"

"More or less, yeah," Viktor replied. "Just wondering if I could ask you a little something - I dunno if you'd be willing to talk about it, but seems like you'd be a good person to ask."

"Well... all right..." Standing back from the door, he invited Viktor in.

Viktor glanced around a little, taking in the sleek decor of the bedroom as he entered. "Sydney picks out the furniture, doesn't he?" he commented.

"I like it just fine myself." Hardin closed the door behind them. "So, what's going on?"

"Hmm, well..." Viktor seated himself backwards in the swiveling chair at the desk, while Hardin sat down on the bed to face him. "You know me and Flik are a little new to the sex stuff... was wondering, what do you and Sydney do when you need some variety?"

Hardin's face reddened, just a little. "Ah... hmm. I don't think I'm the best person you could ask about that sort of thing. Sydney's the imaginative one, really."

"Yeah, but I don't really know him so well," Viktor admitted. "Besides, he seems like he might be a little too imaginative for me and Flik's taste... He's kind of weird. But you're a pretty normal kind of guy, right?"

"Sometimes I wonder," Hardin muttered. "I suppose I've had my share of unusual moments..."

"Hey, yeah, that reminds me," Viktor said, suddenly grinning widely. "Sydney said I should ask you about something you did, something worse than him and Syl... what's up with that?"

Hardin's face grew a shade or two redder. "I think I'd actually prefer sticking to the subject at hand." And that was saying something, he thought.

"Aww, come on!"

Hardin shook his head. "It's in the past as far as I'm concerned. I'd rather not discuss it." Thinking quickly, he changed the subject. "Is Flik ticklish?"

"Huh?" It took a moment for Viktor to realize the subject had changed, but then he smirked. "Sort of... why?"

"Hmm, it might not be the same for him, then," Hardin said, thinking. "But I was thinking... feathers."

"Feathers?" Viktor eyed him curiously. "What the hell do you do with feathers?"

"Whatever you might do with your fingers," Hardin answered, trying not to flush even more. This was not the sort of thing he would ordinarily talk about, but it was better than discussing the other thing... and besides, he could relate to Viktor's problem. He'd felt horribly inexperienced and ignorant himself, when he had first become involved with Sydney. "Touch... brush lightly... the sensation is... interesting, to say the least." He smiled a little, embarrassed. "With hands like Sydney's, you have to find ways to be creative about touching, uhm... certain areas."

"Oh wow, you're right." Viktor's eyes widened. "Man... so even the whole masochism thing has its limits, huh?"

Hardin chuckled. "Definitely. There are some injuries you just... don't want to have." Viktor laughed in response, and Hardin relaxed somewhat. "Though, really... are you sure Flik's averse to the idea?"

"Of what, having me cut him?"

"Or him cutting you."

Viktor shrugged, looking a little uneasy. "Can't say it appeals to me. We've both gotten sliced up enough as it is, you know."

"Hmm..." Hardin smiled faintly. "It's different in bed than in battle, of course. But I've thought for a long time, perhaps I'm just sick..."

"So... it actually feels good to you?"

"Good..." Hardin pondered the word. "No, not 'good', precisely. But the intensity..." His voice trailed off in thought, and he shook his head; best not to think too closely about that with someone else present. "Anyhow..."

"Okay, so feathers. That sounds kinda fun, even if it would just make him ticklish," Viktor said with a smirk. "Would drive him nuts. What else?"

"It's hard to say - we all feel things differently," Hardin pointed out. "For example, the cutting... or bondage."

Viktor peered at him dubiously. "You guys do that too? Is it fun?"

"Well, no, we don't do that normally... we've dabbled in that area a few times, though. It can... intensify things, without actual pain. But for some people..." Hardin cringed, for this was not something he liked discussing in the least. "If you or Flik have ever... been held captive against your will... I... would advise you not to even try it." The one time Sydney had tied him down, the experience had been nightmarish; he thanked the gods that Sydney had picked up on the unexpected effects quickly and abandoned the attempt. Even thinking about it now made his skin crawl.

Viktor knew about that particular part of his past, though not in detail, and he sobered, nodding slightly without asking for an explanation. "Yeah, I can imagine... okay, got anything with less of a chance at screwing up somebody's head?"

"Hmm..." Hardin didn't even know where to begin, as most of the things he now took as commonplace were likely anything but for most people. "I... I feel horribly perverse asking, but... what do the two of you usually enjoy doing?"

"Oh, just the basics," Viktor replied easily. "You know, lots of touching, a little nibbling... some groping..." Despite his usual candor, he was obviously growing a little self-conscious as he went on. "Uhm, then we just... do it. You know. Lube up, and... yeah."

Hardin nodded - he didn't exactly want to talk about the details either. If he was going to have this talk, he thought, he'd have to just remain cold, clinical. Scientific about the process. "Do you take turns receiving, or is one of you always...?"

"Uhm, I'm always on top," Viktor muttered. "...Is that bad?"

"No, not if it's what you both want," Hardin told him. "But if you're looking for a change of pace, you might try switching roles at least once. You both might find you like it." He couldn't help smiling a little at that - he knew that most people assumed Sydney was the one in charge of their lovemaking, but Sydney let him take the lead on a fairly regular basis... and he knew as well that Sydney secretly loved it when he was pressed roughly down into the mattress, gasping for breath beneath Hardin's weight... Best not to think about that with Viktor present, Hardin thought again, sheepishly.

"Hmmm, I dunno," Viktor mused. "Maybe... anything else?"

Cold. Clinical. Scientific. Hardin repeated the mantra in his mind over and over before answering. "Uhm... do you ever do oral?"

"Heh, no," Viktor grinned, a little too widely. "That's like... a little... weird."

"At first, perhaps, but you do get used to it."

"But isn't it pretty one-sided?"

"To be honest, I've found that giving can be every bit as exciting as receiving, or even more so. To see your partner so..." Hardin cut the thought short. I shouldn't be thinking about this on a personal level... but then, it's hard not to, with something so intimate.

Viktor nodded. "Okay... so like... what do you do?"

Oh, gods - he wants details? Hardin's face grew flushed again in spite of his resolve to remain detached from the discussion. "Uhm... it should be fairly obvious, I think..."

"Yeah, but any neat little tricks or anything you've picked up? Anything not to do?" Viktor smirked a little. "Flik tells me I have a bad habit of chewing on him, and usually he likes it, but I dunno..."

"Well... I don't mind when Sydney uses his teeth a little - lightly," he added quickly, "but then, as you pointed out... some things feel good to me that wouldn't feel good to most people. Let's see... it's not uncommon for a person not to be able to take their partner all the way in, so using the fingers in addition works nicely... and your... uhm, your tongue..." He could feel his face growing redder by the second, and suddenly wished very badly that Viktor would go away. And that Sydney would get home.

"What do you mean?" Viktor asked with interest, apparently not noticing a thing. "Side to side? ...Licking? What?"

Hardin paused a long time before answering. "Honestly, I don't think I should talk about this anymore. It's... a bit hard to describe anyhow, it's something you, ah... have to learn with experience..."

Viktor smirked. "So you're gonna demonstrate, right?"

Hardin stared at Viktor for a moment before letting out a relieved breath. For a moment, I thought he sounded serious. "Very funny."

Viktor shrugged. "Who said I was trying to be funny?"

Hardin was left completely speechless. ...He's never serious. He can't be serious now. Especially not after the way I've seen him look at Flik, the way he always goes off after him when he's being moody...

"To be honest, Hardin... I dunno what I was thinking to start doing this stuff with Flik," Viktor confessed. "He takes it all seriously, and me? I don't know if I'm ready to settle down. I like my freedom, after all." He grinned, and Hardin froze as Viktor rose from the chair and sat down next to him on the bed, slipping an arm around his shoulders. "Seemed like we had some chemistry too, awhile back..."

Damn it! He did this on purpose! Hardin couldn't help responding to Viktor's touch - not when he was already half-aroused by what they'd been discussing. His body was longing to be touched, and despite his anger, the way Viktor was suddenly nibbling at his neck was making him shiver. "...That's enough of that."

"Bah, I don't think you mean that..."

A sudden motion took Hardin by surprise, and he flinched as Viktor reached over, placing a hand in his lap. "I... I do," he breathed, trying to muster up the resolve to pull away.

"Aw, Hardin... you don't like me no more?" Viktor grumbled playfully, letting the arm around Hardin's shoulders drop into his lap as well, the second hand joining the first in its not entirely gentle touching.

"Stop it." This time, he found the strength of will to shove his elbow roughly into Viktor's ribs, displacing one arm, and he quickly pushed the other aside as well as he stood. "I'm not drunk this time," he told Viktor, looking down at him seriously. "And as far as I can tell, neither are you. There is nothing you or I could use as an excuse for acting like this."

Still grinning, Viktor just looked up at him and shrugged. "'Cept we want to. We're both our own person, don't belong to anybody, right?"

"Yes, but I've made a decision I mean to stick to." Viktor reached out to him again, but Hardin took a step backwards, avoiding his touch. "Stop that! Viktor, I love Sydney. Even if there are others who can get a reaction out of me, I don't need anyone else. I don't want anyone else."

"Yeah, tell that to your cock." Viktor chuckled. "Even if I left right now, what are you gonna do, whack off? That doesn't really do it anymore, does it? Looks to me like you need somebody right about now, and here I am."

"Not for long." Hardin set himself firmly, glaring down at Viktor. "You asked me for help - help that I felt very uncomfortable giving - and you took advantage of that. Now go, or I will make you go." He was dangerously close to losing his temper, and he knew it.

Viktor's grin turned into a look of confused exasperation. "Damn, Hardin - what's your problem? What the hell difference does it make if we fool around a little? Seems to me like every time you and Sydney get screwed up somehow, it ends up being for the best anyway! I dunno how you two do it, but no matter what you do to each other, you always end up closer than ever in a couple days! I don't get it..."

Despite the anger and the desire roaring in his blood, suddenly it all came clear to Hardin. Forcing himself to relax, he looked down at Viktor with a comforting calm. "No, Viktor. What's your problem, that you would try something like this?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because meaningless sex with someone else isn't going to change how you feel about Flik." Seeing the look in Viktor's eyes as he spoke, Hardin breathed a little easier, and sat down in the chair Viktor had vacated. "Sydney's fling with Syl was his attempt to do the exact same thing, you know. It didn't work as he expected it to at all."

"Yeah, and then you two got back together, and were happier than before," Viktor muttered, lowering his eyes.

He said nothing more, though Hardin waited. "...Is that what you're trying to do now? Destroy everything you and Flik have so that you can rebuild?"

Viktor looked almost nervous. "I... I dunno. Maybe. Or maybe I just want it destroyed," he growled, dropping his head to rest on one hand as he glared at Hardin, with anger that really wasn't directed at him at all. "Damn it, I don't want to be in love with another guy. I don't want to be gay."

"And so you express this by trying to seduce another man," Hardin pointed out dryly.

"... Heh, yeah." Viktor chuckled quietly, then laughed a little louder. "I'm an idiot, huh? Least I could have done was find a woman..."

The helpless desperation in his laugh struck a chord with Hardin, for he still remembered how the same thoughts had tormented him when he'd first met Sydney. "Viktor... it's all right."

"Yeah, yeah, we are what we are, whatever that is," Viktor said glibly, staring down at the floor. "That's what I've been telling Flik all along. We stay true to what we want to do, and we're always us - don't need labels to decide what we are for us, 'cause then we just get pigeonholed - I know that."

Hardin waited, then finally spoke. "...But it's not that simple, is it?"

"Nope, but no big deal," Viktor replied, getting up from the bed with a shrug. "Just another of life's little things we all gotta deal with. Anyway, sorry for being a moron - I'll quit bugging you, and it'll never happen again. If it does, just smack me around some, okay?"

As casual as he sounded, he still refused to meet Hardin's eyes as he turned away, heading for the door. "Viktor..." Hardin began hesitantly; he didn't want to make anything larger than it already was, but... "You're not the only one who's gone through this."

"Yep, I know."

"You don't have to deal with it all by yourself," Hardin continued. "If you want to talk for awhile, I understand..."

Viktor chuckled, glancing back from the door. "Bah - don't worry about me. Remember I told you about that priest guy that told me and Flik and a bunch of other guys that we were all born to represent certain stars? He said mine's... heavenly... loneliness." He shrugged again, almost twitching, as he opened the door to leave. "Thanks, but I can take a lot on my own."

"...Viktor."

Halfway out already, he glanced over his shoulder in surprise, and Hardin nodded slightly, gesturing for him to come back into the bedroom. "Sydney's not going to be back until morning at least. Want to stay?"

Viktor paused, puzzled. "But you just..."

Hardin shook his head. "To sleep."

Viktor thought for a moment, then shook his head with a smirk. "Nah, like I said, I'm fine. Don't need anything like that."

"No, but do you want to?" Hardin asked him again.

"Uhm..." Viktor stepped back inside, his hand still resting on the doorknob in uncertainty. "...Maybe. You sure?"

Hardin nodded. He wasn't quite sure why he had made the offer after what Viktor had done earlier - perhaps it was just that he remembered a good many nights spent staring at the walls or the pillow or the ceiling, and wondering just what kind of a sick freak he was. "I was thinking I should turn in soon," he said, swivelling the chair to face the desk. Closing the notebook that still lay open to what he'd been writing, he placed it in the top drawer of the desk for the time being. "It seems, though, that I'm not used to sleeping alone any longer."

It was just an easy way for Viktor to get out of admitting any loneliness, and they both knew it, but Viktor nodded, accepting the gesture without mention. "Since you put it that way..." Closing the door again, he went around to the far side of the bed and kicked off his shoes while Hardin settled down on the nearer side. "So what were you writing, anyway?"

"Hmm... observations." It was a partial truth.

"About...?"

"Life, I suppose. Sydney, most of the time."

Viktor chuckled, sitting down as Hardin lay back against his pillow. "One and the same for you, huh?"

Hardin smiled faintly. "That's perhaps more true than you know."

"Yeah? So - damn!" Viktor interjected suddenly as he lay down. "This mattress is like... there's nothing to it at all. This is crazy..."

Hardin nodded, glad the subject had changed. "Sydney's rather delicate."

"Huh... I thought he was immortal."

"Yes," Hardin replied. "Immortal and delicate."

He glanced over at Viktor, who frowned thoughtfully at the ceiling. "You two are really weird, you know that?" he said, laughing suddenly as he glanced back at Hardin.

Unable to resist laughing a little himself, Hardin nodded. "I'd gotten that impression, yes."

Rolling onto his side, facing away from Hardin, Viktor sighed contentedly as he settled in to sleep. "...Hey, Hardin?"

"Hmm...?"

"Thanks."

Hardin smiled, closing his eyes. "Don't worry about it."